I'm curious about collars

The New Intimacy

I'm curious about collars

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Contributor: ghostie ghostie
Hello! This is my first post and I'm a little nervous asking this, but I have a question about collars.

In my mind, wearing a collar symbolizes that I'm like an animal, a dog, and deserve to be treated as such. I don't like this. I'm not at all into the humiliation or degradation aspect of BDSM play. However, today someone told me that he views collars as a teaching tool, and a way to remind a submissive who's in charge, NOT as a means to humiliate.

So I'm curious, what does wearing a collar mean or symbolize to you? (I'm not referring to "being collared", I realize that's a completely different matter! I'm referring to play collars.) Does it always have to include the humiliation/animal aspect? I'd love to hear if it has purposes beyond this.
04/18/2012
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Contributor: GONE! GONE!
They don't make me feel humiliated at all unless I want it to. For me, it's all about the sensation even if I don't have a dominant partner in my life. I love the feeling of one around my neck.
04/18/2012
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
I don't see a collar as anything different than a wedding ring - an outward sign of staking exclusivity. I like belonging to someone; it means I'm cared for and that I mean a lot to my Master who has accepted the responsibility of my sexuality. It's a covenant of Trust, first and foremost. But that's probably more involved than what you're asking about - you're asking about it when used in play.

It never has to include the animal/humiliation aspect unless you want it to; that requires a conscious decision of both parties to act on it. A collar is a costume piece - a Marker of position. Symbol of control of your body and sexuality - you surrender your being to the Master/Mistress. It still leads back to Trust.

The popularization of negative BDSM in mainstream entertainment (and by sillyass teenagers) gives the rest of us who wear them a bad name and an unneeded psychological label of being degraded. Totally not the case.
04/18/2012
Contributor: underHim underHim
I agree with Chilipepper. I view mine as a sort of extension on my wedding ring. It is everything I vowed to do plus submission and ownership.
04/18/2012
Contributor: gsfanatic gsfanatic
Ageed with above, the only way it becomes a animal/humiliation aspect is if you want it to be. It can also be nice for practical things, like letting your partner take control and guide you. Make sure you talk it out with your partner beforehand to set limits though.
04/18/2012