If you are a steady Dom(me) or a heavy Sub (meaning you [italic}don't] Switch) does the Sub in your relationship EVER penetrate their Dom?

  • Get a Free Rabbit Vibe with Orders $59+

If you are a steady Dom(me) or a heavy Sub (meaning you [italic}don't] Switch) does the Sub in your relationship EVER penetrate their Dom?

P'Gell P'Gell
Some of us have a Dom/Sub relationship, either full time, or mostly in the bedroom, and penetration is usually a very important part of sexual play. If you are a Sub, do you ever penetrate your Dom[me) in any way? If you are a Dom(me) do you EVER let your Sub penetrate you. If so, how? (anally,vaginally, orally. On your terms only? Only if you demand if from your sub?) If not, why do you feel this way?

There are NO "right answers." Every relationship is as different as the people in it. I am just curious, that's all.

Yeah, your names will be posted. (A little Devil Emoticon would work WELL right now.)
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
I'm the Female Dominant member of our relationship(s) and I NEVER allow penetration from my Sub
Shiloh
1
I am the Female Dominant member of our relationship(s) and I occasionally allow penetration from my sub
Shiloh , KnK , Destri
3
I am the Female Domme and I usually allow some penetration from my sub (describe, if you like)
Kayla , Shiloh , BethanyLynn , Lady Marmelade , danila , Sex'и'Violence , CoffeeCup
7
I'm the Male Dom and I NEVER allow my sub to penetrate me
Sir , gsfanatic
2
I'm the Male Dom and I occasionally allow my sub to penetrate me (describe)
I'm the Male Dom and I usually allow my sub to penetrate me (describe, if you want)
dv8
1
I'm the Female sub and I NEVER penetrate my Dom
P'Gell , oohlookasquirrel , Carrie Ann , Red Vinyl Kitty , Persephone Nightmare , Shiloh , J's Alley , Shellz31 , Taylor , MaryExy
10
I'm the Female sub and I am occasionally allowed to penetrate my Dom (please describe what kind)
VieuxCarre , silversnowleopardess
2
I'm the Female sub and I am usually allowed to penetrate my Dom (please describe what kind, is it always on the Dom's terms etc))
Madeira , Miss Madeline , potstickers , jc123 , charletnarouh
5
Of course other.....(I know Switches do this all the time, but I'm more looking for situations where the roles DON'T change)
Not here , Jenniae09 , DeliciousSurprise , Liz2 , LostBoy988 , Boyqueen , ghalik , LavenderSkies
8
I'm a Switch and I don't get the whole "hard D/S" thing, (I mean this nicely)
Gunsmoke , vanillaSpice , Xavier7 , ghalik
4
Total votes: 43 (39 voters)
Poll is closed
09/08/2010
  • Buy 3 Items for $70
  • Buy 3 Items for $50
  • Buy 3 Items for $30
  • Save 20% on Luxury Toys
  • Add Some Buzz To Your Favourite Toy & Save 60% On Kit
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
All promotions
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
For my partner and I, sex is about intimacy and tension release. The whole dom-sub thing seems to involve a much more intense - tension creating atmosphere. I completely get how this can result in extreme pleasure when release of the heightened tension is resolved - but we're not into working that hard!
09/08/2010
Not here Not here
I would consider myself somewhat of a switch, but my man is mostly the Dom, and I'm mostly the sub. It's not set in stone, so I didn't vote that I'm the sub, however. We both prefer it as him being the Dom and me the sub, but we switch it up on occasion.

As for penetrating my man, that would never happen. He doesn't find it "gay" or anything, he just doesn't like the idea at all. He says that it would get very messy if that ever happened, and I can't help but believe him, because I know how he is. (I won't go into the gory details)

Even if he wanted me to stick a finger up there one day, I really don't see him wanting to be penetrated with a toy of any sort. I'm totally okay with this, so it works for us.
09/08/2010
Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
Our lack of male penetration play is complete but has nothing to do with the power structure of our relationship. He just doesn't like being the receiver of butt sex, mostly for medical reasons. He has IBS and has trouble thinking of his butt as anything but a poop producer.
09/08/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Not here
I would consider myself somewhat of a switch, but my man is mostly the Dom, and I'm mostly the sub. It's not set in stone, so I didn't vote that I'm the sub, however. We both prefer it as him being the Dom and me the sub, but we ...
I understand. For us, it's part the Power Dynamic and part, he just doesn't like his anus messed with. No, he doesn't associate it with "gay" either, he just isn't into it. He likes his butt cheeks played with, to a point, but NO penetration. And, in our Dynamic, penetration is a Male/Dom thing.

Mileage and all that.
09/08/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
Our lack of male penetration play is complete but has nothing to do with the power structure of our relationship. He just doesn't like being the receiver of butt sex, mostly for medical reasons. He has IBS and has trouble thinking of his butt ...
So, it's more a medical issue.

