How hard do you play?

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How hard do you play?

Rayne Millaray Rayne Millaray
Some people play hard. Some barely graze the skin. And still others fall somewhere in between. So what about you?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
I'm a heavy hitter. You might not have skin left. Srsly.
27
I like heavy hitters. Chain me up and beat me bloody! Please?
55
I'll pass on heavy hitters, please and thank you.
50
I'm don't *really* want to hurt my play thing. That's just silly.
91
I'm so middle of the road you'd swear I had blinders on.
50
I wish someone would play with me so I could find out!!
53
Other (Please explain)
36
Total votes: 362 (291 voters)
Poll is closed
08/13/2009
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Sugar Pirate Sugar Pirate
I have to say "other" because while I'm not into someone whipping permanent stripes into my curves and crevices... I'm not bending over with blinders either. I like a good firm hand but no permanent marks.
08/13/2009
Red Red
I never thought I was a "hard" top (because, I like, negotiate....and then stick to what's negotiated) till I heard myself being described that way the third or fourth time. The depths of my masochism have frightened (playfully, of course) some of my more timid play partners.

What I find very interesting about the scene I'm in, is that there are a lot of people claiming to be really heavy masochists (who maybe are, or maybe aren't, depending on individual definitions of "heavy") but there's a lot more....hesitation?... at saying you're a bit of a heavy sadist. Anyways, as such, because I'm open about my sadism, I get a lot of people coming to me with specific requests for types of intense play, but they always say something like "I've been working up the courage to ask you..."

And truly, the really funny thing? I feel like such a BDSM baby compared to some tops and bottoms I've watched play. And I'm sure I'm peanuts compared to some people who will answer this poll.

So what the hell is my point? It's all really a matter of perspective!
08/13/2009
VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
Oh God, I love when T hurts me. I love when he holds me down and just lays into me. It's a great release of emotion and helps me gain that relief I need from my inner turmoil. It's also a release for him, so naturally we play harder. I love when we play hard. That kind of play gives us a chance to strengthen our trust and our bond
08/14/2009
Envy Envy
Um, if this is about being rough and hitting and such, I don't really go for that, especially since I've grown up as an abuse victim. My bf was also abused by all his previous gfs and really does not like it either. Teasing, though, is a different story.
08/14/2009
VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
Quote:
Originally posted by Envy
Um, if this is about being rough and hitting and such, I don't really go for that, especially since I've grown up as an abuse victim. My bf was also abused by all his previous gfs and really does not like it either. Teasing, though, is a ...
I was abused by my father as a child, both physically and sexually, and I never thought that I would be into receiving anything rough wise. It's not for everyone, but rough play doesn't necessarily have to lead to or be grouped with abuse. Now, sometimes it does, but a lot of times it doesn't. Especially with consent.

I'm sorry to hear that you both were abused, dear, and I'm not trying to push you to play rough. I'm just stating an observation that I've made from getting involved with rough play and coming from an abused background.
08/14/2009
Rayne Millaray Rayne Millaray
Quote:
Originally posted by Envy
Um, if this is about being rough and hitting and such, I don't really go for that, especially since I've grown up as an abuse victim. My bf was also abused by all his previous gfs and really does not like it either. Teasing, though, is a ...
It is about being rough and hitting. And, like Vieux, I'm sorry to hear you two went through that.

Something to consider, though: A lot of people, myself included, use BDSM scenes (with impact play and such) to work out the issues in their past. Acting out scenes from a memory in a controlled setting with someone you trust often has a healing effect.

I'm not suggesting you go out and try this method. Just saying that it works for some people.

And to be perfectly honest, I know more submissive and/or masochistic people who've been abused than people who lead relatively vanilla lives. Sometimes it does bring back the bad memories. But in most cases, I've found that to be a good thing in the long run.
08/14/2009
Maiden Maiden
Quote:
Originally posted by Sugar Pirate
I have to say "other" because while I'm not into someone whipping permanent stripes into my curves and crevices... I'm not bending over with blinders either. I like a good firm hand but no permanent marks.
This is how I feel as well!
08/25/2009
Luscious Lily Luscious Lily
We're very much BDSM babies. We're still learning what we like, but so far anything that truly hurts is off limits. We may work up to it some day, but right now? We'll both pass on the heavy hitting, please and thank you!
08/26/2009
Backseat Boohoo Backseat Boohoo
I wasn't sure how to vote on this. I don't like bleeding, bruising, or having the ever lovin' shit knocked out of me. That being said, I really don't think of choking and slapping on the face, etcetera, as "soft" activities, even by BDSM standards.
08/26/2009
spicywife spicywife
I doubt we'll ever like heavy hitting, but crisp playful slaps with a bit of sting are all good.
09/15/2009
Sir Sir
I'm very firm and sometimes will hurt my little girl where she ends up making a big fuss, but not to the point of having any permanent scarring (though I have been thinking about branding her lately).
09/15/2009
Sir Sir
Quote:
Originally posted by Red
I never thought I was a "hard" top (because, I like, negotiate....and then stick to what's negotiated) till I heard myself being described that way the third or fourth time. The depths of my masochism have frightened (playfully, of ...
HAHA! It's funny that you say that. I actually don't like to give off that I'm as sadistic as I am because I don't feel that it's necessary. My partner claims to be extremely masochistic, but when I pulled my exacto knife out, she went crazy and practically ran out of the room in fright.
09/15/2009
Miss Jane Miss Jane
I voted 'other' because while I like it quite rough, I've met plenty of people who like it a lot rougher than I. I'm on that outer edge but don't want scars/lots of blood
10/30/2009
El-Jaro El-Jaro
I'm not so much into hitting/slapping, but biting, growling, and clawing are all totally fine with me (less so with skin breaking)
11/03/2009
lexical lexical
I love heavy play, but dislike blood, so I chose "Other", rather than "I like heavy hitters".
11/07/2009
Domineight Domineight
I am into pretty heavy play but not in the pain department. I think people often forget the B&D in BDSM. I am into pretty heavy humiliation and degradation, but only specific kinds of pain.
12/10/2009
Naughty Student Naughty Student
I think I would be into some humilitation, some pain but I think I would need to be trained to associate the pain to pleasure. I don't even know if thats possible. I do enjoy strong slaps on the rump but things have never gone further than that. I hope to get a few things and try to talk to my partner about playing out a scene. Hopefully I will not scare my man away, lol.
12/17/2009
DELETED DELETED
Quote:
Originally posted by Rayne Millaray
Some people play hard. Some barely graze the skin. And still others fall somewhere in between. So what about you?
I've had a few bruises on my ass
12/23/2009
dragondiva dragondiva
I must say other since I don't really care to bleed but marks are okay, its kinda like a possesive thing for my master but I intentionally push him to give me every mark because I love pain. I also must add if it was not someone I trust I do not think I could enjoy it as readily, Fear of whats gonna happen next with someone you trust is very arousing, to me anyways. And its not just about the pain a heavy master doesn't have to hit if he is very good he can find other tortures such as tickling, and electo doesn't leave marks, on me anyways. And my master also rewards me if I am bruised, or scratched by my struggles which might be another reason I enjoy the rougher the better JUST NOT BLOODY.
12/23/2009
Atargatis Atargatis
Quote:
Originally posted by Rayne Millaray
Some people play hard. Some barely graze the skin. And still others fall somewhere in between. So what about you?
i like heavy hitters. i don't know about "beaten bloody" but knifeplay or biting leading to bloodplay has happened in the past. i love bruises, choking, floggers, spanking, etc. Receiving. i've also played around with branding.

