How did you get your partner to participate in BDSM with you?

P3ngu1n78 P3ngu1n78
I'm too shy...
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
My partner brought it up to me.
MistressDandelion , Boyqueen , Gdom , marriedlady123 , RedKyuubi , FrustratedFemme
6  (8%)
Someone else introduced it to us.
I just told my partner what I wanted to try.
Girl Deviante , plaidvulva , pinkpottergirl , OhMy! , apreslapetitmort , pokefan15 , Geogeo , asoutherngirl , Princess-Kayla ♥ , ExesandOhs , elli , humblepie , gsfanatic , butts , Katt , solitudinarian , Zandrock , TheHardOne , AmberBayta , Fleurs Violettes , HannahPanda , Mirachaya , hall5885 , brevado , CoffeeCup , Thomas90 , Nykatron , table38792 , amazon , JackRaiden , Cinnyree , vanillaSpice , thisisadeletedaccount , LavenderSkies , spiced , novanilla , Sima-pusya , Violet October , RatHands , Kitka , PieC , Andrey2052 , captainsgirl , padmeamidala , nikki0668 , Ganconagh , MornaStar , LittleBun91
48  (64%)
Other (Please comment!)
kendra30752 , SadoMas , Mia.The.Wonder.Slut , Glinteye , Midnightsun327 , (k)InkyIvy , Sir , Airen Wolf , LAndJ , Phantom2291 , sillylilkitten , TrenchcoatHunters , Cowgirl-Cutie , Katelyn , apryls , charletnarouh , Hummingbird , twelve13 , LoneOokami , mailroomorder , Ayogirl230
21  (28%)
Total votes: 75
Poll is closed
04/07/2012
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kendra30752 kendra30752
Quote:
Originally posted by P3ngu1n78
I'm too shy...
I kind of brought it up to him and it wasn't anything we discussed deeply. Then I secretly bought some restraints, accessories and a load of Shunga products then told him to sit in a chair in front of my pleasure swing (he thought we were just going to do it in the swing!) and I told him to close his eyes then I tied his ass up! Ha Ha. He was very surprised, but we only do light things so there's nothing scary or intense about our play. I think you should just bring it up. Just say something jokingly like "I've been thinking about tying you up!" Laugh and take note of his reaction. Something like that is a good way to bring it up and find out what he thinks. Afterwards you could say "I think you'd like it! Would you."
04/07/2012
apreslapetitmort apreslapetitmort
If you can't say it to their face, what about a letter, or a text? Don't throw them straight in to it, just suggest it. Or, during sex, perhaps try and put the two of you in a scene/situation that you would enjoy. If he asks what's going on, it will open the field for you to discuss it, and hopefully because you'll already be feeling open and flirty with the prior sexual acts, you'll be able to open up to them more. Good luck.
04/08/2012
SadoMas SadoMas
I hint it all cute like lol
04/08/2012
Mia.The.Wonder.Slut Mia.The.Wonder.Slut
I asked my partner and we both concluded that we don't even remember how it was brought up. That's strange, I guess haha
04/12/2012
Geogeo Geogeo
I'm always the one most into BDSM and just tell them what I enjoy....some agree to it, some can't deal with it.
04/12/2012
Princess-Kayla ♥ Princess-Kayla ♥
I just told him that I had a thing for Handcuffs, and we took it from there.
04/15/2012
Glinteye Glinteye
We sort of came to it together. SOrry. If you really care about them, dont worry.
04/15/2012
Glinteye Glinteye
lol. came. sorry..
04/15/2012
ExesandOhs ExesandOhs
I just told him I was interested.
04/15/2012
Midnightsun327 Midnightsun327
My partner and I both come from a BDSM past. His entire family on His father's side is involved in the lifestyle in one way or another and I have been into the lifestyle for over 16 years (with Him for 11) and we actually met at a BDSM event.
