Is Anyone here like me new to the BDSM world?

Contributor: kinky dude kinky dude
it's about trusting the person you do it with once you have that base sorted just experiment and find out eachothers limits and boundaries, thats the best part of it
02/23/2011
Contributor: Epicurean Epicurean
In my head, I'm very comfortable with BDSM, it's been with me my whole life in private fantasies. But in the "real world" (sadly, my head is not the real world, or the world would be a crazy place), I've got a lot to experience and learn about how other people approach BDSM.
02/23/2011
Contributor: gladiola gladiola
I know quite a lot about it, but have yet to really try out most of the things I've read/heard about/seen
02/24/2011
Contributor: guy4guyz420 guy4guyz420
I would love to get into bdsm but I don;t think my partner is into the idea.
03/11/2011
Contributor: ❦Angel Of Music❦ ❦Angel Of Music❦
I would like to try light BDSM, but i don't think my boyfriend is into it.
03/13/2011
Contributor: charip charip
This week, will be a first time for me. Still a BDSM virgin
03/13/2011
Contributor: (Re)tired Stripper (Re)tired Stripper
Quote:
Originally posted by Sweet-Justice
I'm interested in getting into BDSM with my fiance, I'm just curious if I'm the only one that knows only a few of the basics.(Safety/fetishe s etc.)
I certainly am no expert, but I've been kinky for as long as I can remember (pre-puberty, even). I'm always reading articles on blogs and participating on BDSM forums, or just lurking. There are some amazing books on EF to get you started. "BDSM 101" is a great starting point, as well as "The Topping Book" and the "Bottoming Book," as others have mentioned--for good reason; they are fantastic.

I've played and been in the scene since I was 16 and I'm 25 now, so I have a few tricks up my sleeve

It's no contest...but safety is so, so important. Not just physical safety--that's the obvious stuff. Emotional things can happen when you delve into hardcore BDSM. It's vital all parties are prepared for that. BDSM can get deep into the recesses of your brain and really trigger some intense feelings and memories. Rape and assault survivors of any kind ought to proceed with even more caution.

Knowing the reputation of whom you play with is key. Intuition/gut instinct is great, but not enough. Lust can cloud those things.

Personally, I've played around with bondage (including locking leather restraints and waist cuffs), locking platform shoes (!), choking, sensory deprivation, spanking, flogging, paddling, knife play, mindfucking, discipline, "slavery," rape-play, humiliation, face slapping, hot wax, orgasm denial and control, public humilation...what am I forgetting? haha, I'm not trying to sound hardcore, I'm just marveling at such an extensive list! What am I missing here? I love how EF is so accepting of its fellow freaks. I feel so comfortable here.


P'Gell, I love your post. I could've not said anything because you're just too eloquent for me.
03/13/2011
Contributor: newfoundlust newfoundlust
Quote:
Originally posted by Sweet-Justice
I'm interested in getting into BDSM with my fiance, I'm just curious if I'm the only one that knows only a few of the basics.(Safety/fetishe s etc.)
My wife admitted to me about a year ago that the idea of bondage/spanking turned her on. We are slowly experimenting with it, taking it slowly. Its fun to learn together.
05/06/2011
Contributor: The Curious Couple The Curious Couple
My fiancee and I have little experience with BDSM, but we're slowly learning.
05/06/2011
Contributor: babypinecone babypinecone
Quote:
Originally posted by Sweet-Justice
I'm interested in getting into BDSM with my fiance, I'm just curious if I'm the only one that knows only a few of the basics.(Safety/fetishe s etc.)
I am new too, my dom and I are trying new things slowly, since he is new too!
05/07/2011
Contributor: Bonesdance Bonesdance
My wife recently surprised me by ordering a light bondage kit, and we've been having fun trying out cuffs, restraints, and blindfolds - still pretty tame, but it's been a lot of fun to get started.
05/08/2011
Contributor: ac0313 ac0313
I voted practically a virgin, but the one above, know the basics, may be more appropriate. I just started exploring this area with my SO, who has been involved for a few years, and I really enjoy it. She claims I am a natural Dom and even a little Sadistic at times with her, which she completely enjoys! We will continue to explore this and have lots of fun...
05/09/2011
Contributor: padmeamidala padmeamidala
Quote:
Originally posted by Sweet-Justice
I'm interested in getting into BDSM with my fiance, I'm just curious if I'm the only one that knows only a few of the basics.(Safety/fetishe s etc.)
I've been in the bdsm lifestyle since June 1997. I've seen a lot through the years and learned a lot. I joined the bdsm community in Vancouver almost 3 years ago and that changed my life a lot.

