Sailor and the Seven Ballz – pt. 2

Gary Gary
Sailor and the Seven Ballz – part 2, Return of the Ballz
cover image here

I considered writing a review of this movie, but since EF does not and probably should not carry this movie, I just decided to write about my experience with this movie instead. So I would not really consider this a review, or at least not a very good one.

The other day at the Porn store where I work, we got in a new shipment of DVDs that included Sailor and the Seven Ballz part 2. At first glance, I thought that it was the first movie. I didn’t know there were any sequels. So I picked up a copy for myself. A long time ago, I had a crappy VHS fansub of the original and I had not watched it in maybe ten years or so. A few days past and when I finally got around to watching it, I was surprised that it was part 2, and surprised that this particular franchise felt the need to make a sequel. Upon further research on the internet I found out that they’ve actually made a part three as well.

So I popped this masterpiece into my temperamental $30 piece of crap DVD player, and it did the bad thing that it does sometimes, it froze up “Loading”. I give it a minute and then turn the surge protector that it is plugged into off, and then back on, as this is the only way to get the DVD player to do anything but say “Loading”. You can’t even turn the damn thing off when it freezes up. Fortunately you only have to do this once and then it works again for a while... for now at least. I used to have this really sweet 5 Disc DVD player that I bought 7 or 8 years ago, but it has recently past over to the other side. I miss that DVD player every time I watch anything on this piece of crap. The best thing about having a 5 disc DVD player (which most people think is unnecessary because they do not understand its true magnificent power) is that you can have a movie or two, a music CD or two, and some porn all in it at the same time, ready to go. So without getting up out of bed, you got all of the options you need for any situation in which you might find yourself in the bedroom, right there at the push of a button, bang!

Getting back to this movie… I get sidetracked so easily….

Once the DVD player stopped acting crazy and the movie started playing, I got comfortable and prepared myself for the oncoming awesomeness. Honestly, I watched most of this movie on fast forward. The animation was ok, almost like a flash movie you would see on someone’s website. The audio was bad, the sync was off, and it was really annoying that all of the characters had English accents. Something about the accents was just very out of place and distracting to me. Keeping in true form with most plot-driven pornography, the voice acting was really horrible and the story was even worse… but that is also kind of what makes it awesome at the same time.

It starts off with a kid getting busted for video taping two people in a car having sex, then there is ten or fifteen minutes of a sort of flashback / collage of various sex scenes. Next Sailor Moon is in a park with 2 guys, and then finally the story actually begins with Goku and Bulma getting down to business. Right before Goku is about to get off, Bulma goes down on him, however she does not swallow even though Goku is insisting that she does. She coughs and then spits. The semen then turns into the seven ballz and then they disperse across the galaxy. It did occur to me that if something this catastrophic was going to happen if Bulma did not swallow, it might have been more properly addressed before Goku started to ejaculate, but then I guess the fabulous journey this movie takes us on would never have happened… so ….

Goku and a few others characters somehow get a spaceship and fly around the universe in search of the 7 ballz. Upon finding one of the ballz, they are obtained through sex acts with the people who now possess them. This leads to a lot of crazy sex scenes that include all of Goku’s crew being bound and force-fucked by robotic machinery, and even Goku himself getting fucked in a M/M scene by what I am assuming is the lord or ruler of the one particular planet, in order to get one of the 7 balls. So this movie has a little bit of everything and there is even a little bit of tentacle sex thrown in for good measure.

If you love and anime and hentai, you still might hate this movie, but I loved it. It’s fun, it’s funny, and it’s terrible in that way that makes bad things truly terrific. Maybe if you love anime, hentai, and Ed Wood movies you would embrace this flick.
02/13/2009
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Sleeping Dreamer Sleeping Dreamer
Quote:
Originally posted by Gary
Sailor and the Seven Ballz – part 2, Return of the Ballzcover image hereI considered writing a review of this movie, but since EF does not and probably should not carry this movie, I just decided to write about my experience with this movie instead. ... More
This sounds... intriguing. A lot better than the last hentai flicked I watched where some girl pissed on a dude's dick and fucked her dog. Not to say that movie wasn't bad... just. Um. Hmm.
02/13/2009
Sammi Sammi
It does sound interesting, that's for sure.

And SD, I have to ask - what was the name of the one you watched?
02/13/2009
Sleeping Dreamer Sleeping Dreamer
Quote:
Originally posted by Sammi
It does sound interesting, that's for sure.

And SD, I have to ask - what was the name of the one you watched?
I can't recall the name but it was on spankwire.com
02/13/2009
Dragon Dragon
I need to think about watching more porn....
02/13/2009
That Weird Guy That Weird Guy
My buddies are big fans of DBZ. I'm going to send a link to them of this, oh man I can't wait for their response. HAHA. Epic.
02/13/2009
tantric tantric
Something old fashioned about me. I just can't get into any animated porn, it does nothing for me. I'm not a scifi fan so that aspect is also boring for me. But hey whatever floats your boat or errr... strokes you boat. I am picky about my "real" porn and find most of it to be crap, I know for a straight guy that sounds odd right? But man, once you see your thousandth fake orgasm and predictable bukkake shot, I dunno it just leaves ya wanting something more. Plus I think a lot of the girls look like street corner ho's. I get that a lot of guys really like the skank thing it's just not my tastes. I used to watch a lot DBZ with an ex's child, never could "get it", but then again I don't know a lot of people who actually "get" rea Tantra.
02/13/2009
Gary Gary
I agree that most porn is crap, but there is so much of it out there, that you can always find something that you really like. I have wondered what it would be like in the pre-vcr era, to only being able to watch porn at the movie theaters. I've been to a porn movie theater one time and it was pretty weird, and extremely dark!
02/17/2009
Backseat Boohoo Backseat Boohoo
I saw ads for the original flick when I was rather young (and I wasn't even looking for them, really, just stuff on the Sailor Moon series), and even then I was kinda like, "...um..."
02/17/2009
Miss Cinnamon Miss Cinnamon
I think the whole movie's up on megaporn.com... I saw the first few minutes of it and was like "..." It's pretty poor quality animation and after the plot failed to magically appear after the first five minutes, I gave up and looked for something more interesting to watch...

LIKE FUCKING MACHINES

I love fucking machine videos. There's just something so erotic about watching a girl get pounded by a dildo attached to a robotic arm. Maybe it's the noises they make. Maybe it's the lack of a quietly grunting male. Maybe I'm just a really big tech nerd :]
02/17/2009
Viktor Vysheslav Malkin Viktor Vysheslav Malkin
Sounds funny as hell, can't believe they made a sequel really. I think there is a pt4 now.
11/13/2010
Total posts: 11
Unique posters: 9