Help with learning D/s roles

PieC PieC
Can anyone tell me how or where to start looking for information on how to be more submissive (female) and more dominant (male). *If you need more info just mssg me. I didn't want to write a story, but if need be, I will explain!
02/13/2013
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Ayogirl230 Ayogirl230
google!
02/17/2013
Mitzuki Mitzuki
I feel like being submissive or dominant isn't something you can necessarily learn. It's always been easy for me to just be submissive, just because it's always who I've been personality wise. My partner has just always been a more dominant person in personality as well. Then again, I've done some reading of other D/s couples, as well as just general information. Google is actually a wonderful resource if you go to the right places. Some information is very out there and I'd take it with a grain of salt. If you have questions about it, feel free to message me and maybe I can help?
02/17/2013
BloodHound BloodHound
Quote:
Originally posted by PieC
Can anyone tell me how or where to start looking for information on how to be more submissive (female) and more dominant (male). *If you need more info just mssg me. I didn't want to write a story, but if need be, I will explain!
Mitzuki has a good point. Dominance and submission are generally things that can't be taught. More of a state of being that a learned activity. What you can learn though is the various techniques in BDSM that can help you in you out. Techniques such as rope bondage or flogging. I think eden still has a few good books on rope bondage.
02/17/2013
Taylor Taylor
I like a site called submissive guide it has a lot of good information. Some of it is just how your personality is, but I do think if you have year mind set on it you can learn a great deal about it too. I don't think anyone goes into it being the perfect dom or sub just based on their personality alone
02/17/2013
BloodHound BloodHound
Quote:
Originally posted by Taylor
I like a site called submissive guide it has a lot of good information. Some of it is just how your personality is, but I do think if you have year mind set on it you can learn a great deal about it too. I don't think anyone goes into it being ... More
You can't change someone's underlying personality though. They are either Dominant or Submissive. I've seen people try and force the issue before. A female friend of mine who identifies as a submissive wanted her submissive boyfriend to be her Dom. The relationship didn't work and ended completely because she was trying to put him in a role that was not for him. It didn't matter how much either of them had their mind set on it you can't fit a square peg into a round hole without destroying the peg.

Nobody goes into being the perfect Dom or sub based on anything. When you take away all the toys you still have a person. We are still fallible human beings and we make mistakes. Our role as a Dom or sub lies within us and it is our responsibilities to know our selves and what we want. Doing so makes us a better Dom or sub. "Better but never perfect"
02/17/2013
PieC PieC
Quote:
Originally posted by Taylor
I like a site called submissive guide it has a lot of good information. Some of it is just how your personality is, but I do think if you have year mind set on it you can learn a great deal about it too. I don't think anyone goes into it being ... More
Yes, in finding this site I did not think that it had the information I was looking for, but once I took the time out to read through some of the articles, it was just what I needed. Thank you!
02/18/2013
charletnarouh charletnarouh
Yes, being Dominant or submissive has a lot to do with personality, but those traits can be latent or can be brought out in someone who may not appear to have them initially. And there is much to be learned whether the traits are natural or not. Many books and resources exist with a wealth of information about BDSM relationship structures and how to successfully negotiate and navigate the roles of those relationships. There's a lot more to learn about BDSM than how to tie someone up and beat them. The ability to derive pleasure from the acts of submitting or Dominating, being Dominated or being submitted to is more crucial than an actual predisposition to doing one or the other, which may not be apparent until one has actually tried adopting the roles. Also, it's remarkably unfair to discount the many MANY switches who can derive pleasure from and be happy in any roles. Plus, the naturally submissive are often the folks who enjoy the escapism of a Dominant BDSM role and vice versa, for isn't it often our most prized fantasies to be something or someone different from who we are everyday? So it's unwise and shortsighted to assume that the immediately apparent traits of a person will dictate their ability to perform a role and enjoy it to the fullest.
02/18/2013
Total posts: 8
Unique posters: 6