Pain

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Perfect sub! Perfect sub!
How do you get ur partner to understaad hes not hurting u and u want it so much harder
11/06/2015
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OH&W, Lovebears OH&W, Lovebears
Hey Db,any chance of completing your profile Community needs more members

Are you inquiring about butt smacking or
11/06/2015
Lioncub Lioncub
More info will get you better responses.
11/06/2015
NJ casanova NJ casanova
Quote:
Originally posted by Perfect sub!
How do you get ur partner to understaad hes not hurting u and u want it so much harder
Do you express it while your doing the deed, and I mean strongly/decisively? If that doesn't work, you could go the other route... be like a Dominatrix, verbally demean him , verbally taunt him to get him riled up. For example, "Is that all you got, you could do better than that", He might get more aggressive
11/07/2015
Inquisitor Inquisitor
Quote:
Originally posted by NJ casanova
Do you express it while your doing the deed, and I mean strongly/decisively? If that doesn't work, you could go the other route... be like a Dominatrix, verbally demean him , verbally taunt him to get him riled up. For example, "Is that all ...
Ah, going the Brat route... that might work. Personally, if it were me in your shoes, I'd just talk to him before the scene started and let him know that you will tell him when enough is enough. Just curious, but did you two sit down and discuss how things were to go down before you started? Did you two establish boundaries and set up safe words and all that before you started?
11/07/2015
Lvstoplay Lvstoplay
Tell him you want to feel more and that he should be rougher/harder with you. You could also set up a if this happens then he is rougher type of thing, and try to get him to "punish" you.
11/07/2015
NJ casanova NJ casanova
Quote:
Originally posted by Perfect sub!
How do you get ur partner to understaad hes not hurting u and u want it so much harder
Jump on top... then you can do what ever you want, "getty up horsey"
Is that where the saying "Road hard and Put up wet", comes from ? I think so
11/08/2015
TheToyGuy TheToyGuy
The only real option you truly have is to sit down and explain from A to Z what you are into and what you want. You explain the rules, the safe words and you explain the limits and how far you are willing to push those limits.
11/08/2015
TheToyGuy TheToyGuy
Story time.

Does anyone know the term Sexual Masochism Disorder?

It is the condition of experiencing recurring and intense sexual arousal in response to enduring extreme pain, suffering, or humiliation.

I have had the fortunate/unfortunate experience of bedding an "Exclusive masochist" (that is someone who cannot achieve orgasm without pain or humiliation).

Before anything happened we sat down together and explained what we were both into, what we were willing to do. She was into extreme self mutilation, cutting and blood play. That was off the table for me. But we compromised on whips, paddles and batons. Spiked penetrative toys, rough bead and manual asphyxiation.

I'm not a sadist by a long shot, I do not get off inflicting pain, but I do get off on watching people in pleasure. And the whole reason we got together was because I had a lovely high powered sex machine rig at the time (A 900mm shunt powered by a 24V DC electric motor).

So we had sex, or I had sex with her which did nothing for her but it got me off then I strapped her down onto a futon and loaded the rig. She was so wet with anticipation, and when I whipped and paddled her she only got more intense then when we started the machine with a 9 inch rather firm brutally ribbed dong she really got off.

Had I not sat down an talked it over with her I would not have known her limits and she would not have known mine. I simply kept the emergency off switch next to her hand and reapplied lube every 5 minutes.

Once she had enough vaginally I flipped her over and she tried a bulbous 7 inch bully anally, while I whipped her back from time to time.

It was cute, horrifying and sexual at the same time. I got off several times with her mouth whenever she wasn't gagged.
11/08/2015
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
I have had a similar problem - but with patience and few well placed hints in the heat of the moment, my wife is starting to use a level of force that I find stimulating.

It really is about communicating what you want - but I am a firm believer in gradualism. I never push too hard, too fast, or too soon. A marriage is marathon there is no need to go faster than your partner can accept.

Case in point - it took more than 25 years to convince my wife to have anal sex. Now she loves it - it was worth the wait for both of us.
11/18/2015
unfulfilled unfulfilled
You have to communicate with your partner your wants, needs, desires. We talk about everything first upfront. I've told him he could be rougher when love making.
11/18/2015
unfulfilled unfulfilled
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
I have had a similar problem - but with patience and few well placed hints in the heat of the moment, my wife is starting to use a level of force that I find stimulating.

It really is about communicating what you want - but I am a firm ...
It took me several years agreeing to anal as well and have found that I orgasm so much harder if stimulated that way.
11/18/2015
TheToyGuy TheToyGuy
I was just contemplating the concept once again and believe that perhaps an introduction course to BDSM could benefit you. My local adult shop and several others in the area run them once a week/month. Maybe your local store would be able to help.
11/18/2015
NJ casanova NJ casanova
Quote:
Originally posted by Perfect sub!
How do you get ur partner to understaad hes not hurting u and u want it so much harder
I forgot to ask before, Does he have anything in his pass that makes it uncomfortable for him?

For example: I have trouble/don't like being "too rough", BDSM stuff spanking etc.it's a big turn-off for me, as I had a very violent childhood.
11/18/2015
Total posts: 14
Unique posters: 9