Advice for begginer

Agree on a word to end it. Or a word to reduce the intensity. Communication and a sound understanding on the terms and conditons should be reached. it sounds like a contract, but this is what you may want to ensure your confort in the experience.

I agree. There needs to be a lot of communication. Talk it all out before hand. My husband and I are in the same process right now. So far we are just in the talking phase of it. I am doing a lot of reading up on it: the how-to, and safety. If you are doing rope bondage, I have read up that its a good idea to practice before you actually do it during a scene. Always have a pair of scissors ready. And no matter what, have a safe word!

Each fill out a BDSM checklist and trade 'em. The Beautiful Kind wrote one up that I quite liked link. There are lots of other checklists out there if that one doesn't quite to do it for you, just google "BDSM checklist" or something similar. It goes with the communication bit, and may help you figure out what direction you want to take your play in and where your limits are. Denote items on there that are absolutely not something you want to ever try so that no one's confused about boundaries. At the very least, it's a great jumping off point to figure out what gets you excited.

I'll follow-up on what's already been said here.

While you're IN bondage or restraints, it's too late to talk about it. Make sure that you both have had plenty of time to think about what you want to experience and what you *don't* want to happen. Don't be afraid to communicate those things to each other, fully.

A safe word is a MUST. Read up on them. Some people try to get fancy with them but I stick with the old faithful 'Red'.

A checklist is a great idea to fill out, exchange, and keep updated, also the more activities you participate in, the more your checklist will develop. Your likes and dislikes will change as you grow and learn more about who you are as your kinks come out!

A really great idea would be to try something high on his list this time, then next time try something high on yours. Who knows, you might find that you end up really liking some of the things you never expected to.

The most important thing is to remember to have fun!

Good luck!

Thanks everyone, I appriciate it!