04/15/2012
MistressDandelion MistressDandelion
My partner brought up he was a sub, but he did know I was a switch at the time. I did have to adapt, tho.
04/17/2012
gsfanatic gsfanatic
After we'd had some vanilla sex, we talked about kinks that we had/had heard of (I had more experience). She was willing to give it a try, and we went from there
04/18/2012
Sex Positivity Sex Positivity
I practically had to strong arm him into pinning me down.
04/18/2012
Boyqueen Boyqueen
My partner was the one who sort of introduced me to it, though I knew about a lot of it.
07/07/2012
butts butts
Especially recently, we're really open with what we want to try in bed.
07/07/2012
Zandrock Zandrock
I told my partner I liked BDSM. Then slowly started telling things I was interested in, then would show them, then would incorporate them. So we started out with rope bondage (bought a book, then bought rope and tried it), then bought leather restraints (shopped together, then bought it and tired it) and we still do the same with toys. I was just sharing the other day about hooks, hoods, floggers, and bondage mitts
07/08/2012
(k)InkyIvy (k)InkyIvy
When my partner and I started dating, he was very vanilla. We'd had a few casual discussions about sexual preferences/fetishes, and he'd admitted to getting turned-on by the thought of causing pain, but also said that he'd never actually tried it.
When we became sexually active together, I introduced him to kink, starting off with handcuffs and some light spanking. He discovered that he really enjoyed the role of sadistic Dom, and we just grew from there.
07/09/2012
Sir Sir
I've been involved my entire life, so it's hard to say. I've introduced it to the majority of my partners, and considering my single status right now, it doesn't work.

A person needs to have it somewhere within them in order to make it work.
07/09/2012
Mirachaya Mirachaya
We met each other at a local munch as we are both members of the local kink community. We weren't looking to hook up but had a lot in common, it wasn't hard to discuss what kinks we liked. Just another average conversation for us.
07/16/2012
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by P3ngu1n78
I'm too shy...
Actually I had an interest but my husband wasn't interested. It was our life partner that broke the ice...he was interested. Then EF sent me some floggers kind of making my desire pretty obvious. Just one incident where EF helped us try some things we were interested in but maybe a little scared to try.
07/16/2012
LAndJ LAndJ
We kind of joke about it, but don't actually participate in it. Though he is getting more brave to pin me down and be more dominate lately.
07/17/2012
brevado brevado
Nice to be open about what we each want, we never really worry about introducing anything new
07/17/2012
Phantom2291 Phantom2291
Quote:
Originally posted by P3ngu1n78
I'm too shy...
One night after sex, I asked her what her biggest fantasy was, she said spanking. She asked me the same, and I had to "now don't freak out on me, but..." and began to slowly introduce elements. At first just hands tied, and now we're heavily into it. It's all about tact.
08/04/2012
marriedlady123 marriedlady123
Quote:
Originally posted by kendra30752
I kind of brought it up to him and it wasn't anything we discussed deeply. Then I secretly bought some restraints, accessories and a load of Shunga products then told him to sit in a chair in front of my pleasure swing (he thought we were just ... More
Start small! A bit of spanking or restraints here and there!
01/07/2013
Nykatron Nykatron
I was open and honest with my partner.
01/07/2013
sillylilkitten sillylilkitten
We met on a BDSM social networking site, so we already knew what we were into and didn't have to go through the process of explaining and such.
01/07/2013
TrenchcoatHunters TrenchcoatHunters
Quote:
Originally posted by P3ngu1n78
I'm too shy...
I like light, but she dont like any
01/07/2013
amazon amazon
Just open communication
01/07/2013
Cinnyree Cinnyree
Quote:
Originally posted by Glinteye
We sort of came to it together. SOrry. If you really care about them, dont worry.
i agree, if it is a strong relationship you should not be shy. If it is not a strong enough relationship for you to be open about what you want maybe it's not the time to do it
01/07/2013
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Total posts: 54
Unique posters: 53