I've love to try some new things. I still haven't tried needle play and some other things.
05/09/2011
Contributor: Pnutbuttatoast Pnutbuttatoast
My partner and I have just started getting into rope and tried a little bit of spanking.
05/13/2011
Contributor: Kdlips Kdlips
I'm practicaly a BDSM Virgin
05/15/2011
Contributor: zeebot zeebot
I haven't really tried much, but I really want to! It's on my to-do list.
07/06/2011
Contributor: Ivy Wilde Ivy Wilde
My husband is very interested in some aspects of bdsm. I am not entirely sure how I feel about it, but am looking into it.
07/06/2011
Contributor: lanky lanky
i know nothing
07/15/2011
Contributor: haley730 haley730
im loving it more
07/19/2011
Contributor: ScarlettSeraph ScarlettSeraph
I wish there was one more option, as I don't consider myself an expert on the subject, but I know more than just the basics. When I'm in a crowd of other BDSM folk, I am often not the most knowledgable in the room. However, if I'm among a more vanilla group, I am frequently the guru of the subject. I've read many books on the subject as well as have a decent amount of personal experience. My experiences with the community at large are growing all the time, I have found fantastic local groups that I join for munches (dinner meets) and play parties. There are some fantastic online resources available for people who are interested, I'd be happy to share if you drop me a message There are also many fantastic books on the topic, some available here on EF.
07/19/2011
Contributor: Vanessa Weiss Vanessa Weiss
Quote:
Originally posted by Sweet-Justice
I'm interested in getting into BDSM with my fiance, I'm just curious if I'm the only one that knows only a few of the basics.(Safety/fetishe s etc.)
Welcome to the wonderful world of BDSM

I chose "all the tricks of the trade" but I don't feel that that was really the truth but the best option. My partner and I are definitely quite kinky, and quite experienced, but the beautiful thing about kink is that there is just always something new to learn and discover.

My biggest piece of advice is explore slowly, thoroughly, and don't be afraid to try new things that might seem a little awkward. Communication is absolutely key with your partner - an open line of nonjudgemental communication (ie. The knowledge that "Ow! Get your fist out of my ass!" or whatever doesn't actually mean "I hate you", for example) during exploration and playtime is necessary.

Many cities have tons of resources to offer the kinky newbie, try looking on FetLife for "munches" or meet-and-greet type of events in your area. Depending on where you are, there may also be classes or seminars or discussion groups geared towards your interests or experience level - I'm lucky enough to live in San Francisco which is basically a kinky paradise when it comes to resources.

And HAVE FUN! Kink, D/s, BDSM, or whatever you call it or however you experience it need not be SRS BZNSS - don't take yourself too seriously. Don't be afraid to laugh even if you're NOT the dominant partner. If I had a dollar for every time my partner was topping me and said something that cracked us both up, we'd probably be able to furnish our own dungeon
07/19/2011
Contributor: systematicweasel systematicweasel
not really experienced just yet lol
08/08/2011
Contributor: MidnightStorm MidnightStorm
Haha, I'm surprised to see so many "BDSM Virgins!" I'm pretty young, but I'm very interested in BDSM and I've experimented a lot. ( I'm 20, just to clarify! )
05/13/2012
Contributor: AnnMorette AnnMorette
I have been dipping my toes in for just a while now. I however jumped in pretty fast as I have always been interested in BDSM
05/13/2012
Contributor: gsfanatic gsfanatic
We all started from the basics. I've never gotten too elaborate, but we tend to use the basics quite a lot.
05/13/2012
Contributor: Miss Lissy Miss Lissy
Quote:
Originally posted by Sweet-Justice
I'm interested in getting into BDSM with my fiance, I'm just curious if I'm the only one that knows only a few of the basics.(Safety/fetishe s etc.)
I only know what my previous partners have taught me. Like I'm relatively experienced at tying people up, but I have no idea what to do with a whip or an actual harness, as an example. I'm super curious about having an actual mentor though because I want to learn more.
05/16/2012
Contributor: meezerosity meezerosity
I have pretty much no personal experience but plenty of interest. Just haven't found a partner I've been able to explore it with yet.
05/16/2012
Contributor: sexxxkitten sexxxkitten
Just some cuffs here and there.
05/16/2012
Contributor: All His All His
done reading but not a lot of practical experience yet (the hubby and i are working on that lol)
05/28/2012
Contributor: lilgrump lilgrump
We are getting into some of the basics. I just recently realized just how much I love to be spanked and choked. We've been doing some heavy dirty talk for a while now and have been into some light bondage for a few years now. I've also always had a thing for forced sex.
05/29/2012