Need some friendly BDSM advice

leilani leilani
Sex and Mischief beaded flogger review
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i am not new but i am still not that deep into the bdsm world, my hubby is though, and good advice to be safe and toys and accessories that are good to help our fun... without moving too fast it might scare us!
01/03/2013
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gsfanatic gsfanatic
I'd say go with a blindfold and fuzzy handcuffs. It's simple, an easy way to test what you like/don't like, and they're easy to get out of and non-intimidating
01/03/2013
kadelette kadelette
Quote:
Originally posted by gsfanatic
I'd say go with a blindfold and fuzzy handcuffs. It's simple, an easy way to test what you like/don't like, and they're easy to get out of and non-intimidating
Seconding this! If he's into S&M, a wartenberg wheel might be nice (different pressures give different tickles/pain) and you can always tell him to slow down or he can tell you to slow down. Bondage tape is good, too.. generally reusable and more comfortable than handcuffs!
01/04/2013
leilani leilani
Quote:
Originally posted by leilani
i am not new but i am still not that deep into the bdsm world, my hubby is though, and good advice to be safe and toys and accessories that are good to help our fun... without moving too fast it might scare us!
im already past cuffs (use real ones) and im past blind fold... i guess wartenberg wheel is next... anything else? if it will help he is the dom... he doesnt like restraints and broke the tape lol.
01/04/2013
kadelette kadelette
Quote:
Originally posted by leilani
im already past cuffs (use real ones) and im past blind fold... i guess wartenberg wheel is next... anything else? if it will help he is the dom... he doesnt like restraints and broke the tape lol.
Are you two more interested in the Bondage, Discipline or S&M aspects??
01/04/2013
leilani leilani
Quote:
Originally posted by kadelette
Are you two more interested in the Bondage, Discipline or S&M aspects??
all the above... trying to figure out best point... and what would best fit us
01/04/2013
Pixel Pixel
I'd suggest a flogger and a crop for the S&M side. A crop from a riding/tack/farm store is incredibly durable, and I only paid $10 for mine. (Think about it, it's meant to be used on animals...humans are so much less solid for the most part!)

Good luck in your explorations!
01/05/2013
fizzygato fizzygato
Depends what you're into

Opening up with something that takes skill (i.e. a flogger, rope, etc.) may be bad because they require foreknowledge (which organs not to hit with a flogger, which knots to tie and when, etc.)

Doing something you can just slap on (like hand cuffs) and doesn't cause pain (i.e. blind folds) work.

Pretty much avoiding anything that causes pain should probably be done, if you're new and don't know a lot/ aren't willing to spend a while googling or asking around, like don't do electric play (because then you have to worry about wires crossing over the heart) or fire play.

You could also just dress up all kinky, like with black and chains, fishnet, etc.

Like I said, it depends on what you're into, then it helps to learn about the damage/ repercussions that could come after
01/06/2013
leilani leilani
Quote:
Originally posted by fizzygato
Depends what you're into

Opening up with something that takes skill (i.e. a flogger, rope, etc.) may be bad because they require foreknowledge (which organs not to hit with a flogger, which knots to tie and when, etc.)

Doing ... More
hmmm ok thank you for the advice... ill talk it over with my love
01/06/2013
spiced spiced
To be safe, you need ground rules and both of you need to take them seriously. Agree on a safe word, obviously, and also if you have any hard limits, those should be clear to both of you.

Personally, I like when my wife takes something I enjoy (like paddling or testicle "abuse") and goes just a little further than I'm comfortable with. At first, she was very shy about pushing boundaries, but now she knows that I like it; and, that if she truly goes too far, I'll stop things.

We're both switches. We both like sex in bondage. The joy of mixing pain and pleasure, I guess! And of being physically unable to resist.

We like simple gear that's quick and easy to set up and take off. When's she's dominating me, usually I'm wearing a collar and padded wrist + ankle cuffs. I love when she locks my wrist cuffs to my collar! Limits the use of the hands, but keeps them handy to assist with oral sex (etc). To make sure you always have the key for any lock you're playing with, always lock it when you put it away. That way you'll need the key to unlock it before you start playing.

We both love short whips and slappers. Our favorite is a slapper that's stiff leather on one side and fleece on the other. It can be light or hard and a blindfolded sub won't know what's coming.

We like to briefly 'de-brief' after a session, especially to tell each other what we liked and would like to try again and what we might like to do to improve it next time.

The way we look at it, it's playtime. Get creative and try different things--while always keeping it within the rules you two agree on--until you know what you like. My wife and I like to keep it light and fun, but it can be however you and your partner want it to be.
01/06/2013
leilani leilani
Quote:
Originally posted by spiced
To be safe, you need ground rules and both of you need to take them seriously. Agree on a safe word, obviously, and also if you have any hard limits, those should be clear to both of you.

Personally, I like when my wife takes something I enjoy ... More
well we have the comunication thing down, as well he always asks me if there was soemthing i didnt like
01/16/2013
spiced spiced
Quote:
Originally posted by leilani
well we have the comunication thing down, as well he always asks me if there was soemthing i didnt like
That's great--I think communication is the most important thing. I recommend telling him what you really LIKED as well. I hope you have a lot of fun together!
01/17/2013
Total posts: 12
Unique posters: 6