Safe words

Contributor: AtlDom85 AtlDom85
What safe words do you like to use?
02/20/2014
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Contributor: SaucyxGirl SaucyxGirl
When I sit down with my partners I try to come up with a word that is easy to remember and weird enough that it wouldn't normally be uttered during sexual activity. My favorite is zebra..
03/07/2014
Contributor: Silkyhair4 Silkyhair4
Quote:
Originally posted by SaucyxGirl
When I sit down with my partners I try to come up with a word that is easy to remember and weird enough that it wouldn't normally be uttered during sexual activity. My favorite is zebra..
I am new to bdsm. What are safe words?
03/10/2014
Contributor: SaucyxGirl SaucyxGirl
Quote:
Originally posted by Silkyhair4
I am new to bdsm. What are safe words?
A safe word is a word that said to signal that physical, psychological etc limits are being crossed and the scene needs to end. I always establish a safe prior to engaging any BDSM activities and lay down the rule that when that word is spoken everything stops, the person is unbound (if tied up)etc..

If a sub is gagged and unable to speak something held in the hand that can be dropped is used in place of a safe word.

I always suggest that people research as much as possible about BDSM...and don't use fiction as research material. Sadly real BDSM is ever depicted correctly in fiction, this includes the BDSM contained in a certain famous set of novels.
03/10/2014
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by AtlDom85
What safe words do you like to use?
We are such simple folks. We like to keep things easy, so in the height of passion or in a moment of abandon, we don't need to remember any "safe" words. We use "stop". "Stop" to us means....no joke..."stop". The other person will immediately cease and desist whatever they are doing (like "freeze") and then either wait to find out what is going on, or will say "what's the matter"? We don't do BDSM per se, but we do indulge in anal play and some other things that can go wrong in a hurry if someone is hurting, so this way, we know a "stop" message is clear, does not take a lot of thought and is an absolute "hold up" message. It has worked well for us, and our friends, who are a bit into bondage play use it too. Amazing how some simple things can really work sometimes!
03/10/2014
Contributor: PadoruLover PadoruLover
We just keep with stop in order to make it simple and so it's not forgotten. I have a bad memory and have a bad habit of not thinking after a certain point so we just need to keep it simple and use something we would use normally.
03/16/2014
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by PadoruLover
We just keep with stop in order to make it simple and so it's not forgotten. I have a bad memory and have a bad habit of not thinking after a certain point so we just need to keep it simple and use something we would use normally.
Exactly...if you are hurting or excited, a "key" word might fail you. "STOP" will not.
03/17/2014
Contributor: Sir Sir
I don't "like" to use any safewords. I prefer communicating with language that isn't just a "stop everything now" catch-all.
03/19/2014
Contributor: RomanticGoth RomanticGoth
We have one and haven't gotten to a point where we have had to use it yet. It is simple and easy to remember, but nothing that would come up in our bedroom vocabulary.
03/21/2014
Contributor: emilymileena emilymileena
We keep it simple with the color system. "green"=safe, "yellow"= either slow down or I may need a second, "red"=STOP, no questions asked. Just stop. I have had to use yellow a few times, and red only twice because my headspace wasn't right and I was on the edge of a panic attack (which is not what I'm all about when I play.)
03/24/2014
Contributor: symbol symbol
I use the colour system: red, yellow, green. Although, I've never heard of anyone actually saying "green" out loud. As far as I'm aware, unless you've negotiated otherwise with your partner, things are assumed to be "green" unless you say otherwise or call another colour.

I've never had to call a colour during a scene ('though I came close to calling yellow once), but those safe words are in place and agreed upon just in case they're ever needed.
09/29/2014
Contributor: benjiwithaz benjiwithaz
Quote:
Originally posted by AtlDom85
What safe words do you like to use?
My ex and I used the safe word: apple bottom Jimmy.
It was great!
12/21/2014
Contributor: benjiwithaz benjiwithaz
Quote:
Originally posted by AtlDom85
What safe words do you like to use?
My ex and I used the safe word: apple bottom Jimmy.
It was great!
12/21/2014
Contributor: spyrosph spyrosph
Quote:
Originally posted by AtlDom85
What safe words do you like to use?
My husband and I keep it simple. We use "stop". We trust and know each other enough to know that we won't say it unless we mean it. But once said, all activity ceases immediately. During activities, lots of words/phrases can be said (e.g., no more, enough, can't take it, etc.), but if we're looking for our immediate safe word - stop is easy and you never forget it.
02/16/2015
Contributor: Inquisitor Inquisitor
I stay away from the word "stop". Usually the partner will say "Don't Stop" but all I hear is "Stop" so I stop, so as you can see, it doesn't work for me. Usually the partner will say something like Ohhhh, but I hear OWE, and I stop too. As you can tell, we need better communication skills.
02/16/2015
Contributor: Vnessa Vnessa
I like the simplicity of the color system. Green (good, safe), Yellow (slow down), Red (Stop now). Very basic and easy to understand in the middle of everything that may be going on.
03/17/2015
Contributor: unoriginalgirlyid unoriginalgirlyid
Platypus, no way is that ever being mentioned in a scene. I also like the color system to let the person know I am getting close to my limit so it isn't such a surprise if I have to safe out.
06/05/2015
Contributor: Infidel Infidel
I jokingly came up with a safe word with an ex-girlfriend a few years back. We both decided completely without sexual context, that the funniest safe word would be "The Horse."

Because I've told that joke to each partner since, that has been the de facto safe word.

But I've never been in a situation yet where I need to call it out, Ouch is sufficient.
09/01/2015