I have had IBS pretty badly, but we took it slowly and just as Tristan Taromino said, it actually helped some. But, up until a few years ago, I wouldn't have even have allowed it done to myself, anally, because I thought it would start a whole round of IBS symptoms. And, who knows, my IBS was worse years ago, back then, it may well have made it worse. We only started with anal sex after the IBS was under better control

Again, mileage and what ever y'alls like.
09/08/2010
Kayla Kayla
I'm a female Dominant, and it's a confusing issue. Since males come with a thing intended to penetrate, it's hard to find a way to make that more "submissive" because no matter what you do, he's still penetrating. But if he didn't, I'd never ever have sex. I do end up doing a lot of pegging with him as well, but it's more of the vaginal sex that is the half-issue here.

A local kink group recommended that I cover his penis in vet wrap so he can't feel it. WTF? What's the point of having sex then?
09/08/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Kayla
I'm a female Dominant, and it's a confusing issue. Since males come with a thing intended to penetrate, it's hard to find a way to make that more "submissive" because no matter what you do, he's still penetrating. But if he ...
That's what I was kind of thinking when the woman is the Domme. I mean, I would imagine you WANT PIV sex, too. For me to penetrate My Man would be High Crimes and Treason, but I think most Femme Dommes enjoy a good fuck, too.

Cover his penis in Vet Wrap? Is that Dom behavior, or is it just mean? (Glad you decided not to do it.....more than maybe just once....) I think it might hurt both of you, that stuff is totally waterproof.

I do think there's a different dynamic when the woman is the Domme. At least when I comes to penetration.

That's one of the reasons I posed the question, and put gender in the responses.

Thanks Mistress.
09/08/2010
Liz2 Liz2
I'm a switch but in a Dom role, I do not penetrate him but I do so in strap-on play, outside of BDSM. With my g/f we switch roles and the Dom penetrates. As a sub, I like to be just taken.
09/08/2010
Sir Sir
Quote:
Originally posted by Kayla
I'm a female Dominant, and it's a confusing issue. Since males come with a thing intended to penetrate, it's hard to find a way to make that more "submissive" because no matter what you do, he's still penetrating. But if he ...
Easy way of making it more of a submissive act: don't allow him to move and use him for yourself. Move him inside of you as opposed to allowing him to move in you.

And, honestly, I do not find penetration to be a dominating act. He's doing you a service by giving himself to you, no? So maybe think of it that way and it'll be alright?

And yeah, I don't know the point of that AT ALL...
09/08/2010
Kayla Kayla
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
That's what I was kind of thinking when the woman is the Domme. I mean, I would imagine you WANT PIV sex, too. For me to penetrate My Man would be High Crimes and Treason, but I think most Femme Dommes enjoy a good fuck, too.

Cover his ...
Yeah, it is a different dynamic. And you're supposed to put a Magnum condom over the Vet Wrap so he can't feel anything. Or it was also suggested that I make him wear a hollow dildo so he can't feel anything else.

That seems to take all of the intimacy out of it. Yes, it's BDSM and he's my slave, but I want to share that with him - especially since he's my boyfriend too. I suppose looking at it as him surrending his body to my every use works best.

I should do a woman-on-top for Dominance sake (and he prefers it), but I'm usually lazy, so it's normally missionary. Boring me.
09/08/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Kayla
Yeah, it is a different dynamic. And you're supposed to put a Magnum condom over the Vet Wrap so he can't feel anything. Or it was also suggested that I make him wear a hollow dildo so he can't feel anything else.

That seems to ...
OOO, I Magnum OVER the Vet Wrap? A hollow dil? I don't get it. My Man is Dom and he completely wants to give me pleasure as much as I want to give it to him, whether he's penetrating or whatever. I'm his sub, but he loves me.

Yeah, I do think that in a lot of cases, a man being the Dom has more reason to not want to be penetrated. (Very un-PC, but then I think a lot of people probably think the whole D/s thing is. {Shrug} It makes no difference to me what people think.) I could be wrong, but there's something more submissive about anal sex than there is about being the receiver of vaginal intercourse. I mean, sometimes. There are times when the receiver of PIV sex can be very submissive. Or not, depending again, on the situation and the dynamic.

Mistress, you and your bf are having PIV intercourse, and he's trussed up, or still or simply in a Sub mind set, or whatever works for you two. I can't really think like a Domme, (not a Switch by a long shot, just a bratty, sneaky "Topper from the Bottom" some of the time) but I know I'd be doing the same thing you are.

Anyway, I'm just interested in what works for people. I don't ever think there's "right way" or a "wrong way" to do whatever Power Dynamic you and your partner are in.

The poll is pretty much turning out the way I thought it would. Male Doms aren't being penetrated, Femme Doms are (on Their terms, Mistress ) Subs usually wouldn't think of penetrating etc.

