Sailor and the Seven Ballz – part 2, Return of the Ballz
cover image here
I considered writing a review of this movie, but since EF does not and probably should not carry this movie, I just decided to write about my experience with this movie instead. So I would not really consider this a review, or at least not a very good one.
The other day at the Porn store where I work, we got in a new shipment of DVDs that included Sailor and the Seven Ballz part 2. At first glance, I thought that it was the first movie. I didn’t know there were any sequels. So I picked up a copy for myself. A long time ago, I had a crappy VHS fansub of the original and I had not watched it in maybe ten years or so. A few days past and when I finally got around to watching it, I was surprised that it was part 2, and surprised that this particular franchise felt the need to make a sequel. Upon further research on the internet I found out that they’ve actually made a part three as well.
So I popped this masterpiece into my temperamental $30 piece of crap DVD player, and it did the bad thing that it does sometimes, it froze up “Loading”. I give it a minute and then turn the surge protector that it is plugged into off, and then back on, as this is the only way to get the DVD player to do anything but say “Loading”. You can’t even turn the damn thing off when it freezes up. Fortunately you only have to do this once and then it works again for a while... for now at least. I used to have this really sweet 5 Disc DVD player that I bought 7 or 8 years ago, but it has recently past over to the other side. I miss that DVD player every time I watch anything on this piece of crap. The best thing about having a 5 disc DVD player (which most people think is unnecessary because they do not understand its true magnificent power) is that you can have a movie or two, a music CD or two, and some porn all in it at the same time, ready to go. So without getting up out of bed, you got all of the options you need for any situation in which you might find yourself in the bedroom, right there at the push of a button, bang!
Getting back to this movie… I get sidetracked so easily….
Once the DVD player stopped acting crazy and the movie started playing, I got comfortable and prepared myself for the oncoming awesomeness. Honestly, I watched most of this movie on fast forward. The animation was ok, almost like a flash movie you would see on someone’s website. The audio was bad, the sync was off, and it was really annoying that all of the characters had English accents. Something about the accents was just very out of place and distracting to me. Keeping in true form with most plot-driven pornography, the voice acting was really horrible and the story was even worse… but that is also kind of what makes it awesome at the same time.
It starts off with a kid getting busted for video taping two people in a car having sex, then there is ten or fifteen minutes of a sort of flashback / collage of various sex scenes. Next Sailor Moon is in a park with 2 guys, and then finally the story actually begins with Goku and Bulma getting down to business. Right before Goku is about to get off, Bulma goes down on him, however she does not swallow even though Goku is insisting that she does. She coughs and then spits. The semen then turns into the seven ballz and then they disperse across the galaxy. It did occur to me that if something this catastrophic was going to happen if Bulma did not swallow, it might have been more properly addressed before Goku started to ejaculate, but then I guess the fabulous journey this movie takes us on would never have happened… so ….
Goku and a few others characters somehow get a spaceship and fly around the universe in search of the 7 ballz. Upon finding one of the ballz, they are obtained through sex acts with the people who now possess them. This leads to a lot of crazy sex scenes that include all of Goku’s crew being bound and force-fucked by robotic machinery, and even Goku himself getting fucked in a M/M scene by what I am assuming is the lord or ruler of the one particular planet, in order to get one of the 7 balls. So this movie has a little bit of everything and there is even a little bit of tentacle sex thrown in for good measure.
If you love and anime and hentai, you still might hate this movie, but I loved it. It’s fun, it’s funny, and it’s terrible in that way that makes bad things truly terrific. Maybe if you love anime, hentai, and Ed Wood movies you would embrace this flick.
cover image here
I considered writing a review of this movie, but since EF does not and probably should not carry this movie, I just decided to write about my experience with this movie instead. So I would not really consider this a review, or at least not a very good one.
The other day at the Porn store where I work, we got in a new shipment of DVDs that included Sailor and the Seven Ballz part 2. At first glance, I thought that it was the first movie. I didn’t know there were any sequels. So I picked up a copy for myself. A long time ago, I had a crappy VHS fansub of the original and I had not watched it in maybe ten years or so. A few days past and when I finally got around to watching it, I was surprised that it was part 2, and surprised that this particular franchise felt the need to make a sequel. Upon further research on the internet I found out that they’ve actually made a part three as well.
So I popped this masterpiece into my temperamental $30 piece of crap DVD player, and it did the bad thing that it does sometimes, it froze up “Loading”. I give it a minute and then turn the surge protector that it is plugged into off, and then back on, as this is the only way to get the DVD player to do anything but say “Loading”. You can’t even turn the damn thing off when it freezes up. Fortunately you only have to do this once and then it works again for a while... for now at least. I used to have this really sweet 5 Disc DVD player that I bought 7 or 8 years ago, but it has recently past over to the other side. I miss that DVD player every time I watch anything on this piece of crap. The best thing about having a 5 disc DVD player (which most people think is unnecessary because they do not understand its true magnificent power) is that you can have a movie or two, a music CD or two, and some porn all in it at the same time, ready to go. So without getting up out of bed, you got all of the options you need for any situation in which you might find yourself in the bedroom, right there at the push of a button, bang!
Getting back to this movie… I get sidetracked so easily….
Once the DVD player stopped acting crazy and the movie started playing, I got comfortable and prepared myself for the oncoming awesomeness. Honestly, I watched most of this movie on fast forward. The animation was ok, almost like a flash movie you would see on someone’s website. The audio was bad, the sync was off, and it was really annoying that all of the characters had English accents. Something about the accents was just very out of place and distracting to me. Keeping in true form with most plot-driven pornography, the voice acting was really horrible and the story was even worse… but that is also kind of what makes it awesome at the same time.
It starts off with a kid getting busted for video taping two people in a car having sex, then there is ten or fifteen minutes of a sort of flashback / collage of various sex scenes. Next Sailor Moon is in a park with 2 guys, and then finally the story actually begins with Goku and Bulma getting down to business. Right before Goku is about to get off, Bulma goes down on him, however she does not swallow even though Goku is insisting that she does. She coughs and then spits. The semen then turns into the seven ballz and then they disperse across the galaxy. It did occur to me that if something this catastrophic was going to happen if Bulma did not swallow, it might have been more properly addressed before Goku started to ejaculate, but then I guess the fabulous journey this movie takes us on would never have happened… so ….
Goku and a few others characters somehow get a spaceship and fly around the universe in search of the 7 ballz. Upon finding one of the ballz, they are obtained through sex acts with the people who now possess them. This leads to a lot of crazy sex scenes that include all of Goku’s crew being bound and force-fucked by robotic machinery, and even Goku himself getting fucked in a M/M scene by what I am assuming is the lord or ruler of the one particular planet, in order to get one of the 7 balls. So this movie has a little bit of everything and there is even a little bit of tentacle sex thrown in for good measure.
If you love and anime and hentai, you still might hate this movie, but I loved it. It’s fun, it’s funny, and it’s terrible in that way that makes bad things truly terrific. Maybe if you love anime, hentai, and Ed Wood movies you would embrace this flick.
