Ok Tops, Doms, Mistresses and Sirs...

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Ok Tops, Doms, Mistresses and Sirs...

MsTryska MsTryska
The poll about which one are you just got me thinking, and I have a question...

We all know the things we like to make our subs do...but for yourself - what do you like?

I find while I love playing with my sub and making him do all sorts of things, when it comes to my own unselfish pleasure, I'm pretty vanilla. Just a good rogering, lots of oral, lots of cuddling and nurturing and I'm good.

Am i out of the ordinary on that - or do y'all prefer more exotic fare for yourself? Or is all of your sexuality "tied up" in your dominant role and the things you do for them?
08/23/2010
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Sir Sir
I enjoy a lot of things with a partner, actually. I am a 24/7 Dominant, though, so I do not really know how to answer this question. No matter what we do to or with each other, there is always the underlying ownership and Domination of my partner. I feel that no matter what we are doing, being playful, being silly, even making love, I am always her Dominant and her Master.

I'm not sure if that is considered being "tied up" in my dominant role, but I do not find it to be. I also do not find being my partner's Dominant to be selfish. I am very giving, all of the time, because I honestly love to pleasure my partner, it gives ME pleasure to do so, to see her reaction to my movements or touches. Maybe that's "out of role," but I do not find it to be. Being a Dominant does not mean that the person completely ignores the needs of their submissive..it usually means that they need to pay even MORE attention to their needs in order to have the submissive be obedient and good in their service. This is usually how I lead my relationships. I love to please and be pleased. I feel that it's a give and a take, like any relationship.

I hope that this answered your question.
08/23/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
I enjoy a lot of things with a partner, actually. I am a 24/7 Dominant, though, so I do not really know how to answer this question. No matter what we do to or with each other, there is always the underlying ownership and Domination of my partner. I ...
Oh, Hell yeah!

The Dom has a LOT of responsibility. With Power comes Responsibility. Didn't Spider Man say that? (I'm using the genders My Man and I use. It's just easier for me to verbalize this way, feel free to personalize it for your own relationship.) He or she, the Top has to "be allowed." He has to be given permission, has to read his Bottom, fuel her, FEED her, nurture her, pleasure her, and still get what HE needs. He needs to often milk what he needs from her and allow her to allow HIM to take what he needs. That's a lot of work! It's a balance. A good Dom is really not selfish in any way, from where I sit. (Although it may look that way to those who don't "get it." or simply aren't into it, and that's fine.)

The role of Dom is very.....demanding. I often joke that I'm a Bottom because I'm too lazy to be anything else.

But, I'm approaching this from a Sub position, so mileage and all that.
08/24/2010
MsTryska MsTryska
Thank you both for your posts - I too believe a Top is in "service" to their bottom

P'Gell - what you said about allowing the top to get their needs met...

that's essentially my question for other tops - are your needs as...complicated... as your bottom's needs are?

I find for myself they are not. Yet and still I couldn't be in a vanilla relationship - that would bore the bejesus out of me.
08/24/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by MsTryska
Thank you both for your posts - I too believe a Top is in "service" to their bottom

P'Gell - what you said about allowing the top to get their needs met...

that's essentially my question for other tops - are your needs ...
MsTryska you said: "that's essentially my question for other tops - are your needs as...complicated... as your bottom's needs are?"

I think sometimes Him getting His orgasm needs met are put on the back burner, but not usually complicated. If he's concentrating on me and the scene is basically revolving around me, yeah, sometimes I almost forget, "Oh, yeah, he has to get off, too." But, he gets off on seeing ME orgasm, and he's said for him, often that's better than coming himself. We've had scenes which lasted so long and took me so long to orgasm the first time, that on occasion he gets exhausted and says, "You can suck me off in the morning. OK? I'm going to sleep." That works for us sometimes, too.

But, we have enough quickies, where He gets His, and my favorite is when he's servicing me, and I've gotten off, and lying on my back and he knees over me with his cock hanging down right in front of me, and he's completely in control.

So, it varies, depending on what we're doing. I have to say, I think he probably gets off more often than I do, due to the quickies we have at least once or twice a day. While I tend to be able to orgasm more (and more than once at one time) when we have more time, and things are set properly, and he can totally work on what he wants to do to me.

But, no, not as complicated. I'm a woman, as well as a Sub, so getting him off is fairly simple.....unless he wants to make it difficult. Which can be quite fun.

Of course there are many needs that aren't orgasm related, and, yeah, that can get somewhat convoluted. I don't really think about it most of the time, things just flow, and afterward, I sometimes think, "Damn, that was something." He's also, on occasion, commented, good naturedly, that, "This is a lot of fucking work, you know that?"

08/24/2010
MsTryska MsTryska
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
MsTryska you said: "that's essentially my question for other tops - are your needs as...complicated... as your bottom's needs are?"

I think sometimes Him getting His orgasm needs met are put on the back burner, but not ...
lol - i know what he means.

mine always gets me off too - and that is part of the game - but sometimes i do feel kinda boring because i like vanilla stuff for me - i don't want toys in me, i don't need a scene - don't need to be teased - none of that. If you ask me what my fantasy is for myself - i don't have one. Yet I constantly fantasize about the things I would do to a bottom.
08/24/2010
Total posts: 6
Unique posters: 3