EdenFantasys Adult Products Reviewer: Gabe

Interesting...

Interesting? What is interesting, Butterkups?

Part of your article "Boys Will Be Boys" really offended me. Transmen don't necessarily "end up at Edenfantasys" because they want to buy packers or penetration tools. You should have said that transmen end up at this website because, like anyone else who ends up here, they want to buy sex toys for themselves, their partners, or for couple sex. Personally, I ended up here because I'm heavily into BDSM. Aside from that though, I really enjoy your reviews. They provide good insight to a lot of things and express the items in a way that they should be.

Hi Sir,
I'm really sorry I offended you. Of course you're right, and your point is one that is true of me as well (as you can tell from my reviews, I like toys generally, not just prosthetics) so I'm even more surprised, looking back, to have failed to make it explicit. When I wrote the article, I was trying to describe trans men's unique needs, and to express some trans men's relationship with the products here. In my concern to express that some trans men related to products as prosthetics, not as toys (a point that many cisgender readers probably wouldn't know otherwise), I totally forgot to make explicit that the same trans men and others made use of the other products on the site in similar ways to other users. Give me a few days and I'll get in an edit to the site and have that corrected.

It's no problem at all. And I understand what you mean exactly, because I know that sometimes being informative is hard to do when trying to explain such a topic and without leaving anything out. You're also right, most do not see their prosthetics as toys (but to each their own), and that point is also hard to make.

I you Gabe. Your reviews and insight are wonderful!

Gabe's reviews are informational, educational, and absolutely smart! When it comes to toys, your unique perspective of a young FTM brings so many new things to the table. You continually have me seeing sex toys in a new light, and your penchant for quality toys is absolutely refreshing! One of the best reviewers that EF has to offer!

Aw, thanks folks! Yer making me blush.

Thank you so much for your wonderful articles on FTM! I don't think they are in the least offensive. Transmen have trouble finding certaain products that would make their life a little easier while transitioning. I only wish EF had a few more products for transpeople!!!

Hey Gabe,
Haven't read your reviews, but it looks like you have an interesting mix including one DVD that I have, but haven't seen yet. I love how you introduce yourself. Excellent.

Hey Gabe,

I was just reading your articles. I really like them for the most part but I have a question: why do you use FTM/MTF instead of FAAB or MAAB? I know for trans partners I've had in the past and my trans friends and family at present, terms like FTM and MTF are very touchy. The implication seems to be that at one point you really *were* this other gender, and opted to alter it. FAAB and MAAB implies that these genders were simply assigned to you (and erroneously). It's the same principle as not using "female bodied" or "male bodied" because these terms seem to imply there is still something inherently gendered about these bodies when in reality, there is not.

Just a question, not at all meant to be rude or offensive. Thank you for reading.

Sex, Lies & Pre-Law

Hey Sex, Lies and Pre-Law--
Your question is a great example of how quickly the terminology in the community is changing. I've never even heard the acronyms FAAB and MAAB, despite being fairly up to speed with the trans community where I'm at. I've heard some objections to using trans in one's identity at all--so, folks who identify as "men," not "trans men," but have never heard that particular alternative term. For those folks in the dark , like me, a quick google search filled me in. FAAB and MAAB are abbreviations for Female/Male assigned at birth.

It's an interesting term, but I still don't want to use it particularly. Yeah, I see what you're saying about how FAAB and MAAB focus on the assignment, not the reality of one's gender (which, as you said, is not tied up in a body at all). But I don't like them, personally, because I don't really think they move away from a focus on the original assigned gender of the person. Whether you talk about this as an issue of sex or gender doesn't matter--either way, the implication of "female assigned at birth" is that the body itself resembled what we call female in this society and so the person was raised a woman. Personally, I don't like the entire focus of my gender identity label to be wrapped up in what I was born with or without, what I was labeled or not. I'm a trans-MAN: grammatically, the man part is the noun, the main point of the phrase, whereas the trans part is the adjective, modifying this truth about myself.

So I get why FAAB or MAAB would be useful terms for clarifying that gender is something that was wrongly assigned, but I wish they included some indication of the actual lived reality of that person. So, if the acronym weren't so damn unweildy, I would say it should be MIFAAB, or FIMAAB, where the MI and FI stand for male or female identified (if that is true for the person at hand, which it isn't always).

Thanks for responding to my question. I agree that terms like FTM/MTF and MAAB/FAAB are both usually confusing rather than clarifying. Someone's gender history shouldn't be the focus of their present lived reality. Either set of terms focuses on the birth and subsequent sex/gender assignment as some kind of Moment of Truth™. I should have acknowledged that and specified that what I appreciate terms like MAAB/FAAB is that in the cases when gender history is the focus of the discussion, it emphasizes how arbitrary the assignment can be. This is something that MTF/FTM doesn't quite do successfully. However, when gender history isn't the focus of the conversation specifically, we can both probably agree that all those acronyms are pretty unnecessary and again, confusing and obscuring.

I have seen FAAB/MAAB used in conjunction with qualifiers (ie. "I am woman, MAAB" or "I am a male, MAAB") but yeah, it's a mouthful. Terminology does change quickly especially with trans discussion because the discussion itself (in a de-medicalized and de-pathologized form) is relatively new. I'm always fighting what feels like a losing battle against obsolete language. For someone that is cissexual though, I run a greater risk of being insensitive just due to ignorance, so the battle is important to me. I was just curious so I thought I'd ask. Thank you for taking them time to answer my question.