What do you think about Domestic Submission?

MimiPhryxus MimiPhryxus
After writing the article on Domestic Submission (link) I had to put it into practice today. I woke up to a kiss on the forehead as my DaddyDom walked out of the house leaving me a pile of laundry (3 loads to be exact with the weather being all muddy here) and a pile of dishes in the sink. Definitely had a moment where I had to remind myself to practice what I preach.

What do you all think about domestic submission or the article in general?
08/02/2012
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Zandrock Zandrock
Quote:
Originally posted by MimiPhryxus
After writing the article on Domestic Submission (link) I had to put it into practice today. I woke up to a kiss on the forehead as my DaddyDom walked out of the house leaving me a pile of laundry (3 loads to be exact with the weather being all muddy ... More
I like my power dynamics to be relatively short. I prefer to have an equal relationship for most of the time. I think it would be fun for a weekend, but not for a long time.

I can see however how somebody would like this. It definitely creates a power dynamic which can be sexually exciting. I think it is a neat dynamic. I also think there is nothing wrong with being a housewife or househusband. I think with equality existing (at least relatively well) there is nothing wrong with taking on a house role, or a submissive house role.
08/02/2012
ScarletFox ScarletFox
For me, Domestic Submission is part of our relationship for the most part. For me its that sense of pride knowing that they can see the work that I have done. Though its also something that I don't always need to do as I tend to be a very clean all the things type of person. But when given a task that is specifically domestic I strive to do my best.

I really enjoyed reading the article I think it really showed that there are so many different facets to BDSM and its not all about pain and such.
08/03/2012
KyotoAngel KyotoAngel
I like traditional gender roles myself so domestic submission is something that, with the right person, comes quite naturally to me.

Considering my boyfriend is (at the moment, it may change with time) submissive though, he has mentioned wanting to clean up in an effort to please my while I go relax in a nice bath.
It's a cute idea, I suppose we can try it a time or two but for the most part I'd like the housework to be either done by me or shared equally.

I guess the thought of a man cleaning just doesn't seem all that natural to me for some reason. xD
08/03/2012
- Kira - - Kira -
We do service submission as part of our dynamic. I'm given a list of chores to do each day. I log the time I do them (he's big on time logs because of his job) and send it to him.

I have mixed feelings on service. I love doing it because it helps me continue to feel our dynamic even when he's away. I was never taught how to do housework though, so I feel like I never do well enough. When I clean the floor but it doesn't look just so, I feel like I've failed even if he says I didn't. So I struggle with chores because I can't ever get them perfect.
08/03/2012
MimiPhryxus MimiPhryxus
Wow, thank you all for your responses, they're great.

@Kira, I feel the same way. I grew up with a grandmother who, rather than have someone do it wrong, simply never taught me how to do basic things like laundry and cleaning. When I went to college I sort of had to learn everything myself so I mess up a lot. Thankfully my Dom has been super sweet about it and doesn't mind if its not perfect as long as I tried to get it done properly...
except for dying his socks pink...he wasn't a fan of that.
08/03/2012
- Kira - - Kira -
Quote:
Originally posted by MimiPhryxus
Wow, thank you all for your responses, they're great.

@Kira, I feel the same way. I grew up with a grandmother who, rather than have someone do it wrong, simply never taught me how to do basic things like laundry and cleaning. When I went ... More
That's how my mom is. She just did everything. If I tried to do something she wouldn't like the way it was done and she'd just do it herself. I've lived with someone ever since I moved away from home and most guys were either content to have it messy or would help me out a lot.

