Should I be mad he wants to watch porn?

sexy34 sexy34
my boyfriend likes to watch it before and during sex. i dont really care to watch it...should i be mad at him?
02/26/2013
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js250 js250
Why? What is it about the porn that bothers you? In my personal opinion, let them watch it...it is not the people on there as much as the acts they perform and the lack of pressure involved to perform yourself that is a major allure. I admit, I used to hate watching porn years ago--then I gave it a chance and found the things I wanted to see. Now I love watching it, solo and with my hubby.

In my opinion, it is no different than reading a steamy novel, checking out a hot man/actor/etc., fantasizing about a ...??, or other sexual turn on. I do include toys in this as well--they are an added factor into a sexual relationship that enhances the experience--not substitutes for it or detracts from it. Hope I am making sense, I have written on many threads here about the subject and also an article about my issues with it to begin with.

Hugs--if you have questions or need to talk about his--message me!! I was there and really do understand. I may just have a different way of looking at things, but might be of some help for you!!
02/27/2013
never shy never shy
I think it would be best to enjoy it with him. Everyone has something that turns them on if you want a great long sex life you have to have fun and try what the other one likes. Try to find some porn you both like or make your own for him to watch
03/13/2013
angelcrossmarie1 angelcrossmarie1
Quote:
Originally posted by sexy34
my boyfriend likes to watch it before and during sex. i dont really care to watch it...should i be mad at him?
i don't think i'd like to watch it DURING sex, but i wouldn't get mad at him for watching it before or any other time.
03/14/2013
SecretKinksters SecretKinksters
I don't have an issue with it, I'm usually the one that picks out what we watch.
03/14/2013
RonLee RonLee
Quote:
Originally posted by sexy34
my boyfriend likes to watch it before and during sex. i dont really care to watch it...should i be mad at him?
"Be mad?" Of course not!
Do you really want him to feel that he has no other choice but to lie to you? Perhaps YOU no longer want to be in a relationship with him and YOU are looking for an excuse to dump him?

My GF knows I like it and that looking at porn helps me keep my erection for a longer period of time. Like having a fluffer handy before or when I need it.
Hell she's even recommended it LOL!
03/14/2013
Rin (aka Nire) Rin (aka Nire)
There's no "should" in this situation - you're either mad or you're not, and if you are, you need to ask yourself, "Why am I mad?" If it's because you feel insecure, then just talk to him about it. Odds are good that even though he watches porn, he'd much rather have you than anyone in those films. If it's a moral thing then... well, you're entitled to your beliefs, but I wouldn't push it on him, either.

Really, the only sensible reason to be mad about him watching porn would be if he did it to the point of neglecting you. If he's not, then I don't think you have anything to worry about. If watching it during sex isn't your thing, that's something you might have to talk about and figure out a setup that would work for you both.

But all that aside, if you're not mad already, there's no need to start. Some (many!) people just like watching porn, and there's nothing wrong with that.
03/14/2013
dm dm
Quote:
Originally posted by sexy34
my boyfriend likes to watch it before and during sex. i dont really care to watch it...should i be mad at him?
I don't think you should be mad. I would find out why he likes to watch it.
03/14/2013
ashley515 ashley515
Quote:
Originally posted by sexy34
my boyfriend likes to watch it before and during sex. i dont really care to watch it...should i be mad at him?
its probably the feeling of him watching another girl, that was my thing
now we watch it together at least once a week and our sex life has become more amazing
09/20/2013
ashley515 ashley515
Quote:
Originally posted by dm
I don't think you should be mad. I would find out why he likes to watch it.
thats what i did!
09/20/2013
ashley515 ashley515
Quote:
Originally posted by SecretKinksters
I don't have an issue with it, I'm usually the one that picks out what we watch.
me too!!
09/20/2013
emilymileena emilymileena
Quote:
Originally posted by RonLee
"Be mad?" Of course not!
Do you really want him to feel that he has no other choice but to lie to you? Perhaps YOU no longer want to be in a relationship with him and YOU are looking for an excuse to dump him?

My GF knows I ... More
I agree. I feel like just saying "no more watching porn" because it makes someone mad would just lead to lies.

