Adult game review: Lula Online

MagneticDuke MagneticDuke
The Lula games are an odd lot. Most game series are constricted, at least among the main titles, by gameplay genre, although there have been exceptions. Duke Nukem doing from a side-scrolling action platformer in the first and second games to a first-person shooter in the third is one such exception, and the Lula games are another. The first game, Lula: the Sexy empire (released as Wet: the Sexy Empire in some territories) was a management sim putting the player in the role of... some guy, helping the titular Lula start her career in the porn business by acting as her manager and cameraman. The sequel, Wet Attack: the Empire Cums Back sees kidnapped by aliens, with the player mounting a rescue. Lula 3d, the third game in the series, is an adventure game that kicks off the plot with the kidnapping of three of Lula's actresses.

The first three games were developed by CDV software entertainment, while Lula online was developed and published by Lula online GMBH. Fittingly for the first Lula game by the new company, Lula Online wraps right back around into being a management sim, with the player running a branch office of... Actually, the name of Lula's in-game business is never made clear. Point is, you, the player, are running a small porn business, starting with nothing but some startup funds and one floor of a building with six empty rooms.

Gameplay consists mainly of hiring models and staff members, building and upgrading rooms, and scheduling productions. You're limited on what you can do by two things; your XP level and what rooms you have available. For instance, you can have a live chat room set up and make some income from a phone service, but you need a server room before you can do web chats, and the server room must be upgraded further before allowing for video chat.

Unfortunately, this gives the Lula Online a similar feeling to grafting a pair of breasts onto an alarm clock. Everything is done in real time, and the interaction between the player and the models and productions is, unfortunately, limited to ordering the production and selling the result when it's done, or ordering a room be built or upgraded and using it when that's done. It doesn't start out too badly, with phone chats taking two minutes to complete and basic apartment upgrades taking fifteen minutes, but the more rewarding activities take much longer. An amateur video studio takes six hours of real time to build, and some productions take as long as four hours.

There is a way to remedy this: Lula Diamonds. The tech-savvy among you have probably guessed, the Lula Diamond is a secondary currency that is purchased with real money, and a Lula Diamond payment can instantly finish a production, or the construction or upgrading of a room. In addition, some items can only be purchased with Lula Diamonds, including some high-end rooms and models. However, this doesn't mean that the game will drain your wallet.

The game gives players 10 Lula Diamonds on gaining an XP level. Furthermore, there's an achievement system that sometimes gives Lula Diamonds as a reward. Finally, there's the collection system, which also serves as something to do while you're waiting for productions to finish.

Waiting for random letters with collection items in them to show up. While the letters themselves aren't readable, assembling collections does have its benefits. There are five different collection items, letters, flowers, jewelery, dildo(e)s, and bondage bears, each with five different items in them. Assembling a collection allows you to turn it in for a reward; didloe(s) yield money, flowers are traded in for XP, letters and jewelry can be traded in for boost items that boost the quality of productions, and bondage bears can be traded in for scratchcards.

Scratchcards are awarded to the player every 90 minutes (despite the in-game info saying every 45), and provide random prizes, including Lula Diamonds, cash, XP, boost items, gifts for your models, and even a high-end model. As I said before, you can also receive scratchcards by turning in a full set of bears, and you can also buy them with real money.

The game's graphics look nice enough, but being a management sim, you'll spend more time managing than looking at your models, which lave a limited pool of animations while on the job and relaxing in their apartments. The background music the game has is nice, if you like the rock/techno sound it has, and it's somewhat reminiscent of stereotypical porn music.

It's less of a porn game, and more of a game with pornographic elements, much like the older games in the franchise. While it seems a bit shallow as a management sim, it is a nice distraction for a couple minutes at a time, and it's still in beta, so some more things will be added, and the few bugs, such as the one that mistakenly makes it look like something'll take 13 years to get done (seriously, I did the math), will be squished. If you're bored sometime, check it out. It has its flaws, but there's just something about it that keeps me coming back, and it may be that there's just not that many erotic management sims out there.
Aug 31, 10:58 pm
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