Does This Book Take on a More Negative Look of The Slave/Master Relationship or What?

I don't like reading books about right-wing politics. I don't like horror films where masked men kill unsuspecting innocents. I really don't like ugly shoes because they traumatize my eyes.

Should all of these things be banned? Should they not be sold?

Extreme examples, yes.


How about a better one: should they not sell bondage gear on EF? Should EF not sell handcuffs or rope or blindfolds, because those can be used in a sexual assault?

I'm sorry that you found this book traumatic, but it IS a valuable piece of literature. That's why we have reviews, after all; to warn readers of the content and what to expect from such writings.

IS it willing submission, though?

No, actually, I don't think they should sell that stuff and I don't know why people buy it at all, honestly.

Books about right wing politics? I don't get it either.

In all seriousness BDSM is an activity that occurs between two (or more) consenting adults. Any self respecting BDSM participant is going to get royally pissed if their choice of activity is called abuse because there is one key difference- consent. Consent changes everything.

As far as the book? The series is beautifully written and I enjoyed it. One must understand that fiction is just that- fiction. There are many things that people enjoy in fiction and fantasies that would either never be possible or they would never do. People should not be ashamed to express and enjoy things in a fictional setting.

If you are uncomfortable with BDSM and its undercurrents I do not understand why you would read a book so clearly about BDSM. I am not saying that you are not entitled to read whatever you please, I'm just saying that you (and everyone else, including myself) should be aware of the contents of your literature and know, at least somewhat, what to expect. For example I haven't read any but I am fully aware that if I read an Ann Coulter book I am going to rage for a week (at least). That isn't an emotion I enjoy so I simply don't read them. Choice is a beautiful thing that we all have the right to exercise. If you don't want to read about BDSM simply put, don't.

I haven't read it, just about it. I don't like the idea of it, though. See, I've been raped and I just can't take the idea that anyone could still be into this kind of thing when they know what it's based off of. It's based off of rape. Or at least I think it is.

I think this is a healthy discussion and I really appreciate the feedback. You all have some wonderful opinions and I just want you all to know that I respect the way you feel.

Really, parts of it should be legal, but others, no. I'm sure you've seen FetLife and some of the brutal pictures posted on there on people's profiles. A lot of it is just plain sick. But the way I see it, a lighter BDSM is just fine.

"if you take away the right to say 'fuck' you take away the right to say 'fuck the government'
-Lenny Bruce


So this week I got hit by a vehicle while walking on a sidewalk and it kind of screwed me up. Should you not be able to watch action movies with car chases and near misses? Every time I see a car backing up i flinch, should EF not sell movies with cars? You're making a lot of judgements about something you haven't even read.

Everyone has triggers and if we removed a book every time someone was bothered by the subject matter we'd be reading the alphabet over and over and over and spending a lot more time watching television because we'd have nothing to read.

I have been raped as well, I raped and then two weeks later I was raped again by another man. He was my then-fiance's friend who was there to 'protect me' and help me feel safe. I very much understand extreme dislike for something because it is a trigger. It can take many years to get over a lot of them and you have to allow yourself time and understanding.

That being said, it is not the right choice to condemn a book, or those reading it, that you have not read and really know nothing about. Also, calling people sick for what you've seen on Fetlife is, bluntly put, unacceptable. There are quite a few heavy BDSM players on Edens, including myself, and that is an insult to them as well. I am not being rude, I am being blunt and firm when I say that ANY BDSM is just fine as long as those involved have discussed the acts and have given informed consent, it is not your place to say otherwise. It is not anyone's place to say otherwise except for the people immediately involved- the top(s)and the bottom(s) that will be participating. I understand that you do not understand BDSM because you are not a participant- and that is okay! That's the great thing about choice! Believe me when I say that no one involved in BDSM wants you to participate if you do not want to and therefore they do not expect you to know the ins and outs, the details. The only thing they expect is the same thing that they give to you- respect of their choices.

Please consider others feelings before you jump in and call them sick. There are things on Edens that people are involved in that isn't my cup of tea but respect and decorum should always take precedence- I'm sure there's some things I'm involved in that not everyone approves of or is interested in and I appreciate the respect that is extended towards me and my differences. After all, if we were all the same and enjoyed the same things, EF would be beyond boring- just a group of people sitting in a circle going 'uh huh, yep. Me too!' and it would have fizzled and died out a long time ago. I am glad that you feel safe enough to come here and participate, please do not forget why that is.

I've been raped too, and I don't abide anyone making light of rape (i.e., the bill that had to be edited because of the terminology of "forcible rape"). HOWEVER, I also don't abide censorship. I read reviews on books to know if I would enjoy the subject matter. You also can't be a victim forever. At some point you have to claim yourself back as a survivor of such atrocities and go on with life. It's a defining moment in your life, not THE defining moment.

