Getting into BDSM

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Getting into BDSM

SAE09 SAE09
My husband and I have a very open sex life, and a few nights ago while we were enjoying each others bodies, He spanked me hard than usual and I got totally turned on. & I started looking into BDSM, How did you get started, and what are some basic things to help us explore this new world?
11/25/2011
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Cedarlooman Cedarlooman
Quote:
Originally posted by SAE09
My husband and I have a very open sex life, and a few nights ago while we were enjoying each others bodies, He spanked me hard than usual and I got totally turned on. & I started looking into BDSM, How did you get started, and what are some basic ...
I jumped into (seriously) exploring a little over a year ago. There is a lot of stuff out there, to be sure. You can browse on the internet, but you never know what you are going to get. The BDSM forums on here have some very good topics, actually. One of the things I did was read Jay Wiseman's book "SM101". It gives a very good introductory overview of the various aspects of kink. I have also read "Screw the Roses, Give me the Thourns" bu Molly Devlin, and there are a couple of books out there by Janet Hardy that are great as well. Once you have some basic info and if you want to explore more, you could always join Fetlife.com and look around the groups there and see if you can find a local group that has munches or meet & greets to go to find like-minded people.
11/25/2011
GoneBabyGone GoneBabyGone
I was always interested but never knew what it was called until about four years ago. The best place for ideas and information that I have found is leathernroses.com

I went to fetlife and didn't care for it much because I had to keep chasing people away that were trying to dom me without my permission, and got angry when I refused. It was pretty bad. Leather and roses is all informative and nothing pornographic. For me it was the best place to learn things about the BDSM lifestyle and everyone there will be more than willing to talk to you and tell you about their lifestyle.
11/26/2011
Kilot Kilot
I originally got interested by reading a military science fiction book that I've been told is worded like a trashy romance novel for guys. It worked for me and I ended up training someone sexually even before I know what BDSM was called. Soon after I started looking around and found the Dark Side Podcast and it was them that turned me to FetLife (since all those Canadians stick together). I would recommend the book "La Laisse, A Common Sense Approach to Dominance and Submission" by Soduire (could be out of print now), as well as The Forbidden Fruit by the author of the podcast I listen to, as well as Jay Wiseman's SM101 for a basic understanding.

Finally the most useful thing I would recommend is to find your local munch and just go out and get involved in the community. I was an academic for years before I went to my first munch (typically advertised on FetLife) and since I got involved in my local community I have had tons more fun and learns more than I ever could in books.

Looking forward to your joining the darkside, remember, we have cookies
Kilot
11/27/2011
dcooper dcooper
Quote:
Originally posted by Kilot
I originally got interested by reading a military science fiction book that I've been told is worded like a trashy romance novel for guys. It worked for me and I ended up training someone sexually even before I know what BDSM was called. Soon ...
I'd absolutely recommend you join Fetlifeif you're serious about exploring BDSM. It's basically a Facebook for the kinky community. You can join online and real-life groups, ask questions in forums, and most importantly read what others have to say. Everyone in the BDSM community has been a newbie like you at one point, and there is a lot to learn about safety and the many facets of BDSM itself.
11/27/2011
stlouisxxx stlouisxxx
1st I'd communicate the boundaries with each other and create a safe word.
Then it is up to your imaginations. Ropes, cuffs, being held down, spankings, wax. Be careful with wax as it could leave scars. The softer the candle usually the lower the melting temp. Be careful with ropes as you don't want to cut circulation off, be good with knots, as you want to be safe and if needed to escape you don't want to spend 30 minutes undoing knots.
Will you be the submissive only or will you switch and dominate him?
You both could write down ideas as to what you would be willing to try and branch out from there. Or write down your off limits.
12/04/2011
nebbish nebbish
I was a little pervert as a child, so I got into BDSM a lot earlier than I probably should have.
For me, I read The Story of O when I was about 12. I was very ... confused? It's not right for people to ENJOY spankings. There's something seriously wrong with that, right?

Pretty much, I stole all my mother's books *sniggers* & so I'd say reading is probably the best way? Read everything you can, fiction or non, and see what turns you on. You like spankings, but are you a masochist? Does punishment turn you on? Would this be just in the bedroom or does the slave life get you off?

FetLife is cool cos there's a lot of groups with good information. Sometimes, you can even meet real & really cool people.
Screw The Roses, Give Me the Thorns was awesome! The Story of O was good. The Marketplace series was really hot, too! I also enjoyed Anne Rice's Sleeping Beauty series. (written under A. N. Roquelaure)

Plus side: I find reading erotica with my honey to be a huge turn on. Like watching porn, but more intellectual? lol! You could also search the web for personal blogs & share bits you see. Experiment! There's no set in stone way to practice BDSM. The only rules apply to first aid & safe ways to tie someone up.
12/05/2011
Total posts: 7
Unique posters: 7