You died his socks pink? LOL! I think I'd get punished for that. Good thing my mom made me a laundry cheat sheet a few years back.
08/03/2012
Experiment Experiment
I don't really care for domestic submission. I think playing with power dynamics can be very sexually exciting, but I want to leave them in sexual terms. I don't walk around all day naked, why would I play submissive all day?
08/03/2012
MimiPhryxus MimiPhryxus
Quote:
Originally posted by - Kira -
That's how my mom is. She just did everything. If I tried to do something she wouldn't like the way it was done and she'd just do it herself. I've lived with someone ever since I moved away from home and most guys were either ... More
Well...I sort of kind of missed a red shirt in the whites...just a little...
Yea he wasn't happy.
08/03/2012
MimiPhryxus MimiPhryxus
Quote:
Originally posted by Experiment
I don't really care for domestic submission. I think playing with power dynamics can be very sexually exciting, but I want to leave them in sexual terms. I don't walk around all day naked, why would I play submissive all day?
Its not for everyone ^_^
08/03/2012
- Kira - - Kira -
Quote:
Originally posted by Experiment
I don't really care for domestic submission. I think playing with power dynamics can be very sexually exciting, but I want to leave them in sexual terms. I don't walk around all day naked, why would I play submissive all day?
What does walking around all day naked have anything to do with "playing" submissive all day? D/s isn't just sex. It's power exchange. Power exchange can happen in a non-sexual way. You don't have to do it that way, but many do. Also "playing" isn't really a good term the way you've used it. Those that do total power exchange usually don't consider it "playing."
08/03/2012
- Kira - - Kira -
Quote:
Originally posted by MimiPhryxus
Well...I sort of kind of missed a red shirt in the whites...just a little...
Yea he wasn't happy.
LOL! I did that with my son's clothes a few months back. It was a shirt from school with cheap dye. X.x
08/03/2012
gsfanatic gsfanatic
It's fun, and my partner enjoyed doing what I told her to. Not sure it's something I'd do regularly though
08/04/2012
Phantom2291 Phantom2291
Quote:
Originally posted by MimiPhryxus
After writing the article on Domestic Submission (link) I had to put it into practice today. I woke up to a kiss on the forehead as my DaddyDom walked out of the house leaving me a pile of laundry (3 loads to be exact with the weather being all muddy ... More
That sounds like he might be crossing the line between Dom and chauvinism.
08/05/2012
- Kira - - Kira -
Quote:
Originally posted by Phantom2291
That sounds like he might be crossing the line between Dom and chauvinism.
If it's consensual between both partners to live that way, why would it be chauvinism?
08/05/2012
MimiPhryxus MimiPhryxus
Quote:
Originally posted by Phantom2291
That sounds like he might be crossing the line between Dom and chauvinism.
-giggles- thanks for the concern but its really no big deal. I actually had a little fun pretending to be Mrs. Mitchell (from Denis the Menace) and some 1950s fetishism ^_^
08/06/2012
MimiPhryxus MimiPhryxus
Daddy was discussing getting a maid one day and I started pouting and told him he was trying ot give my job to someone else! >.<
08/10/2012
charletnarouh charletnarouh
i am in a 24/7 D/s relationship with my wonderful Mistress. my Mistress is a bit on the OCD side, which is both exciting and challenging. For me, the need to complete tasks correctly and to Her standards is exciting and it's a turn on. i love it when She teaches me just how She likes a certain task completed and how pleased She is with me when i do it correctly. For Her, however, it's very challenging and sometimes difficult to relinquish control (ironic, huh?) enough to let me have a certain responsibility because She's so used to Her mentality of "if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself." She's like Kira's mom and Mimi's grandmother. She always just does everything so that She knows it's done correctly and will typically redo something done by someone else. In some ways, O/our power dynamic and the tasks i've been given have helped Her. Now, instead of being frustrated that a partner hung up the towels backwards or didn't make the bed just so and having to redo it, She can teach me how She likes these things done and has every right to punish me if i fuck them up. It's ok for Her to give me a good spanking because i left the toilet lid up or didn't get open the blinds correctly. i welcome those corrections and it's helped her feel more in control of her environment and helped lessen Her guilt for asking me to conform to Her standards. Things that, in a non D/s relationship might cause arguments, and have in her past relationships, have become part of our dynamic that is loving and fun and even sexy. i do these things out of care and respect for her and i enjoy them because it reinforces our dynamic which makes me happy.
