introducing elements of bdsm into a relationship

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introducing elements of bdsm into a relationship

the bedroom blogger the bedroom blogger
I've been with the boyfriend for almost 2 years. I like being dominated at times, and the boyfriend is sort of easing into it. We're pretty vanilla...I'm his first anal experience and he has had almost no experience with bondage or toys of any kind, for perspective. I really get off on the naughty talk and occasional name calling...he's self conscious about this I think. He has gotten comfortable being a little more...um...forceful in bed, what with the hair pulling and occasional choking(we're safe about it and I am a big fan). I'd like to get a little more into a little light bdsm, but I know the boyfriend is a bit uncomfortable with it. He has told me he's willing to work with me, but I don't want to be pushy and I want him to be as comfortable as possible. Basically, I'm looking for any type of advice. Has anyone been in a similar situation in the past?
09/29/2010
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Madeira Madeira
Quote:
Originally posted by the bedroom blogger
I've been with the boyfriend for almost 2 years. I like being dominated at times, and the boyfriend is sort of easing into it. We're pretty vanilla...I'm his first anal experience and he has had almost no experience with bondage or toys ...
link this is a great guide for getting a guy into BDSM.

With my girlfriend we were both pre-informed the other one was kinky when we met, but we had a really hilarious talk which started with "When you said kinky... just how kinky did you mean?"
09/29/2010
the bedroom blogger the bedroom blogger
Quote:
Originally posted by Madeira
link this is a great guide for getting a guy into BDSM.

With my girlfriend we were both pre-informed the other one was kinky when we met, but we had a really hilarious talk which started with "When you said kinky... just how kinky did you ...
That link is pure awesomeness. Thank you so much!

The boyfriend and I had a similar conversation, but it was a bit one sided.

Thanks again
09/30/2010
ScottA ScottA
Try to explore your partner's history as well. If they have had abuse issues or been close to someone with abuse issues they're not going to want to go there for a long time, and pushing them will make them really uncomfortable.
09/30/2010
the bedroom blogger the bedroom blogger
Quote:
Originally posted by ScottA
Try to explore your partner's history as well. If they have had abuse issues or been close to someone with abuse issues they're not going to want to go there for a long time, and pushing them will make them really uncomfortable.
Always great advice. However, he has no history of abuse, he just can't get past the idea that he isn't supposed to be 'mean' to me.

He's also just self conscious I think...he has a hard time talking dirty...he over-thinks things and is afraid of sounding silly.
09/30/2010
Armsjlove Armsjlove
Quote:
Originally posted by Madeira
link this is a great guide for getting a guy into BDSM.

With my girlfriend we were both pre-informed the other one was kinky when we met, but we had a really hilarious talk which started with "When you said kinky... just how kinky did you ...
That is a fantastic article! Thanks, Madeira, for posting this. ~ Arms
10/02/2010
Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
Just a quick thought from your post but sometimes people can feel self conscious about these things. If he's having a difficult time getting into the role, perhaps if you were blindfolded he could ease up.
10/02/2010
tiname25 tiname25
I dont like bdsm
05/12/2011
yatinp30 yatinp30
bdsm
05/12/2011
johnad45 johnad45
sounds erotic
05/13/2011
hotcoktail hotcoktail
05/13/2011
Total posts: 11
Unique posters: 9