Never did this before...advice?

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Never did this before...advice?

QueenBee8 QueenBee8
My boyfriend is insistent that we use some of these BDSM equipment but anything beyond furry hand-cuffs and a silk blindfold kind of creeps me out. Any advice on to how to ease myself into a mindset that might get me to change my mind?
04/26/2012
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RonLee RonLee
Talk to him about your apprehensions. See if he's agreeable to taking baby steps. If he isn't, you might want to reconsider whether he is appropriate boyfriend material.
04/26/2012
puppylove puppylove
I agree with RonLee, baby steps, slowly introduce new toys and equipment, don't go all gong ho right off the bat. If you are ok with silk blindfolds and furry handcuffs start there, I would say if you are the most apprehensive about it and you guys talk and are ok with it, you pick out stuff that might interest you to introduce to your relationship and build on it from there. And come up with a safe word before you start any play
04/26/2012
Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
It would also help to do some soul searching. What about it creeps you out?
04/26/2012
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
My opinion - it's time to move on.
04/27/2012
gsfanatic gsfanatic
It can be a bit intimidating, since a lot of the media for it shows the more hardcore stuff. If you take it slow though, it can be a lot of fun, just tell him no if it stops being pleasant.
04/27/2012
P'Gell P'Gell
Make sure you have a Safe Word. That is a word that either of you use if you want to stop. Both you and your partner understand that when either of you uses the Safe Word EVERYTHING STOPS! This it to prevent trauma or being frightened or if something hurts in a way you do not enjoy much.

Also, you may want to investigate the whole "creeps me out" thing. Does it repel you? Why? Is Kink really something you want to do? Or are you pushing yourself for some reason we weren't given.

It's good to, at least in the beginning, stay within your comfort zone. My Man and I engage in... hard play, but we don't do anything that "creeps" either of us out. We do what we do because we both want to.

If you've already used "furry handcuffs" a nice pair of neoprene cuffs that close with Velcro, like the Sports Sheets Cuffs and Tether is great.

Not only are they easy to put on and take off, but you have the "out" of removing them yourself (in certain set ups) so you can feel safer. This might be a logical next step, in fact, IMO, neoprene or even leather cuffs are safer than metal cuffs.

But, take it slowly. If you feel grossed out by the Kink, figure out why BEFORE you do it. Panic is not conducive to a good sexual experience.
04/27/2012
Beck Beck
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Make sure you have a Safe Word. That is a word that either of you use if you want to stop. Both you and your partner understand that when either of you uses the Safe Word EVERYTHING STOPS! This it to prevent trauma or being frightened or if something ...
Go P'Gell! Wonderful advice!! You always have a wonderful answer!!

Take the time to find out what creeps you out. Start slow. Maybe purchase a light BDSM kit or a Restraint system. I have this one. I can get out of it myself. You may want to look into something light first. Then see how you feel.

He should respect that you need to go slow. If it isn't something you are into then it isn't something you are into. He should respect your wishes, since you would be the one tied down.

Maybe see if he is open to the idea of being the one who is restrained. It might help you out to see it used first. And he might understand more why you are scared.
04/27/2012
Total posts: 8
Unique posters: 8