How did you feel when you realized you were into kink/BDSM?

Nyx (Under the Covers) Nyx (Under the Covers)
I was thinking that, for me, realizing that I'm kinky/Dominant was actually a huge relief. I had spent so much time wondering why I wasn't 'normal' that finally accepting this identity was powerful and affirming. I'm wondering how other people have experienced coming to terms with being into kink/BDSM?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Relief/happiness at figuring things out.
7
It kind of just happened gradually; there wasn't one moment of realization.
19
I didn't really feel anything.
3
Shame/concern about being found out.
2
Guilt about getting turned on by non-vanilla things.
5
The obligatory other! (Elaborate in comments)
7
Total votes: 43 (34 voters)
Poll is closed
11/11/2012
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Many of my earliest memories were of being dominated and bound. So for me it was more realizing everyone wasn't into such things than realizing that I was. I always knew I was and just assumed everyone was the same way. I never felt any shame in liking what I did, even when I found out it wasn't the norm. It was frustrating to wade through partners who weren't into the same things I am. It's difficult when you're young to find people willing to try something that doesn't fit into society's version of "normal."
11/11/2012
The Mother of a SiNner The Mother of a SiNner
Quote:
Originally posted by Nyx (Under the Covers)
I was thinking that, for me, realizing that I'm kinky/Dominant was actually a huge relief. I had spent so much time wondering why I wasn't 'normal' that finally accepting this identity was powerful and affirming. I'm wondering how ... More
didnt feel one way or the other really always knew i liked kink
11/11/2012
panthercat23 panthercat23
Just over time it was a realization.
11/11/2012
solitudinarian solitudinarian
I felt shameful/guilty when I realized, as I did not know about the existence of BDSM and such things. I initially thought that there was something wrong with me. I would blush and get all tingy whenever I saw someone getting tied up in a movie and was very fearful of others discovering these reactions.

It was more of a gradual thing. I looked back on certain events that happened when I was younger and suddenly knew the true meaning of them. When I found out that there were others like me (via the internet), I felt better. I am now completely comfortable with my kinky desires.
11/11/2012
Supervixen Supervixen
I felt excited and like I had (and still do have) so much more to my sexuality to explore. I used to think that I'm not terribly sexual, just because I was limiting myself to a very vanilla sex life. But then again, I had a high libido and thought about sex a lot, so I couldn't figure out what my issue was. Turns out I just wasn't having the kind of sex that I would find intriguing and fun. So as that side of me started to be opened up, I felt a lot excitement. I still do!
11/11/2012
Nyx (Under the Covers) Nyx (Under the Covers)
Quote:
Originally posted by Supervixen
I felt excited and like I had (and still do have) so much more to my sexuality to explore. I used to think that I'm not terribly sexual, just because I was limiting myself to a very vanilla sex life. But then again, I had a high libido and ... More
Exactly! I used to wonder why I couldn't reconcile my very high libido with a lack of interest in doing the kind of sex that was available to me. But now things have changed, for the better, and I know what I'm into now
11/11/2012
Stinkytofu10 Stinkytofu10
Quote:
Originally posted by Nyx (Under the Covers)
I was thinking that, for me, realizing that I'm kinky/Dominant was actually a huge relief. I had spent so much time wondering why I wasn't 'normal' that finally accepting this identity was powerful and affirming. I'm wondering how ... More
Guilt about getting turned on by non-vanilla things.
11/11/2012
gsfanatic gsfanatic
Neat, this is something fun and kinky. Helps that I grew up with pretty open about sexuality friends
11/11/2012
sXeVegan90 sXeVegan90
For me it happened gradually.
11/12/2012
Gallowraven Gallowraven
even when I was just figuring out what my clitoris was for, I was into some weird shit. it wasn't until I learned how to turn off the safe search on my search engine that I learned, it wasn't weird, it was BDSM. "Oh, hey, there is a name for it...and there is a lot of it....This means Im not a sicko" I discovered that I was actually pretty normal.
11/12/2012
table38792 table38792
I didn't feel bad or anything but it's not like I was jumping with excitement like I finally discovered something after years of searching.

It was kind of a slow, gradual interest that set in comfortably.
11/12/2012
KyotoAngel KyotoAngel
Well at first when I realized it (it was more like a gradual evolution), I was both excited to start learning more about it and sort of embarrassed and hiding it like some shameful secret, but once I joined FetLife and made a few friends that are into it to I realized that it's not something to be ashamed of because there's lots of people that are into it to.

It's a lot easier to love and accept yourself when you're not convinced you're some depraved freak that likes things no one else does. =3
11/12/2012
Zandrock Zandrock
No realization. Always just knew it, and it just always existed.
11/12/2012
Caus Caus
Honestly, I kinda just always knew I'd be into some odd stuff. I just kind of embraced it and I think that helps because if I'm happy and content with my interests, my partner can learn to accept or be open about their interests as well.
11/12/2012
novanilla novanilla
I was happy but it wasn't like "oh this is what is missing from my life!" It just was like, well, this is cool, this is my new favorite stuff to do during sex.
11/22/2012
LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
Quote:
Originally posted by Nyx (Under the Covers)
I was thinking that, for me, realizing that I'm kinky/Dominant was actually a huge relief. I had spent so much time wondering why I wasn't 'normal' that finally accepting this identity was powerful and affirming. I'm wondering how ... More
It just happened gradually for me.
11/29/2012
sillylilkitten sillylilkitten
I'd always known there was something different about what I was into, but when I discovered that BDSM was a thing that existed, it wasn't so much a surprise or a relief as it was a feeling of everything finally coming together and making sense for me.
11/29/2012
hall5885 hall5885
I was always interested in BDSM like things as far back as I can remember but didn't know that there was a "thing" like BDSM that existed and people did. I really never had anything feelings about it when I realized that other people was interested in that kinda thing. Only feeling or thought I had was down the road when I was older when I realize that I could find someone else to play with cause clearly other people liked it too.
12/03/2012
ASpiritedSlut ASpiritedSlut
I always felt normal, it took me a long time to begin to understand that others were not as open-minded as I've always been. However, it didn't make me feel weird about myself at all. I've just always been who I am, finding out that other people aren't didn't change anything major for me.
12/04/2012
gwenevieve gwenevieve
Quote:
Originally posted by Nyx (Under the Covers)
I was thinking that, for me, realizing that I'm kinky/Dominant was actually a huge relief. I had spent so much time wondering why I wasn't 'normal' that finally accepting this identity was powerful and affirming. I'm wondering how ... More
Things sorta just popped up gradually throughout my life. There was never a time where I thought I WOULDN'T be into it though. I kinda just knew hah
12/17/2012
anonkitty anonkitty
It was a relief for me. I've had kinky tendencies for a long, long time, but didn't know what it's actually called until a few years ago. =] Reaction was: "Whew."
12/17/2012
Total posts: 22
Unique posters: 21