Do you think a wife who must control every aspect of her life scheduling kids and managing a household, begs to be dominated in the bedroom whether she asks for it or not?

Horny & Holy Horny & Holy
I have a busy life with a busy husband and a chaotic household...I have to be in contol of every aspect of our lives from finances to chores. But I love feeling submissive in the bedroom and letting my man take control. Am I alone?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Yes I am in control outside the bedroom but love being submissive in the bedroom.
103  (61%)
No, I am not in control outside the bedroom but love being submissive in the bedroom.
33  (20%)
No I am in control outside the bedroom but hate being submissive in the bedroom.
33  (20%)
Total votes: 169
Poll is closed
03/03/2010
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NuMe NuMe
Though I did say yes, it's actually kind of both for me. I am, and have always been in total control of everything that had to be done, except going to work for my husband. So yes, there are definitely times that I like him to take charge in the bedroom. But not always. Sometimes, I like to as well. I guess it just depends on what mood I'm in that day. But I completely understand where you're coming from.
03/03/2010
Gary Gary
Things are usually never this simple or this black and white.
03/03/2010
Kayla Kayla
An assumption like assuming they all want it can probably get you into trouble.

Some women do, some don't. It really depends on the person. I speak from a BDSM point of view, but a lot of the submissive women usually do manage the household while still submitting to their husband. It normally goes on the mindset of "I want to manage all of this so my husband won't have to. So I'm still serving him while having control of all of this". Something like that.

Personally, I'm a Dominant inside and outside of the bedroom. Comes with the territory of being a Mistress, really. I'm quite sure I could never give up control in the bedroom - just not my thing, and I wouldn't enjoy it.

I guess that's my take on things. My male submissive, jor, does have responsibility for the apartment, but not the control of it. Ultimately, I tell him what needs to be done/bought, and he follows through. Suppose it just depends on the person.
03/03/2010
Miss Cinnamon Miss Cinnamon
The "whether she asks for it or not" part of this questions bugs me. It's definitely not uncommon for women who are control freaks to prefer to be submissive in the bedroom (I don't talk to enough guys about their sexual preferences in real life to be able to draw any conclusions). However, assuming that any woman who's a control freak will want to be dominated in the bedroom can get you in hot water. I would never consider (hardcore) dominating anyone in the bedroom unless we'd talked it over beforehand. And that has nothing to do with the fact that my personality makes it hard for me to dominate anyone
03/03/2010
Sir Sir
Not necessarily does a wife who is controlling in their daily life want to be dominated by their partner. I am a man who is controlling in my daily life, but that does not mean that I enjoy to be dominated by my little girl. In fact, I am dominant in every aspect of my life. Just because I lead a dominant role does not mean that I need to "tone it down" in the bedroom, so to speak. That's simply who I am.

It depends on the person. Every person is different, therefore every person will have their preferences. Some wives may enjoy to be dominated in the bedroom, and they may be controlling in every other aspect, and others may like to be dominated but are not controlling. Some wives may enjoy DOMINATING in the bedroom, but not in other aspects, and others, like Ms. Kay, enjoy dominating in every aspect. But like Gary said, in terms of this, it is not black and white. There are certain parts of control that may be delegated to keep a balance, and others that may not. Some people do not like balance. Others do.
03/03/2010
J's Alley J's Alley
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
Not necessarily does a wife who is controlling in their daily life want to be dominated by their partner. I am a man who is controlling in my daily life, but that does not mean that I enjoy to be dominated by my little girl. In fact, I am dominant ... More
This is what I was thinking.
03/03/2010
Horny & Holy Horny & Holy
Quote:
Originally posted by NuMe
Though I did say yes, it's actually kind of both for me. I am, and have always been in total control of everything that had to be done, except going to work for my husband. So yes, there are definitely times that I like him to take charge in the ... More
I have to agree...it does depend on my mood. But I've got to say the more responsibility and control I assume outside the home, I find the more I love being submissive in the bedroom. Thanks for the feedback!
03/03/2010
Horny & Holy Horny & Holy
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
Not necessarily does a wife who is controlling in their daily life want to be dominated by their partner. I am a man who is controlling in my daily life, but that does not mean that I enjoy to be dominated by my little girl. In fact, I am dominant ... More
When I said whether she asks for it or not, I meant whether she admits it or not. Sorry for the mix up!
03/03/2010
~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
No, I think she would be the dominating one...
03/03/2010
LikeSunshineDust LikeSunshineDust
It's different for everyone. I definitely agree with Miss Cinn though, the "whether she asks for it or not" part bugs me a little.
03/03/2010
Horny & Holy Horny & Holy
Please know that I meant "whether she admits it or not", that's what I meant when I said "whether she likes it or not."
03/03/2010
Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
Your situation is pretty common. People who have to or like to control things outside of the bedroom often submit but it's not a hard and fast rule.
03/03/2010
Red Red
I didn't answer b/c I am a switch. But that's not really relevant...

