BDSM Advice

I don't think you can "ease" someone into it. But I do think you can peak their interest. Try watching some LIGHT BDSM porn together. That ought to get the juices flowing.

I know many people who started off shy in BDSM who grew to love it. I would suggest you both experiment with things like him holding you down in the bedroom, maybe cuffing you to the bed, getting some under the bed restraints, or you could just talk to him about it.

If he's not into it, he's not into it. That's what you need to keep in mind. Not everyone's kink is going to be someone else's kink.

I hope it all works out for you

You can try watching an instructional dvd with him. Try either Nina Hartley’s Guide to Bondage Sex or Midori's Expert Guide to Sensual Bondage.

I think the gentlest intro is sensual bondage. A common misconception is BDSM is entirely whips, chains and femdom or, in some circumstances, abuse. While those that are involved know better, this is the impression that society and media presents.

Of course talk to him about it, bring up the gentle sexy side for him to dip his toes in. If he's seriously opposed to it, I wouldn't push it. BDSM isn't for everyone which is totally okay.

Take it slow and easy. Start out with a little bit here and there mixed into your vanilla sex. Pinning gently is a good way to start out. You would be supprised at the number of people who don't think about the fact that someone pinning them or biting them is really BDSM. Remember as with all BDSM and just general relationships, communication is key. If he doesn't like it, then work with what his kinks are and go from there.

My boyfriend is definitely into biting, and being bitten. And what he doesn't realize, is that most of the time when we do have sex, he grabs my hands by my wrists and pins them up over my head without even thinking about it. He is definitely into S and M, loves a bit of pain during sex. So, he does do things that could be considered light BDSM.

When we first started dating, he let me whip him with a soft, pleather whip, and he -really- enjoyed it. In fact, I think he would enjoy a real leather whip even more.

But again, he's just really shy about the whole situation. I think he's afraid of trying it because he's afraid he's going to hurt me.

I'd suggest starting off with something simple, like a set of handcuffs or a blindfold. Make it fun, and take it easy. You can start out without going into the pain bits until he's more comfortable.