How to introduce myself and my partner to light BDSM?

LaLaLouise LaLaLouise
I've been trying to think of new little things to try with my sweetie and since joining EF and being exposed to all of this information, I'm a bit overwhelmed. Please keep in mind that neither I nor he are heavily into the dom/sub fantasy or roles. We have on occasion played with tieing up, he likes a little biting, I like having my hair pulled a little. What would be an easy, not terribly intimidating thing to explore? I'm looking more for teasing and sensory deprivation/new sensations than pain or dominance.
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
Tieing up/handcuffs
AvianMinded , SaraU29 , unfulfilled , 131231e43 , (k)InkyIvy , LavenderSkies , JackRaiden , Asmoothguy2011 , Bignuf , Stinkytofu10 , vanillaSpice , higs , thisisadeletedaccount , SF , hall5885 , xcapricax , Gdom , Trixxxy , bratcat , humblepie , kkybf , kanida
22
Light Spanking
briluminary , ily , A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople) , Princess-Kayla ♥ , angel142stx , Collogue , (k)InkyIvy , geliebt , LavenderSkies , JackRaiden , sweetiejo , elli , marriedlady123 , pinkcupcakes , amazon , Stinkytofu10 , mpfm , vanillaSpice , thisisadeletedaccount , Stagger13 , SF , Cowgirl-Cutie , hall5885 , fizzygato , Gdom , bratcat , humblepie , Violet October , kkybf , misterazor , kanida
31
Shock Therapy
Other (please give other suggestion in your comments, I'm really clueless!)
freakincage , emiliaa , marche , ily , sugar and spice , ElleBee , KaraSutra , unfulfilled , Amelia Stone , Gdom , humblepie , novanilla
12
Total votes: 65 (48 voters)
Poll is closed
08/11/2011
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emiliaa emiliaa
I don't think that there's a specific thing that is best for everyone who is new to it or whatever. ^^ If you like tying up, then start with that. Just go at your own pace and don't make a huge deal out of it and you should have a lot of funnnn.
08/12/2011
freakincage freakincage
My wife was not into it at all when we first got together. We started with the under the bed restrain system that we bought from here and it works great. We also use a blindfold with it. But to be on the safe side we use a safe word just in case. my wife has more about it on her blog link you can read about it there. But that is a good place to start
08/12/2011
sugar and spice sugar and spice
I would say use a blindfold and try things that your partner would not expect and won't be able to see. Run an ice cube down his body. A very light whip alternated with a feather to keep him on edge, not knowing what he will feel next. Maybe use some warming lube. Have fun!
08/14/2011
ElleBee ElleBee
Quote:
Originally posted by sugar and spice
I would say use a blindfold and try things that your partner would not expect and won't be able to see. Run an ice cube down his body. A very light whip alternated with a feather to keep him on edge, not knowing what he will feel next. Maybe ... More
Yes! I was just about to recommend this, too.
08/14/2011
Princess-Kayla ♥ Princess-Kayla ♥
One time my boyfriend asked if I had any fetishes, and I said handcuffs. And it just went off from there. He started spanking me. And he just recently discovered that I like choking.
But I think you should just start it off slow. A little spanking maybe. Some handcuffs. Harder biting maybe.
08/15/2011
AvianMinded AvianMinded
Quote:
Originally posted by LaLaLouise
I've been trying to think of new little things to try with my sweetie and since joining EF and being exposed to all of this information, I'm a bit overwhelmed. Please keep in mind that neither I nor he are heavily into the dom/sub fantasy or ... More
Tying each other up is a good start. You might try watching some porn together, or try writing him a sexy story from one of your own fantasies. Ask him what he liked or disliked about it and work from there. (If you don't watch porn together you may want to ease into this conversation as well)

