Entry level submissive/ dominent

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Entry level submissive/ dominent

LittleA LittleA
Me and my guy would like to start experimenting more with being tied up and blindfolded, dominated, etc. As being new to it, what are some good ways to start? We have cuffs and blindfolds, probably will invite temperature control, and some light pain. We may switch back and forth, he has expressed interest in being submissive, and I'm more than happy to be the one in control. I do like the idea of him in control too. Please give us some ideas as to how to get into this lifestyle.
12/07/2011
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dcooper dcooper
Quote:
Originally posted by LittleA
Me and my guy would like to start experimenting more with being tied up and blindfolded, dominated, etc. As being new to it, what are some good ways to start? We have cuffs and blindfolds, probably will invite temperature control, and some light ...
If you haven't been to Fetlife yet, you should give it a whirl. It's sort of a Facebook for the BDSM community. A lot of groups and a lot of folks willing to dish out advice. You may also find some local groups etc., if and when you're ready to venture out into the kinky world.

That being said, here are some basic pointers.

1. Talk a lot during your play. The dominant should be sure to pay attention to whoever is in the submissive role, check in regularly and make sure they're enjoying themselves.

2. Be sure you have a safeword. "Red" is the industry standard and it means stop. Some also use Red, yellow and green -- as in "stop," "okay, that's just about enough" and "keep going with that."

3. Restraints and blindfolds are a great way to start. Also, try out some household items for fun. Wooden spoons and spatulas can make great spanking toys. Clothespins can make great nipple clamps (and can be used almost anywhere), though they are too painful for some. Ice cubes, candle wax (white candle wax is usually less hot).

4. Talk a lot before too. Make sure you both know what each of you is curious about trying and that you clearly express any limits that you might have beforehand. After that, the dominant should feel relative free reign to be in control of anything that happens within those limits. For example, he may like the idea of humiliation and name calling, but you may not. Or vice versa.

5. Have fun with it. The whole idea is to explore and enjoy yourselves. So just let go and roll with it.

6. And most importantly, don't forget that your mind is the greatest tool any dominant has. Teasing, building anticipation and delivering the unexpected are your friends.
12/07/2011
AndroAngel AndroAngel
What dcooper said. I'd also like to add a few book suggestions starting with the one I think would be most useful to you:
"Safe, Sane, Consensual, and Fun" by John Warren
and
"The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy" by Violet Blue

Also, I if you want to get more into limits and interests you might try:
the Sexmap
Soul's Haven BDSM checklist
12/07/2011
LittleA LittleA
Thanks a lot, we have started exploring and I am kind of hooked, we had one of the most intimate and kinky nights on our first venture, I didn't expect it to result that way. I figured we'd like it, but it opened up a whole new world. Thanks for the advice!
01/10/2012
Total posts: 4
Unique posters: 3