Domestic service is not, in itself, chauvinistic if it's done in a healthy, consensual, mutually fulfilling D/s or M/s context. It may appear chauvinistic to witness such a dynamic between a Male/female couple but it's important to realize that the female in this relationship is not submitting because she's female and her partner is Male, she's submitting because she's submissive to Him and that is the dynamic they've negotiated and that Male Dominant/female submissive is just one of infinite possible combinations in this lifestyle. i've seen many relationships that are Female Dominant/male submissive where the male does the domestic chores, and likewise, same-sex pairings exist with either partner in the subservient role and there are myriad possible combinations of folks that are trans, genderqueer, genderfluid, andro, gender-less or otherwise non-binary identified. It's only chauvinistic if it's done in the spirit and intention of the belief that one sex or gender or identity is inherently inferior to another. If one were to say that the female must always be the domestic servent or must always be the submissive, or if the Male Dominant truly believes that His female submissive must serve Him because she is female and therefore inferior to his Male Domliness, that would be chauvinistic. That's not typically the case in my experience, and i'm assuming that's not the case with Mimi and her Daddy. If a bit of chauvinistic, male superiority, 1950's type role playing goes on, that's not true chauvinism. And the submissive always has the true power in a healthy relationship, of course. In her submissive role, she has the power to end the relationship or insist on a change if she's unhappy with the way He is treating her.
In response to Experiment's post, i may not walk around naked all day, but i do walk around submissive all day, every day. i am my Mistress' girl at all times. i carry her token every day. While "play" has it's place in O/our relationship (oh yes, we play), i'm not "playing" at being submissive. i AM submissive. For some, power exchange is limited to sex and play (where "play" means BDSM activities and scenes) but many people prefer to live their lives with a 24/7 power exchange between them and their partners. This is, in healthy relationships, a submissive driven arrangement where the submissive holds all the real power by giving it up. Because they are the ones relinquishing power, they are in total control of it because they can take back the power at any time. Domestic service or other protocols can be a wonderful, fun, sexy, loving and just plain HOT way to reinforce the dynamic of a 24/7 relationship. It can help maintain connection and energy between partners during times of separation and it can help enforce definitions of roles and boundaries. i love the protocols my Mistress and i have. They make me feel cared for, valuable, safe, and happy.
08/10/2012
- Kira - - Kira -
Quote:
Originally posted by charletnarouh
i am in a 24/7 D/s relationship with my wonderful Mistress. my Mistress is a bit on the OCD side, which is both exciting and challenging. For me, the need to complete tasks correctly and to Her standards is exciting and it's a turn on. i love it ... More
I always love your responses. They're so well worded and thought out.
08/10/2012
charletnarouh charletnarouh
Quote:
Originally posted by - Kira -
I always love your responses. They're so well worded and thought out.
Awwwww! Thank you! You rock!
08/11/2012
MimiPhryxus MimiPhryxus
Quote:
Originally posted by charletnarouh
Awwwww! Thank you! You rock!
What a great response. Thanks so much.

I really appreciate what you've said and it was so well worded and hit everything I would have tried to say but wouldn't have come out as nice. Thanks
08/18/2012
Leather & Lace Leather & Lace
I am fine with it. I am very traditional as well. The man in the relationship is the head of the household.
08/19/2012
SavingMyself SavingMyself
For me, housework is not part of my submission. I do housework because it needs to be done, not because my dom commands it.
09/02/2012
LadyRelentless LadyRelentless
Quote:
Originally posted by Phantom2291
That sounds like he might be crossing the line between Dom and chauvinism.
Yea, it's really hard for me to read that without feeling like it's borrowed from a 50s wife-manual with "husband" switched out for "dom".

I understand wanting to please your dom/husband/partner/lo ver, and I understand that for some people this is a great way to do it.

My inner feminist, however, totally freaks out at the idea of being given a list of housechores that are expected of me.

Then again, I suppose, while I like being tied up in bed sometimes, I'm not much of a sub out of the bedroom.

I'm honestly not sure how I'd feel about ordering him around the house doing chores. Maybe I'd think it was sexy having him naked/dressed up sexy vacuuming. Or maybe I'd just feel like an asshole. Hard to say.
09/03/2012
Total posts: 24
Unique posters: 12