With sensory deprivation you might try using music. Have him make a playlist of his top 10 favorite songs right now. Gently tie him down, place headphones over his ears and blind fold him. Oral is especially great this way, so be sure to ask him to return the favor.
08/15/2011
LaLaLouise LaLaLouise
Quote:
Originally posted by AvianMinded
Tying each other up is a good start. You might try watching some porn together, or try writing him a sexy story from one of your own fantasies. Ask him what he liked or disliked about it and work from there. (If you don't watch porn together you ... More
Ok, so I officially LOVE this idea! Thanks everyone for your suggestions!!
08/16/2011
Collogue Collogue
Quote:
Originally posted by LaLaLouise
I've been trying to think of new little things to try with my sweetie and since joining EF and being exposed to all of this information, I'm a bit overwhelmed. Please keep in mind that neither I nor he are heavily into the dom/sub fantasy or ... More
you can also try dirty talk, blindfolds with light bondage (think silk ties, scarves, and handkerchiefs rather than handcuffs). a wartenberg pinwheel might be fun, a feather tickler, or something soft and suede for sensory play
01/08/2012
geliebt geliebt
I think spanking could be a good choice, but really it's important to do whatever turns you guys on! Play around and find something you enjoy.
01/12/2012
LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
Quote:
Originally posted by Collogue
you can also try dirty talk, blindfolds with light bondage (think silk ties, scarves, and handkerchiefs rather than handcuffs). a wartenberg pinwheel might be fun, a feather tickler, or something soft and suede for sensory play
Great ideas
01/28/2012
sweetiejo sweetiejo
You could always make it a bet or hint at it. I did that with my guy. I told him bet you couldn't pin me down, and went from there and that seemed to work well for us.
01/29/2012
Amelia Stone Amelia Stone
Either of the first two would work really well. So many people have given good ideas on here. Really it's all up you and your sweetie. Talk about it and make it fun.
01/29/2012
marriedlady123 marriedlady123
Quote:
Originally posted by LavenderSkies
Great ideas
I agree, a little light spanking is the kind of thing that can just happen during sex
01/07/2013
amazon amazon
Movies
01/07/2013
Stinkytofu10 Stinkytofu10
Quote:
Originally posted by LaLaLouise
I've been trying to think of new little things to try with my sweetie and since joining EF and being exposed to all of this information, I'm a bit overwhelmed. Please keep in mind that neither I nor he are heavily into the dom/sub fantasy or ... More
Simple tieing up and spanking.
01/07/2013
vanillaSpice vanillaSpice
Light bondage - just the hands or legs, maybe with a soft pair of cuffs - combined with a blindfold, maybe, from what you're asking for? A blindfold can make a huge difference if you combine it with bondage and some light sensation play.
01/08/2013
higs higs
Start with what you think you might like. Clearly one of you had a fetish in mind. Just do a light version of it, and it'll work itself from there
01/08/2013
Stagger13 Stagger13
Quote:
Originally posted by LaLaLouise
I've been trying to think of new little things to try with my sweetie and since joining EF and being exposed to all of this information, I'm a bit overwhelmed. Please keep in mind that neither I nor he are heavily into the dom/sub fantasy or ... More
Talk to your partner and see where they stand.
01/08/2013
xcapricax xcapricax
Cuffs are always a good start.
01/09/2013
fizzygato fizzygato
Spanking seems easy.

Just be sure to avoid hitting certain areas/ too hard (i.e. avoid kidneys, like with flogging, although I kind of can't imagine doing too much damage with slaps anyway)

I would say cuffs, but worry a little about safety scissors, checking on pulse, etc.

Pretty much just try to remember safety if that is what you and your partner want, when you're beginning
01/10/2013
marriedlady123 marriedlady123
Quote:
Originally posted by geliebt
I think spanking could be a good choice, but really it's important to do whatever turns you guys on! Play around and find something you enjoy.
I think that it is a good start too...a little vanilla but fun!
01/17/2013
Gdom Gdom
A lot of other people have given some really great suggestions, so I'll just cover a couple of other options that haven't been mentioned yet.

First, depending on your preferences, you could try name-calling (some "light humiliation play," if you will). This is really just an extension of dirty talking and it can be as vanilla or extreme as you like ("slut," "whore," "bitch," and so on). Again, this totally might not be your thing (or his thing), but if you think you might like it, go ahead and give it a try after discussing boundaries with your partner.

Second, wax play is another relatively light BDSM activity that can be a lot of fun. If done correctly--with pure paraffin wax candles dripped from the correct height--it shouldn't really be painful, it'll be a really neat sensation, and it'll look great. You could even combine this with a few of the sensation- and temperature-play ideas mentioned by other posters for a great experience, switching back and forth between ice and hot wax.

I hope that helps! Even if you decide against trying either of those ideas, I hope you have a great time with your intro to BDSM!
01/20/2013
novanilla novanilla
Whatever you would most want to try out of these, and whatever your partner is most enthusiastic about, but spanking and handcuffs are both things vanilla couples do too.
01/28/2013
kkybf kkybf
If you're just starting out, i'd suggest waiting a bit before you get into the heavy stuff, like electricity
01/28/2013
misterazor misterazor
Quote:
Originally posted by LaLaLouise
I've been trying to think of new little things to try with my sweetie and since joining EF and being exposed to all of this information, I'm a bit overwhelmed. Please keep in mind that neither I nor he are heavily into the dom/sub fantasy or ... More
spanking is a good one. it's not terribly out there, but does knock down some fences as far as finding your confidence goes. sometimes you don't know how your partner will react until you do it. so, do it. ease your way into things...and don't go too far too fast. save some things for your thirties!
01/29/2013
Total posts: 26
Unique posters: 24