Before I fell in love I explored my sexuality. I toyed with the idea of a one night stand and I wondered if I could be the kind of person who could have a friend with benefits. Various adult sites were visited and profiles were written to try each one on for size. I quickly realized that I wasn't the type to meet someone just for sex, either once or on a regular basis. I didn't understand how so many people could do it.
I met a man on a site for big beautiful women who said he was looking for a long term relationship. We seemed to hit it off fairly well on the phone and in instant messages so when he asked me to come and spend the weekend with him, I agreed. Somewhere in the course of our conversations BDSM and fetishes came up. He asked me about swinging and I promptly told him I wasn't interested.
The weekend finally came and it was wonderful. Though he'd just moved in to his new townhouse in DC, it was beautiful and he'd taken the time to stock my favorite drinks as well as set the mood with flowers and candles. Then he surprised me with tickets to a local fetish/swingers ball.
To say that I was shocked would be an understatement, but I was also fascinated. I had promised myself I would be less closed minded, that I would explore alternative sex practices if for no other reason than to say that I had given it a chance. So, I agreed to accompany him.
The night found me dressed as I believed a whore would have dressed if she were heading to meet a client. Dark make-up, big hair, and fuck me heels to go with my long line bra and pants. He said I looked hotter than anyone he's ever seen. I was doubtful but ready to see what the night would hold.
At the door was a woman dressed in mesh and heels higher than I have ever seen. As we made our way into the venue I noticed a table that held different colored stickers. He quickly explained the colors and what they meant. Instead of guessing who was into what, the stickers were put on your person and people would know by the color. I loved the idea but I wasn't there to participate, just observe.
All around us were people in various costumes and stages of undress. A naked man was led by his cock with a leash. A naked woman was covered in wax on a table. A woman bigger than me strutted around in heels and a g-string. I felt as if I had stepped into a buffet of carnal delight. The voyeur in me was hot and bothered.
We danced a few dances then wandered around taking in the various stations. A dungeon was in the back corner, lit with only black light. A woman had a man trussed up like a Christmas goose and was using her flogger expertly on his bottom and back. Another couple had handcuffed their submissive to a pole and allowed a stranger to have his way with her. My arousal was almost overwhelming and as if the men in the room could smell it, I suddenly was being eyed as the newest dish on the serving table.
My date promised to not allow anyone to bother me. He did very well with it all at first. A glass of wine later I was on the dance floor with him, dancing like I'd never danced before. He moved to cup my breasts and I pressed against him. One by one he removed my breasts from the cups of my bra and gave me a look that told me I wasn't to cover them. I moaned and began to grind against him in earnest.
Moments later I felt myself being pulled away. All around me were men of every shape and color. Some were shirtless, some were naked but they all were dancing with me. A gorgeous black man with green eyes was in front of me and a pale blonde with blue eyes was behind. Their hands roamed my body and their words of appreciation echoed in my ears. I was their goddess and they were my devoted subjects.
What seemed like hours later I felt someone trying to pull my pants down. Someone else was trying to play with my exposed breasts. In an instant the effects of the wine and the high of being adored for a brief moment disappeared. I felt trashy and absolutely horrible.
We left almost immediately and though I can look back and see the good things about the swinging lifestyle, I realize it isn't for me. I can see the allure and the power it has to draw people into it. I was curious enough to try it again, this time with just a married couple. Though it was intense and very pleasurable, I finally realized that it really wasn't for me, no matter the setting or the people involved.
Sex is about connecting with someone that I feel something for. Be it a man or a woman, there has to be more than sexual attraction. After all, when the sex is over and the post-coital glow fades, what is left?
If the idea of swinging interests you, talk to your partner. Do your research. Talk to people who have been swingers for more than a couple of experiences. Ask yourself why it interests you. Knowing yourself and what you hope to get out of having sex with other couples or likeminded singles is essential to having a positive experience.
If you're taking it in stride and you just want to see what it's about, that's okay. If you're looking to have needs met by someone other than your primary partner, then there are bigger problems that need solved. Try using open and honest communication to add the missing elements to your relationship instead of trying to get into the swing.