Is it normal to want your partner to spank and be rougher than normal during intercourse?

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Is it normal to want your partner to spank and be rougher than normal during intercourse?

HisOneAndOnly HisOneAndOnly
I have found myself being more into being spanked and wanting to be thrown around during intercourse or even wanting out of the ordinary things to be done to me. Is that normal when you become more into the bondage and fetish things? My partner doesn't complain about it, but I honestly don't think he is doing it hard enough nor enough to my liking. Does anyone have any suggestions? Is it wrong to want your partner to leave marks on certain parts of your body so that they aren't seen by anyone else??
07/07/2012
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- Kira - - Kira -
I don't think there's anything wrong with that at all! It took my husband a while to get comfortable inflicting pain on me during sex. I sorta had to train him up. I would suggest things that I would like and then the harder he did it the more I would moan. I also tend to cum harder if he's pulling my hair or choking me or something, so that tends to be a good reinforcement for "hey that feels good" for him. I just tried to subtly clue him in as much as possible. He still treads lighter than I would like sometimes, but for the most part he picks up on my cues.
07/07/2012
HisOneAndOnly HisOneAndOnly
Quote:
Originally posted by - Kira -
I don't think there's anything wrong with that at all! It took my husband a while to get comfortable inflicting pain on me during sex. I sorta had to train him up. I would suggest things that I would like and then the harder he did it the ...
Thank you so much for your advice. Sometimes it just seems that no matter how much I say more or harder the less he does it. Do you have any other recommendations on how to tell him how he knows what I want? I have been trying for awhile but I just can't seem to get all that far.
07/08/2012
gsfanatic gsfanatic
One of my friends had this issue with her boyfriend until she showed him that spanking didn't hurt, and pointed out she wouldn't break. It can be hard for guys who were raised on the be polite and gentle with girls standard, but making him feel comfortable can help a lot. You can also encourage him to slowly increase the strength of his hits, it helps build up confidence.
07/08/2012
- Kira - - Kira -
Quote:
Originally posted by HisOneAndOnly
Thank you so much for your advice. Sometimes it just seems that no matter how much I say more or harder the less he does it. Do you have any other recommendations on how to tell him how he knows what I want? I have been trying for awhile but I ...
Sit him down in a non sexual situation and talk to him. Tell him what you'd like and that for some people pain can be pleasurable. Sometimes people who don't like pain don't quite get that concept and they think that if they get rough they'll hurt you. Get together on a safeword that way he can be alerted if it actually does get to be "too much." If he knows there's a way to say "stop" and mean "stop," that might help.
07/08/2012
Dixiemomma Dixiemomma
seems completely normal to me! lol but then i'm the same. i was fortunate in finding my partner as He was into the lifestyle already so i didnt have to try to work him up to it but as was said above, sit down and tell him what you want out of it and that your not going to break. safewords are wise in ANY play situation explain the use of it to him so he knows that if he does get carried away you will be able to stop him.
07/08/2012
MnK MnK
Quote:
Originally posted by HisOneAndOnly
I have found myself being more into being spanked and wanting to be thrown around during intercourse or even wanting out of the ordinary things to be done to me. Is that normal when you become more into the bondage and fetish things? My partner ...
There's nothing wrong with that! I feel like if you're open with your partner about what you want then it will only make your relationship (and sex) better! I like it when my boyfriend is more dominant in bed, I'm not into bondage or anything too crazy, just simple things like spanking. After I told him what I liked he didn't mind and it seems like our sex life has improved a bit. So just be straight forward!

Your partner may be worried about hurting you, so just tell him that you'll let him know when if it gets to be too much. Reassure him while he's doing it that it feels good and that you really like it! Over time he'll get more into it as he starts to learn what you really like.
07/08/2012
Zandrock Zandrock
Firstly you may need to go slow. Just as sex starts with kissing, then touching, then naked touching, then oral, then sex, rough sex follows the same progression. It takes time and effort to get comfortable and lots of communication. Just tell him you know what try spanking a little harder next time, try a little harder the next time until you get to the intensity you want to.

I think it is very normal to have preferences change. When you explore you learn things. When I started out with my girlfriend she was not sure about some aspects of bondage and toys and it turns out some that looked the scariest actually turned out to be her favourite and most fun.
07/08/2012
HisOneAndOnly HisOneAndOnly
Quote:
Originally posted by gsfanatic
One of my friends had this issue with her boyfriend until she showed him that spanking didn't hurt, and pointed out she wouldn't break. It can be hard for guys who were raised on the be polite and gentle with girls standard, but making him ...
Thank you very much, I will be sure to keep this in mind the next time we talk about it!
07/08/2012
HisOneAndOnly HisOneAndOnly
Quote:
Originally posted by - Kira -
Sit him down in a non sexual situation and talk to him. Tell him what you'd like and that for some people pain can be pleasurable. Sometimes people who don't like pain don't quite get that concept and they think that if they get rough ...
Thank you, I will be sure to bring this up in a conversation before the next time!
07/08/2012
HisOneAndOnly HisOneAndOnly
Quote:
Originally posted by Dixiemomma
seems completely normal to me! lol but then i'm the same. i was fortunate in finding my partner as He was into the lifestyle already so i didnt have to try to work him up to it but as was said above, sit down and tell him what you want out of it ...
Thank you, we haven't needed to create a safeword yet, but I am sure in time we will need to!!!
07/08/2012
HisOneAndOnly HisOneAndOnly
Quote:
Originally posted by MnK
There's nothing wrong with that! I feel like if you're open with your partner about what you want then it will only make your relationship (and sex) better! I like it when my boyfriend is more dominant in bed, I'm not into bondage or ...
Thank you for your words on this subject, I feel that our sex life has improved, but not just from this aspect. We have came a long way and we enjoy trying new things!!!
07/08/2012
HisOneAndOnly HisOneAndOnly
Quote:
Originally posted by Zandrock
Firstly you may need to go slow. Just as sex starts with kissing, then touching, then naked touching, then oral, then sex, rough sex follows the same progression. It takes time and effort to get comfortable and lots of communication. Just tell him ...
I haven't been into the bondage aspect for too long, but when we watch some videos on it, it actually turns me on and makes me want to try different and new things that I didn't think I would like!!! We have been introducing this into our sex life for a while now, but I was always too afraid to tell him that it turned me on and made me want it more and harder!
07/08/2012
Total posts: 13
Unique posters: 6