Don't feel alone - its an ultra common. You many have seen (in a movie, or whatever) the cliche of the CEO businessman hiring a dominatrix... There are all sorts of correlations that can be drawn. BDSM tops, for example, are often creative people - with actually creative outlets going on as a job or hobby. People who like to bottom tend to have a lot going on an seek escape and control.

And just as easily as I typed all of that, I find tonnes of examples of people who don't fit those molds.

Honestly though, don't overthink it.
03/03/2010
Red Red
double post deleted
03/03/2010
Victoria Victoria
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
Not necessarily does a wife who is controlling in their daily life want to be dominated by their partner. I am a man who is controlling in my daily life, but that does not mean that I enjoy to be dominated by my little girl. In fact, I am dominant ... More
Very well put, Sir! (and Gary!)
03/03/2010
Backseat Boohoo Backseat Boohoo
Quote:
Originally posted by Horny & Holy
Please know that I meant "whether she admits it or not", that's what I meant when I said "whether she likes it or not."
Yeah, I was just about to say...I can't really answer this question because that one phrase is really rubbing me the wrong way.
03/04/2010
LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
I think Gary said it perfectly.
03/04/2010
Luscious Lily Luscious Lily
Quote:
Originally posted by Red
I didn't answer b/c I am a switch. But that's not really relevant...

Don't feel alone - its an ultra common. You many have seen (in a movie, or whatever) the cliche of the CEO businessman hiring a dominatrix... There are all ... More
I'm also a switch, so I can't really answer the poll. Gary put it very well, though. (He's good at that) Nothing's that simple.
03/04/2010
Liz2 Liz2
Quote:
Originally posted by Luscious Lily
I'm also a switch, so I can't really answer the poll. Gary put it very well, though. (He's good at that) Nothing's that simple.
I agree, its not that simple. Communication, including picking up on cues goes a long way with me.
03/04/2010
Sundae Sundae
I find this poll a bit offensive actually, but I can see what it's getting at...
03/04/2010
Horny & Holy Horny & Holy
I'm sorry you find it offensive - it was not meant as such. I only meant that whether I admit it or not or whether I talk about it with my husband - I enjoy being submissive in the bedroom because it's something I don't HAVE to be in control of. I just wanted to see if I was alone in feeling that way....like I said, sorry you found this poll offensive...I did not mean it to be. Thanks for the feedback!
03/04/2010
Horny & Holy Horny & Holy
By the way, what's a switch?
03/04/2010
Red Red
Quote:
Originally posted by Horny & Holy
By the way, what's a switch?
someone who enjoys playing on both sides of the topping and bottoming spectrum
03/04/2010
Rockin' Rockin'
Quote:
Originally posted by Horny & Holy
By the way, what's a switch?
A switch is someone who enjoys being dominant and submissive (usually at different points in time). I'm a switch as well. Some people feel very strongly dominant or very strongly submissive, and others feel like they want to do both.
03/04/2010
Backseat Boohoo Backseat Boohoo
Quote:
Originally posted by Rockin'
A switch is someone who enjoys being dominant and submissive (usually at different points in time). I'm a switch as well. Some people feel very strongly dominant or very strongly submissive, and others feel like they want to do both.
Ditto, although I'm generally more dominant with women and more submissive with men. I think it's a size thing.
05/14/2010
Elodie Elodie
My boyfriend and I both switch, though he's a bit more dominant and I'm a bit more submissive, sex-wise. Exploring both is awesome.
05/14/2010
Owl Identified Owl Identified
"whether she asks for it or not"

Uh, like rape? No.
05/15/2010
Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by Miss Cinnamon
The "whether she asks for it or not" part of this questions bugs me. It's definitely not uncommon for women who are control freaks to prefer to be submissive in the bedroom (I don't talk to enough guys about their sexual preferences ... More
Exactly.
05/15/2010
Miss Cinnamon Miss Cinnamon
Quote:
Originally posted by Owl Identified
"whether she asks for it or not"

Uh, like rape? No.
Horny & Holy clarified earlier: "Please know that I meant "whether she admits it or not", that's what I meant when I said "whether she likes it or not." "

Personally, I still think that asking said woman about her preferences is better than making any assumptions
05/15/2010
Total posts: 95
Unique posters: 81