Some people play hard. Some barely graze the skin. And still others fall somewhere in between. So what about you?
How hard do you play?
I never thought I was a "hard" top (because, I like, negotiate....and then stick to what's negotiated) till I heard myself being described that way the third or fourth time. The depths of my masochism have frightened (playfully, of course) some of my more timid play partners.
What I find very interesting about the scene I'm in, is that there are a lot of people claiming to be really heavy masochists (who maybe are, or maybe aren't, depending on individual definitions of "heavy") but there's a lot more....hesitation?... at saying you're a bit of a heavy sadist. Anyways, as such, because I'm open about my sadism, I get a lot of people coming to me with specific requests for types of intense play, but they always say something like "I've been working up the courage to ask you..."
And truly, the really funny thing? I feel like such a BDSM baby compared to some tops and bottoms I've watched play. And I'm sure I'm peanuts compared to some people who will answer this poll.
So what the hell is my point? It's all really a matter of perspective!
What I find very interesting about the scene I'm in, is that there are a lot of people claiming to be really heavy masochists (who maybe are, or maybe aren't, depending on individual definitions of "heavy") but there's a lot more....hesitation?... at saying you're a bit of a heavy sadist. Anyways, as such, because I'm open about my sadism, I get a lot of people coming to me with specific requests for types of intense play, but they always say something like "I've been working up the courage to ask you..."
And truly, the really funny thing? I feel like such a BDSM baby compared to some tops and bottoms I've watched play. And I'm sure I'm peanuts compared to some people who will answer this poll.
So what the hell is my point? It's all really a matter of perspective!
08/13/2009
Oh God, I love when T hurts me. I love when he holds me down and just lays into me. It's a great release of emotion and helps me gain that relief I need from my inner turmoil. It's also a release for him, so naturally we play harder. I love when we play hard. That kind of play gives us a chance to strengthen our trust and our bond
08/14/2009
Quote:
I was abused by my father as a child, both physically and sexually, and I never thought that I would be into receiving anything rough wise. It's not for everyone, but rough play doesn't necessarily have to lead to or be grouped with abuse. Now, sometimes it does, but a lot of times it doesn't. Especially with consent.
Originally posted by
Envy
Um, if this is about being rough and hitting and such, I don't really go for that, especially since I've grown up as an abuse victim. My bf was also abused by all his previous gfs and really does not like it either. Teasing, though, is a
...
Um, if this is about being rough and hitting and such, I don't really go for that, especially since I've grown up as an abuse victim. My bf was also abused by all his previous gfs and really does not like it either. Teasing, though, is a different story.
I'm sorry to hear that you both were abused, dear, and I'm not trying to push you to play rough. I'm just stating an observation that I've made from getting involved with rough play and coming from an abused background.
08/14/2009
Quote:
It is about being rough and hitting. And, like Vieux, I'm sorry to hear you two went through that.
Originally posted by
Envy
Um, if this is about being rough and hitting and such, I don't really go for that, especially since I've grown up as an abuse victim. My bf was also abused by all his previous gfs and really does not like it either. Teasing, though, is a
...
Um, if this is about being rough and hitting and such, I don't really go for that, especially since I've grown up as an abuse victim. My bf was also abused by all his previous gfs and really does not like it either. Teasing, though, is a different story.
Something to consider, though: A lot of people, myself included, use BDSM scenes (with impact play and such) to work out the issues in their past. Acting out scenes from a memory in a controlled setting with someone you trust often has a healing effect.
I'm not suggesting you go out and try this method. Just saying that it works for some people.
And to be perfectly honest, I know more submissive and/or masochistic people who've been abused than people who lead relatively vanilla lives. Sometimes it does bring back the bad memories. But in most cases, I've found that to be a good thing in the long run.
08/14/2009
Quote:
HAHA! It's funny that you say that. I actually don't like to give off that I'm as sadistic as I am because I don't feel that it's necessary. My partner claims to be extremely masochistic, but when I pulled my exacto knife out, she went crazy and practically ran out of the room in fright.
Originally posted by
Red
I never thought I was a "hard" top (because, I like, negotiate....and then stick to what's negotiated) till I heard myself being described that way the third or fourth time. The depths of my masochism have frightened (playfully, of
...
I never thought I was a "hard" top (because, I like, negotiate....and then stick to what's negotiated) till I heard myself being described that way the third or fourth time. The depths of my masochism have frightened (playfully, of course) some of my more timid play partners.
What I find very interesting about the scene I'm in, is that there are a lot of people claiming to be really heavy masochists (who maybe are, or maybe aren't, depending on individual definitions of "heavy") but there's a lot more....hesitation?... at saying you're a bit of a heavy sadist. Anyways, as such, because I'm open about my sadism, I get a lot of people coming to me with specific requests for types of intense play, but they always say something like "I've been working up the courage to ask you..."
And truly, the really funny thing? I feel like such a BDSM baby compared to some tops and bottoms I've watched play. And I'm sure I'm peanuts compared to some people who will answer this poll.
So what the hell is my point? It's all really a matter of perspective!
What I find very interesting about the scene I'm in, is that there are a lot of people claiming to be really heavy masochists (who maybe are, or maybe aren't, depending on individual definitions of "heavy") but there's a lot more....hesitation?... at saying you're a bit of a heavy sadist. Anyways, as such, because I'm open about my sadism, I get a lot of people coming to me with specific requests for types of intense play, but they always say something like "I've been working up the courage to ask you..."