Don't have any feed back from same sex couples though, (I don't think) that is going to be interesting also. (I didn't leave a specific for that, but it could be included in the thread.) Interesting stuff, indeed.
09/08/2010
paralax paralax
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Some of us have a Dom/Sub relationship, either full time, or mostly in the bedroom, and penetration is usually a very important part of sexual play. If you are a Sub, do you ever penetrate your Dom[me) in any way? If you are a Dom(me) do you EVER let ...
im a switch and so is my partner. he like getting pegged and i like doing it to him. but i don't finish that way. when its my turn i turn sub in a way. im still pretty dom in telling him what he is doing right and where to go, but i like to feel weak with him then. it goes back and forth. it also good to let out aggression and frustration.
09/08/2010
VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
He's not my Dom (hopefully he will be), but I voted that option because it works best. We discussed him exploring prostate massage and such so there might be an opportunity for me to penetrate him. However, that was only brought up once, but the possibility is there.
09/08/2010
silversnowleopardess silversnowleopardess
I'm the sub, but I am still allowed to anally penetrate my husband when he wants it. I don't see it as me dominating him at all, I'm serving him and taking care of his needs. That I'm taking care of mine at the same time is icing on the cake.
09/13/2010
Sir Sir
I completely forgot to even respond to this since I was responding to Miss Kay. HAHA!!!

Yes, I am a male Dominant and I do not allow partners to penetrate me. If I'm with a man, however, they TECHNICALLY can penetrate me orally (because I love to give head), but aside from that, nothing else. It's not because of the power exchange - it's simply the fact that it doesn't pleasure me. I love to be doing the movements, and that's what gets me off. If I was with a woman and she was fond of wearing a prosthetic, I'd give her head too, but no penetration aside from that.
09/13/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
I completely forgot to even respond to this since I was responding to Miss Kay. HAHA!!!

Yes, I am a male Dominant and I do not allow partners to penetrate me. If I'm with a man, however, they TECHNICALLY can penetrate me orally (because I ...
'bout damn time, I was waiting for your answer.... (taps little foot impatiently)
09/13/2010
UrNaughtyaAngel UrNaughtyaAngel
Another interesting read for me.
09/14/2010
Sir Sir
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
'bout damn time, I was waiting for your answer.... (taps little foot impatiently)
HAHA!! Well, there you go!
09/14/2010
Madeira Madeira
I'm the bottom half of a lesbian D/s couple. I'm a definite sub, I wear a collar, I never ever top in bed with my domme. I am usually allowed to penetrate her when we have sex, using fingers, a dildo, etc. I did once use a strap on on her, and she didn't enjoy it very much and frankly it was rather awkward for me too, so now she's the only one who wears the strap on.
09/18/2010
KnK KnK
It depends. I usually never let him penetrate me, except with his fingers. It depends on my mood. I like to taunt him and tie him up and have him watch me pleasure myself. Usually I call all the shots. If his penis is anywhere, it's because I'm usually because I've decided to handle it, or suck it. It's rare when I let him penetrate me with his penis. I'm usually on top.
11/24/2010
Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
Quote:
Originally posted by silversnowleopardess
I'm the sub, but I am still allowed to anally penetrate my husband when he wants it. I don't see it as me dominating him at all, I'm serving him and taking care of his needs. That I'm taking care of mine at the same time is icing on the cake.
We are the same way, except I am not always a heavy sub (I think I would like to identify as a switch -even though he is ALWAYS is control. Does that make any sense? So I am not sure where I fit in as far as an answer). My husband is exploring prostate massage and I feel I can serve him in that way too.
01/20/2011
qqqqqqqqqqqq qqqqqqqqqqqq
I do not see an option for me. I am a male sub. I enjoy subbing almost exclusively. I take the dom role willingly when I see myself as more experienced than the person that I am with. If I am with someone whom I see as more experienced than me, I will still dom, but only for their pleasure. I do not enjoy domming someone who I see as more experienced.
01/21/2011
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by Redboxbaby
We are the same way, except I am not always a heavy sub (I think I would like to identify as a switch -even though he is ALWAYS is control. Does that make any sense? So I am not sure where I fit in as far as an answer). My husband is exploring ...
If you're going to be pegging him soon - you'll have to put your dom hat for a while!
01/21/2011
vanillaSpice vanillaSpice
Not into the whole D/s thing much personally, but from what I've heard, if the Dom(me) enjoys penetration they find a way to make it work.
01/23/2011
Destri Destri
Penetration for me is rare, but it does happen. I am the Domme, he is my slave. Mostly we just masturbate at the same time if we are just looking for release.
01/23/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Destri
Penetration for me is rare, but it does happen. I am the Domme, he is my slave. Mostly we just masturbate at the same time if we are just looking for release.
Yeah, we've talked about this earlier on the thread; how it's different if you are a Female Domme. It's often difficult to eliminate penetration, as many don't see it as as much as a "sub" action as penetrating a male bodied or male-identified Dom.

But, it varies from each situation and relationship, as we can see from the thread.

I find these different dynamics of power exchange very interesting.
01/31/2011
Sex'и'Violence Sex'и'Violence
I let my hubby penetrate me on occasion but I usually prefer him using toy on me.
07/15/2011
LostBoy988 LostBoy988
I'm a switch and I've been on both sides as a dom and sub. As a dom I have been penetrated before and as a sub I have penetrated too.
07/15/2011
CoffeeCup CoffeeCup
I own them, so I use their cocks whenever I want.
07/15/2011
  • 1
  • 2
Total posts: 32
Unique posters: 22