One thing I have learned here is that there is a difference between rape and rape-play (more accurately termed "ravishment"). Even if they're acting as though they're not consenting, they still are, or there would be fear, panic, PTSD, anxiety, depression that follows. I haven't read this series, but it seems fairly evident by the commentary here, that those things may not be the case.

BDSM is about much more than dominance and submission. It's about intimacy, it's about trust, it's about pleasure. Once the spankings or any other type of implement-play changes from painful-pleasure to simply pain, the dom/domme has violated the trust that the sub has entrusted to him/her. And ultimately, the sub is the one in control. They are the ones who determine how far a session goes, the dom/domme is giving the sub what he/she wants.

I allowed my husband (I've been married over 8 years) to tie me up last night. He's been wanting to for as long as we've been together (9 years) and I just let him last night. This is much more about trust and intimacy than anything.

You reference in another post, FetLife. The people who are the subject of those things WANT to be tied, and forced, and gagged, and spanked. The difference between this and abuse is that they WANT it, get off on it. Personally, stuff like that doesn't appeal to me but it doesn't mean that they shouldn't be allowed to partake. What they do has no bearing on my own sexuality.

I like what you said.

Most of them like it, but how do we know if they aren't coerced? We don't.

How can I survive when I have nightmares every night and am trying every day not to kill myself? Triggers shouldn't exist, and when they do, I realize that a lot of the world does not, and never will understand.

It's your choice if you want to be tied up.

But it wasn't mine. And I will never consent to that kind of thing when I know what it was based upon.

Also, I hope I didn't offend anyone. I'm sorry that I have. I feel a bit offended myself, but luckily not too much, because I know you all have a right to your opinions, even on a website that might moderate our comments or flag them.

Xavier7, if you are having nightmares and suicidal thoughts please seek professional support! You deserve to take your life back and you can if you have the tools to do so. Please please contact RAINN via their website or via phone at 1.800.686.HOPE. RAINN does not have access to your phone number or name but they are excellent at lending an ear and helping you find resources locally to have local support. You deserve your life back, you are worth it, you can succeed.

Please, please take this in the way I intend it, I'm by NO MEANS suggesting that you "suck it up and move on." That is NOT what I'm saying. Living with the aftermath of years of sexual abuse and then being raped, followed by serial one night stands before I met My Mr, and then still continuing to struggle, I KNOW that it can't be *snap* fixed. So I'm going to say something to you and I hope that you take it in the way it's intended.

"How can I survive when I have nightmares every night and am trying every day not to kill myself? Triggers shouldn't exist, and when they do, I realize that a lot of the world does not, and never will understand." If you are having nightly nightmares and feel suicidal, you need to seek professional help. You are not just suffering from depression but from PTSD and it is not something that can be overcome with time. Often times, if untreated, sufferers of PTSD will become more secluded and reclused and the fears will only get worse.

You have the power to stand up to your attacker. Maybe not to his face, but by getting the help you need. Healing from this takes away his power over you and allows you to fully enjoy life again.

I have a question for you. And this is not an attack, it's simply a question. Why do you look at things on here that offend you and then are upset that they don't offend others? If you are trying to avoid triggers, I would definitely recommend not scoping out the BDSM section and books. It seems like self-destructive behavior to me.

Again, much love and support to you. If you want to talk or anything, just send me a PM. I'm usually within arms reach of my computer and am always lurking. But please, go seek out a professional. They're equipped to help you transform from victim to survivor. And I know you can do it!

I've tried for years. Nothing works. Trust me. I've dealt with therapists for years, been sent twice to a mental institution and even been to juvie because the cops were beating the crap out of me for no reason other than that I wanted to kill myself, and I was defending myself because I thought they were going to rape me. Trust me, nothing helps. Nothing is going to help. All I can do is pretend it doesn't exist.

I didn't look for it, I just came accross it. I tend to do that a lot. I try to ignore stuff, but I just don't like that it's on here, and honestly, I don't want it to trigger someone else the way it triggers me, so I ask questions...I like to question, I guess what you could say. But yeah, you're quite right. I am a self-destructive person. I always have been. I just don't know what to do with myself most days. I have no self esteem at all.

I know how you feel. I've never been raped, but I have other reasons for feeling pretty messed up. I've been fairly self-destructive for years. I have no self esteem. And believe me, I've contemplate suicide more than once. But I know that things do have the potential to get better, and that's basically what keeps me going. I'm glad you're still with us, and I hope you continue to fight those feelings. We you.

Well, thank you. I really appreciate it alot...And I keep coming back to this community because I feel loved here. This is truly a wonderful place...even to vent my sorrows...

You guys are truly wonderful. You certainly make me feel loved. (Oh wait. I'm a guy. I'm not supposed to admit to those feelings! Oh well.)

Wouldn't we much rather have someone reading these books than going out and getting a girl?