Good advice!
11/01/2013
CinnamonNights CinnamonNights
Quote:
Originally posted by sexy34
my boyfriend likes to watch it before and during sex. i dont really care to watch it...should i be mad at him?
I don't think so, porn can be foreplay of sorts for some people. I don't think you should be mad about it, but if you actually are mad about it then you should talk to him to see if he could clear up any worries you may have.
11/01/2013
Lucifer the Cat Lucifer the Cat
Quote:
Originally posted by Rin (aka Nire)
There's no "should" in this situation - you're either mad or you're not, and if you are, you need to ask yourself, "Why am I mad?" If it's because you feel insecure, then just talk to him about it. Odds are good ... More
I agree with all of this.
11/01/2013
Teaser Teaser
I don't think you should be mad at all. Porn has been around for almost as long as sex has been, and men are very visual creatures. We generally like to see "porn". (Now, define "porn"! I like to see my wife naked. It turns me on. I have pictures/audio/video of her and us. Is that porn?) My only concern would be if he can't EVER get in the mood without watching it. Then you/he/you two may need some help from a counselor. Otherwise, talk to him. Find out what/why he likes it. Maybe even watch it with him, or ask him to see what else is out there. You might even find something you like!
11/02/2013
Adnerbmw Adnerbmw
Dont be mad. I love watching porn. I use it as a way to open up new sexual adventures, if i find a scene that i find hot or that i want to try i will send him the link and tell him what i like about it. we tend to watch porn together, he will show me porn videos he likes i show him what i like by the end we are so turned on we barely make it to the bedroom.
11/03/2013
touchofevil touchofevil
Hello. I think these responses all have their merits, but you guys are missing the point.
Sexy34: there is no reason to feel bad for how you feel. If you are uncomfortable with porn, (as am I), don't feel bad because you do! You can't help it. If you want to explore why you feel the way you do--by all means, talk with your significant other. However, you do NOT need to watch porn during sex if that isn't your thing. You shouldn't have to force yourself. Your boyfriend should understand that you are uncomfortable, and leave it out during sex. That doesn't mean he can't watch it on his own, it just means that maybe he doesn't watch it during sex or with you around. That is totally respectable,and you aren't reducing his sexy times.
Do NOT disregard your feelings because everyone says that your feelings are not warranted--they are. You have the right to say that something makes you uncomfortable or turned-off, and that's okay. Your boyfriend should be able to understand that. Good luck!
Mar 15, 1:39 am
touchofevil touchofevil
Quote:
Originally posted by RonLee
"Be mad?" Of course not!
Do you really want him to feel that he has no other choice but to lie to you? Perhaps YOU no longer want to be in a relationship with him and YOU are looking for an excuse to dump him?

My GF knows I ... More
This is blowing the situation totally out of proportion. She doesn't like watching porn during sex. How did this become an excuse to dump him? Did she even SAY she wanted to dump him? She would have done so, or said so, if that was her plan. And she didn't say he couldn't watch porn--she was talking about porn during sex.

Some of these responses are so heartless.

Attacking a person for being uncomfortable with something, or having their boundaries crossed, is just rude.

I'm sorry, but not everyone enjoys porn.
Mar 15, 1:51 am
RonLee RonLee
Quote:
Originally posted by touchofevil
This is blowing the situation totally out of proportion. She doesn't like watching porn during sex. How did this become an excuse to dump him? Did she even SAY she wanted to dump him? She would have done so, or said so, if that was her plan. And ... More
The statement by the Original Poster "i dont really care to watch it...should i be mad at him?" Indicates to me that even though she might not enjoy watching porn like her BF does, she is not YET mad about it. Given that, I will make the leap of faith that she is not happy about it either. Perhaps she's just ambivalent.

Many or most people need a "reason" to end a relationship otherwise the person who initiates the end may feel bad about it themselves. I've seen this occur with countless friends and acquaintances as well as a few of my own lovers over the years. So the person who might even subconsciously want to end the relationship looks for that reason. Sexy34 did pose the question "...should i be mad at him?" Perhaps she was not mad before but is looking for one or another of us from this forum to tell her she should be mad.

No offence intended, but you CoffeeSpoons, just might feel you want to be the person to tell Sexy34 what she may want to hear.
Mar 16, 9:33 am
Eliza Eliza
You shouldn't be mad, but you shouldn't be silent about it either. Let him know how you feel. If he refuses to take your feelings into account or compromise in some way, then maybe you can be mad.
Mar 16, 8:41 pm
DreezzyyBabyy DreezzyyBabyy
Quote:
Originally posted by sexy34
my boyfriend likes to watch it before and during sex. i dont really care to watch it...should i be mad at him?
I don't see why you should be mad, if that's what he likes.
Jul 30, 12:23 am
Total posts: 21
Unique posters: 17