And truly, the really funny thing? I feel like such a BDSM baby compared to some tops and bottoms I've watched play. And I'm sure I'm peanuts compared to some people who will answer this poll.
So what the hell is my point? It's all really a matter of perspective!
09/15/2009
I think I would be into some humilitation, some pain but I think I would need to be trained to associate the pain to pleasure. I don't even know if thats possible. I do enjoy strong slaps on the rump but things have never gone further than that. I hope to get a few things and try to talk to my partner about playing out a scene. Hopefully I will not scare my man away, lol.
12/17/2009
dragondiva
I must say other since I don't really care to bleed but marks are okay, its kinda like a possesive thing for my master but I intentionally push him to give me every mark because I love pain. I also must add if it was not someone I trust I do not think I could enjoy it as readily, Fear of whats gonna happen next with someone you trust is very arousing, to me anyways. And its not just about the pain a heavy master doesn't have to hit if he is very good he can find other tortures such as tickling, and electo doesn't leave marks, on me anyways. And my master also rewards me if I am bruised, or scratched by my struggles which might be another reason I enjoy the rougher the better JUST NOT BLOODY.
12/23/2009
Quote:
i like heavy hitters. i don't know about "beaten bloody" but knifeplay or biting leading to bloodplay has happened in the past. i love bruises, choking, floggers, spanking, etc. Receiving. i've also played around with branding.
Originally posted by
Rayne Millaray
Some people play hard. Some barely graze the skin. And still others fall somewhere in between. So what about you?
i would say i play hard, yes. And that i enjoy it.
12/29/2009
With my late husband I liked our sex rough now & then - fight, bite, struggle to hold onto each other then hard and fast - great orgasms for both of us. It wasn't for every day sex but lots of fun when we did.
I have never wanted to be submissive to any man but now I have a new man and I want him to dominate me. I've never owned cuffs - much less use them - but I bought nice white leather wrist & ankle cuffs and I love to just wear them - I like the feel of them. I also bought two pair of Sportcuffs for him - they are less intimidating then leather with a quick release velcro closure. Also I discovered that the o-rings on them won't stand up to any thrashing. I tried them out pulling on them and was left with two unuseable "U" shaped rings. I showed them to him to ease his mind about not having any control although with a safe word I can let him loose in just a few seconds.
We aren't sexually active yet unless you count masturbating and phone sex. He is sexually inexperinced (strange because he's 46) and has never engaged in rough sex much less bondage although when just making out he will bite me if I ask.
He was leary of the Sportcuffs and downright freaked when I bought the white leather cuffs. He did say he'd rather tie me up in bed rather that use the new door jam cuffs (more new Sportsheets) so that's a good sign but he doesn't have a clue what to do once I'm tied up. I hope he'll let me restrain him first. This will give him some ideas - I hope. I'd like to show him some of my toys and how I like them to be used. More ideas for him. Ought to rent 9 1/2 weeks to watch together. More ideas.
Eventually I hope he will become comfortable enough to spank me; I never tried that either but I want it from him.
All very new to me but I want to try this. Any suggestions on how to ease the man's mind and get him in the bed would be very much appreciated!
I have never wanted to be submissive to any man but now I have a new man and I want him to dominate me. I've never owned cuffs - much less use them - but I bought nice white leather wrist & ankle cuffs and I love to just wear them - I like the feel of them. I also bought two pair of Sportcuffs for him - they are less intimidating then leather with a quick release velcro closure. Also I discovered that the o-rings on them won't stand up to any thrashing. I tried them out pulling on them and was left with two unuseable "U" shaped rings. I showed them to him to ease his mind about not having any control although with a safe word I can let him loose in just a few seconds.
We aren't sexually active yet unless you count masturbating and phone sex. He is sexually inexperinced (strange because he's 46) and has never engaged in rough sex much less bondage although when just making out he will bite me if I ask.
He was leary of the Sportcuffs and downright freaked when I bought the white leather cuffs. He did say he'd rather tie me up in bed rather that use the new door jam cuffs (more new Sportsheets) so that's a good sign but he doesn't have a clue what to do once I'm tied up. I hope he'll let me restrain him first. This will give him some ideas - I hope. I'd like to show him some of my toys and how I like them to be used. More ideas for him. Ought to rent 9 1/2 weeks to watch together. More ideas.
Eventually I hope he will become comfortable enough to spank me; I never tried that either but I want it from him.
All very new to me but I want to try this. Any suggestions on how to ease the man's mind and get him in the bed would be very much appreciated!
03/30/2010
When I do like it rough its just with a toy or my husaband going hard or fast. Every know and then I dont mind it were its so deep and legs spread so far apart it hurts in the morning but thats rare. He knows not to spank me and we dont do that chains or wips or anything. Ile do a strap on for him but he doesnt like the larger dildos, anal plugs, etc.
But even after all that if I say stop or he says stop or make a hint to stop no matter how much I may like it I will or he likes it he will do it for me.....he knows how i moan and if its more of a scream he should slow down unless I say otherwise
But even after all that if I say stop or he says stop or make a hint to stop no matter how much I may like it I will or he likes it he will do it for me.....he knows how i moan and if its more of a scream he should slow down unless I say otherwise
06/23/2010