i would say i play hard, yes. And that i enjoy it.
12/29/2009
~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
I'm don't *really* want to hurt my play thing. That's just silly.
03/29/2010
Miss Cinnamon Miss Cinnamon
Absolutely no broken skin in my book. No marks that keep overnight. Sometimes it happens (I don't bruise THAT easily, but I do bruise, and claw marks...happen) and I just get vaguely annoyed and pleased at the same time. If bleeding ensues though? Nuh-uh, no thanks.
03/29/2010
Liz2 Liz2
I like to play hard...relative term, but my b/f is concerned about hurting me and so holds back. I'm not into drawing blood (mine) but red welts are welcome on my butt. I see BDSM as a finesse kind of play that takes practice, trust and patience.
03/29/2010
UsaBoxBabe UsaBoxBabe
With my late husband I liked our sex rough now & then - fight, bite, struggle to hold onto each other then hard and fast - great orgasms for both of us. It wasn't for every day sex but lots of fun when we did.

I have never wanted to be submissive to any man but now I have a new man and I want him to dominate me. I've never owned cuffs - much less use them - but I bought nice white leather wrist & ankle cuffs and I love to just wear them - I like the feel of them. I also bought two pair of Sportcuffs for him - they are less intimidating then leather with a quick release velcro closure. Also I discovered that the o-rings on them won't stand up to any thrashing. I tried them out pulling on them and was left with two unuseable "U" shaped rings. I showed them to him to ease his mind about not having any control although with a safe word I can let him loose in just a few seconds.

We aren't sexually active yet unless you count masturbating and phone sex. He is sexually inexperinced (strange because he's 46) and has never engaged in rough sex much less bondage although when just making out he will bite me if I ask.

He was leary of the Sportcuffs and downright freaked when I bought the white leather cuffs. He did say he'd rather tie me up in bed rather that use the new door jam cuffs (more new Sportsheets) so that's a good sign but he doesn't have a clue what to do once I'm tied up. I hope he'll let me restrain him first. This will give him some ideas - I hope. I'd like to show him some of my toys and how I like them to be used. More ideas for him. Ought to rent 9 1/2 weeks to watch together. More ideas.

Eventually I hope he will become comfortable enough to spank me; I never tried that either but I want it from him.

All very new to me but I want to try this. Any suggestions on how to ease the man's mind and get him in the bed would be very much appreciated!
03/30/2010
usmcwife99 usmcwife99
When I do like it rough its just with a toy or my husaband going hard or fast. Every know and then I dont mind it were its so deep and legs spread so far apart it hurts in the morning but thats rare. He knows not to spank me and we dont do that chains or wips or anything. Ile do a strap on for him but he doesnt like the larger dildos, anal plugs, etc.

But even after all that if I say stop or he says stop or make a hint to stop no matter how much I may like it I will or he likes it he will do it for me.....he knows how i moan and if its more of a scream he should slow down unless I say otherwise
06/23/2010
Blinker Blinker
My boy and I play rough and then we cuddle and kiss each other's bruises and scratches. It's pleasurable pain in a safe zone and we both know our limits and know when to stop.
07/04/2010
Alicia Alicia
We don't really play rough, for us we like mild restraints and sometimes some spanking or control play, but that's about where it ends with us. We'll have "rough" play but only in the sense of going hard and fast, and I guess some grabbing but that's about it. We're very very mild.
07/05/2010
PassionQT PassionQT
I don't want to inflict pain on anyone, but if my partner said "slap me" because it turns him on, I would.
07/27/2010
Midway through Midway through
It kinda depends on what they can take really. Although I will say, I don't like doing any sort of damage that lasts more than a few days, and, I don't like breaking skin into open wounds. Talk about sanitation problems
07/28/2010
Total posts: 120
Unique posters: 113