Hello all you eden BDSM readers. So my man and I are still new to the rougher side of sex. And I've been learning a lot just by looking at some of the forums and where I've read on other sites. However, I have a question. How on earth do you use safewords when you're gaged or something of the sort. As well as how to tell them if you something is to much or to keep going? William an I have been talking about it a LOT and as much as we like what we do and we enjoy new things. We're both over analytical and I have some fears because I have past issues and he has his own worries. so we want to be sure to have a good safe system so we can play without much worry. Maybe tell me how you handle or would handle this? Thanks!
How do you use safewords when you can't speak?
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I personally would come up with a hand signal or something of the sort, such as holding up only your pinky means stop. It would be hard to do on accident and easy for him to recognize.
Originally posted by
Amelia Stone
Hello all you eden BDSM readers. So my man and I are still new to the rougher side of sex. And I've been learning a lot just by looking at some of the forums and where I've read on other sites. However, I have a question. How on earth do you use
...
Hello all you eden BDSM readers. So my man and I are still new to the rougher side of sex. And I've been learning a lot just by looking at some of the forums and where I've read on other sites. However, I have a question. How on earth do you use safewords when you're gaged or something of the sort. As well as how to tell them if you something is to much or to keep going? William an I have been talking about it a LOT and as much as we like what we do and we enjoy new things. We're both over analytical and I have some fears because I have past issues and he has his own worries. so we want to be sure to have a good safe system so we can play without much worry. Maybe tell me how you handle or would handle this? Thanks!
Feb 7, 12:28 am
Something you could drop, a bell you could ring, something you could knock on a specified number of times, a rattle, a squeaky toy type of thing, some other kind of noise maker device. A hand signal is a good idea but something that makes noise would make me feel safer because it couldn't be missed. Something you could do repeatedly would be good because then you could identify a number of times means a certain thing. Ie: if I ring the bell once keep going, twice slow down, three times stop. Maybe one of the hotel counter type bells. Whatever it is, make sure it's in your hand or where you could easily grab it if you're tied up.
Feb 7, 1:26 am
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These are all fabulous suggestions and I was going to mention a bell. That's what Daddy and I use when we're playing and I'm gagged and bound.
Originally posted by
Charletnarouh
Something you could drop, a bell you could ring, something you could knock on a specified number of times, a rattle, a squeaky toy type of thing, some other kind of noise maker device. A hand signal is a good idea but something that makes noise would
...
Something you could drop, a bell you could ring, something you could knock on a specified number of times, a rattle, a squeaky toy type of thing, some other kind of noise maker device. A hand signal is a good idea but something that makes noise would make me feel safer because it couldn't be missed. Something you could do repeatedly would be good because then you could identify a number of times means a certain thing. Ie: if I ring the bell once keep going, twice slow down, three times stop. Maybe one of the hotel counter type bells. Whatever it is, make sure it's in your hand or where you could easily grab it if you're tied up.
Feb 7, 2:02 pm
Personally, I've always used a cat toy - the little balls with the bells inside... That way, even if your wrists are bound, you're hooded, blindfolded, gagged or whatnot, you can toss or drop that toy and those bells will ring.
The two of you can decide what that will mean (pause, stop the scene immediately, etc.) - but it's a way to alert someone who otherwise might be clearly in top space and might not notice a hand gesture.
Good luck!
~TSD
The two of you can decide what that will mean (pause, stop the scene immediately, etc.) - but it's a way to alert someone who otherwise might be clearly in top space and might not notice a hand gesture.
Good luck!
~TSD
Feb 7, 8:18 pm
The cool thing about having something to drop as a safeword during bondage play, is that even if you are emotionally feeling fine your body still may need to use that safeword. If the rule is you must hold the ball/bell/whatever the whole time and your hands start to go numb, you will eventually drop the item. So even if you are feeling okay in the scene, it gives your body a way to make it's needs heard too.
Feb 8, 11:05 pm
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Well a BDSM comic I read on dA mentions humming a simple tune or something similar that's easily recognizable as a possible alternative to a safeword when you're gagged. Haven't tried it myself but it seems like it could work if you don't want to try the dropping an item or ringing a bell thing.
Originally posted by
Amelia Stone
Hello all you eden BDSM readers. So my man and I are still new to the rougher side of sex. And I've been learning a lot just by looking at some of the forums and where I've read on other sites. However, I have a question. How on earth do you use
...
Hello all you eden BDSM readers. So my man and I are still new to the rougher side of sex. And I've been learning a lot just by looking at some of the forums and where I've read on other sites. However, I have a question. How on earth do you use safewords when you're gaged or something of the sort. As well as how to tell them if you something is to much or to keep going? William an I have been talking about it a LOT and as much as we like what we do and we enjoy new things. We're both over analytical and I have some fears because I have past issues and he has his own worries. so we want to be sure to have a good safe system so we can play without much worry. Maybe tell me how you handle or would handle this? Thanks!
Feb 9, 10:21 am
The various something in your hand ideas other have give are probably best for all the reasons listed but another alternative is to have a signal based around moving your head, i.e. three firm while mumbling "nuh nun nuh" shacks means stop. btw that seems familiar to any one it is the gagged safe-word kink.com uses and that they explain before each scene.
Feb 9, 10:52 am
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Whilst being restrained in a club during a demonstration with Mistress Fenreya, she told be that because she could not hear a safeword over the music that if I wanted her attention for a safeword or a question to wiggle my fingers.
Originally posted by
Amelia Stone
Hello all you eden BDSM readers. So my man and I are still new to the rougher side of sex. And I've been learning a lot just by looking at some of the forums and where I've read on other sites. However, I have a question. How on earth do you use
...
Hello all you eden BDSM readers. So my man and I are still new to the rougher side of sex. And I've been learning a lot just by looking at some of the forums and where I've read on other sites. However, I have a question. How on earth do you use safewords when you're gaged or something of the sort. As well as how to tell them if you something is to much or to keep going? William an I have been talking about it a LOT and as much as we like what we do and we enjoy new things. We're both over analytical and I have some fears because I have past issues and he has his own worries. so we want to be sure to have a good safe system so we can play without much worry. Maybe tell me how you handle or would handle this? Thanks!
I did this once...because I was loosing feelings in my hands (I was too short for the restraint set-up and we ended up removing the restraints having me be a good girl and merely hold onto the bars in front of me as the demonstration in impact play continued.
Feb 10, 12:06 am
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This is my favorite idea by far! I've always been hesitate to play gagged because I have a history of breathing problems and the idea of having something obstructing my mouth scares me and combined with not being able to speak terrifies me. None of the other ideas, though I've explored a lot of them, ever made me feel safe enough. But the clicker idea with a wrist strap on it might actually change my mind!
Originally posted by
arduous
We actually use one of those dog clickers. The one I use has a wrist strap so I can't drop it, and it's loud enough to get his attention and easy to use.
Feb 19, 4:14 pm
Total posts:
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Unique posters: 16
Unique posters: 16