Originally posted by
I haven't read it, just about it. I don't like the idea of it, though. See, I've been raped and I just can't take the idea that anyone could still be into this kind of thing when they know what it's based off of. It's based
I haven't read it, just about it. I don't like the idea of it, though. See, I've been raped and I just can't take the idea that anyone could still be into this kind of thing when they know what it's based off of. It's based off of rape. Or at least I think it is.
I think this is a healthy discussion and I really appreciate the feedback. You all have some wonderful opinions and I just want you all to know that I respect the way you feel.
I've been raped too, and I don't abide anyone making light of rape (i.e., the bill that had to be edited because of the terminology of "forcible rape"). HOWEVER, I also don't abide censorship. I read reviews on books to know if I would enjoy the subject matter. You also can't be a victim forever. At some point you have to claim yourself back as a survivor of such atrocities and go on with life. It's a defining moment in your life, not THE defining moment.
One thing I have learned here is that there is a difference between rape and rape-play (more accurately termed "ravishment"). Even if they're acting as though they're not consenting, they still are, or there would be fear, panic, PTSD, anxiety, depression that follows. I haven't read this series, but it seems fairly evident by the commentary here, that those things may
not be the case.
BDSM is about much more than dominance and submission. It's about intimacy, it's about trust, it's about pleasure. Once the spankings or any other type of implement-play changes from painful-pleasure to simply pain, the dom/domme has violated the trust that the sub has entrusted to him/her. And ultimately, the sub is the one in control. They are the ones who determine how far a session goes, the dom/domme is giving the sub what he/she wants.
I allowed my husband (I've been married over 8 years) to tie me up last night. He's been wanting to for as long as we've been together (9 years) and I just let him last night. This is much more about trust and intimacy than anything.
You reference in another post, FetLife. The people who are the subject of those things WANT to be tied, and forced, and gagged, and spanked. The difference between this and abuse is that they WANT it, get off on it. Personally, stuff like that doesn't appeal to me but it doesn't mean that they
shouldn't be allowed to partake. What they do has no bearing on my own sexuality.