How do you know if you are into bondage?

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How do you know if you are into bondage?

HisOneAndOnly HisOneAndOnly
How do you know whether or not you are into the bondage items that are available? I want to try new things in the bondage and fetish sections on the website, but afraid that I won't really be as into them as I think I am. How do I go about telling my husband that I want to try out more items in the bondage toys available? Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to go about trying new things in this category? I am open to almost anything, and really think it would be fun to try these items out. I already own on item in the category, but really am leaning toward wanting to use more of them and see if I really like it!!!!
06/21/2012
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solitudinarian solitudinarian
Start off slow and maybe use some things around the house. If you're interested in spanking, for example, wooden spoons and plastic spatulas can be a cheap introduction. Be sure to read up on safety information to avoid nerve damage with bondage. With spanking, be sure to hit only fleshy areas and avoid the spine. Cuffs are a good, versatile introduction to bondage, since they do not require knowledge of knots and such. Leather may be too expensive if you are just starting out, so have a look at some neoprene ones. I don't really recommend metal handcuffs or gags for beginners.

If you see something kink related on TV or in the newspaper, bring it up with your husband to gauge his reaction. If he seems favorable towards the subject, suggest trying things together. Communication is very important - tell each other if something feels good or bad and have discussions afterwards about what could have been better.

Anything else you would like to know about?
06/22/2012
gsfanatic gsfanatic
Just be upfront about your interest, and slowly work into it. Cuffs are a great substitute if he's not interested in/talented at learning knots. Hairbrushes make great first paddles. If you like it, invest, since good equipment is really handy
06/22/2012
HisOneAndOnly HisOneAndOnly
Quote:
Originally posted by gsfanatic
Just be upfront about your interest, and slowly work into it. Cuffs are a great substitute if he's not interested in/talented at learning knots. Hairbrushes make great first paddles. If you like it, invest, since good equipment is really handy
I have the cuffs under control. We just use an old sheet in place of them, they are tied to the bed frame, he is pretty handy in tying knots if you ask me. He seems as if he is interested in this type of stuff, but I am just not sure how to figure out if he is truely into it. I guess I have my work cut out for me to test him and see if he is more into it than I think. Thanks for your input, it was valuable information to me.
06/22/2012
HisOneAndOnly HisOneAndOnly
Quote:
Originally posted by solitudinarian
Start off slow and maybe use some things around the house. If you're interested in spanking, for example, wooden spoons and plastic spatulas can be a cheap introduction. Be sure to read up on safety information to avoid nerve damage with bondage. ...
We do communicate about our sex life, but I wasn't sure how to start this type of a conversation with him. You have really given me some valuable information to begin the conversation. Should we consider safe words for stopping? I really think bondage could be the next best thing for us. What about nipple clamps and the other stuff that is available for bondage?
06/22/2012
Chilipepper Chilipepper
Look through the sections of EF together, read the reviews together, and talk about your impressions as they happen. Since it sounds like he's already into the lighter stuff (using household items), both of you can look through EF together and see what strikes you both.

As for the other things you've mentioned, I think establishing a safe word (because sometimes we can yell NO when we mean CARRY ON) would help so that if something gets too intense for either of you, you'd both know a time out is needed to talk it over. Nipple clamps really depend on if you like having pressure on your nipples - they really aren't for everyone unless you do like it. They're not a "have to", they're - like everything else in bondage - an option. Experiment, see what you both like, and keep what works.
06/22/2012
Izzaba Izzaba
For me a date got weird,but enjoyable. I was newly dating a guy and he wanted to play will at the time kids where at home so we hit a motel. He asked if I had ever been spanked and if I would liked to try it I enjoyed a lot and every thing he showed me. Then went on from there loving it all the way the good and bad.
06/22/2012
MistressDandelion MistressDandelion
For bondage items, use a wardrobe's belt to get tied up, I guess? Also, be upfront with your partner. They'll never know if you don't tell them.
06/22/2012
HisOneAndOnly HisOneAndOnly
Thank you to everyone who has given words of advice within this discussion. It has all been helpful.
06/23/2012
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by HisOneAndOnly
We do communicate about our sex life, but I wasn't sure how to start this type of a conversation with him. You have really given me some valuable information to begin the conversation. Should we consider safe words for stopping? I really think ...
I can tell if I'm into stuff if I fantasize about it.

I knew I was into bondage since I was young, since I thought about it when I got off. I guess that's how I knew.

For nipple clamps; do you fantasize about that kind of stimulation? Would you? You can get basic clamps for a reasonable price, try them out and then you'll know if you like them.

As for a Safe Word, I'd say it's a good idea to have one. You may never need it, but it's always good to have something to stop play in it's tracks if something hurts too much, or doesn't feel right for that day, or you get scared, or you get triggered or something. My Man is a Dom and he on occasion uses the Safe Word, when things get too intense, and he's on the giving end! I think it's important.
06/23/2012
solitudinarian solitudinarian
Quote:
Originally posted by HisOneAndOnly
We do communicate about our sex life, but I wasn't sure how to start this type of a conversation with him. You have really given me some valuable information to begin the conversation. Should we consider safe words for stopping? I really think ...
Safe words are a good idea as you are just starting out and therefore you might not have much idea about what your limits are. Pick something that you are unlikely to say in a sexual situation. You should pay attention to your partner's reactions as well, but they are a good back up.

Books like Two Knotty Boys are useful for learning the basics. It's a bonus that your husband already knows a bit about knots.

Clover clamps (or butterfly clamps as they are sometimes called) are fairly advanced. These look like a good option because there is latex covering the teeth of the clamp, plus you can adjust the pressure. Wooden clothes pins can also be a cheap alternative.

You don't really need anything fancy for a blindfold - a scarf or necktie can do the trick.

Let us know how it goes.
06/24/2012
HisOneAndOnly HisOneAndOnly
Quote:
Originally posted by solitudinarian
Safe words are a good idea as you are just starting out and therefore you might not have much idea about what your limits are. Pick something that you are unlikely to say in a sexual situation. You should pay attention to your partner's reactions ...
Thank you, will keep you posted.
06/24/2012
HisOneAndOnly HisOneAndOnly
So my partner and I had agreed to use things from around the house to experiment with the different levels of bondage! I expressed to him that I was thinking that maybe we should buy a flogger or a whip and test it out and see if it is something that we/I are interested in. I completely fell in love with the experiment that we tried last night, going to take it to another level tonight and see if I am still as into it as I think I am, then we will go from there to see if it is something we need to consider buying!!! Any ideas of other things to try?
06/25/2012
travelnurse travelnurse
Unfortunately I married a Nebraska boy who wouldn't even think of tying me up. I'm quite surprised that he actually let me use a vib on his testicles that's an improvement. He isn't too adventurous, bad for me who is willing to try anything once
06/25/2012
HisOneAndOnly HisOneAndOnly
Quote:
Originally posted by travelnurse
Unfortunately I married a Nebraska boy who wouldn't even think of tying me up. I'm quite surprised that he actually let me use a vib on his testicles that's an improvement. He isn't too adventurous, bad for me who is willing to try anything once
I am willing to try just about anything at least once in my life. I have my limits but so does my husband! I am glad the two of us have an open marriage and we are able to talk about the various toys we want to use in the bedroom! Maybe he will eventually change his mind for you! ;_)
06/25/2012
Total posts: 15
Unique posters: 8