Submissive but equal

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Submissive but equal

underHim underHim
My husband and I have a wonderful relationship where I am most definately the submissive to him in every respect, however he very much considers me his equal. Generally people have a hard time understanding this. How many are in a relationship like this and does it tend to confuse others (or dont you tell others)?
02/15/2012
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Pixel Pixel
I have this sort of relationship with my Sir. While I am his submissive, he considers my equal, and is training me to be his partner in all things.
02/17/2012
Chilipepper Chilipepper
Master and I both firmly believe in emotional and intellectual equality within a relationship. He once said that he couldn't stand women in his culture because they expect men to make all the decisions and be the leaders (and still expect men to read their minds), so he went on a dating site to find a more liberated woman to be his equal (and ended up with bitchy, opinionated me).

Master fully appreciates a submissive woman in sex and all aspects of it (of which I fulfill quite happily), but that's pretty much where it stays. At any rate, the fact that I let him make his own decisions and such (considering my personality) is considered submissive of me by most of my friends.

However, I am afraid this might not be what you mean, either.
02/17/2012
switzerland switzerland
Our relationship is the exact same.

And there are even times where we switch the Sub/Dom role. But always equal, yes.
02/17/2012
MimiPhryxus MimiPhryxus
I think the only way to have a lasting relationship, even a BDSM one, is to have equality between the partners.

I think that the sub is just as important in a relationship as the Dom in a BDSM pairing. The sub is the one who says how far the pain and play can go (stopping it with a safeword) and what they're comfortable with. If a Dom doesn't adhere to their need and limits, they cross the line from Dom to abuser.
02/17/2012
Vanille Vanille
I'm Master's submissive kittygirl always, but we are equal on all aspects. The only time I am 'below' Master, is when her body is physically above mine.
02/17/2012
Amelia Stone Amelia Stone
Quote:
Originally posted by MimiPhryxus
I think the only way to have a lasting relationship, even a BDSM one, is to have equality between the partners.

I think that the sub is just as important in a relationship as the Dom in a BDSM pairing. The sub is the one who says how far the ...
I agree. You have to be equals no matter what role you are.
02/18/2012
Andre SanThomas Andre SanThomas
Quote:
Originally posted by underHim
My husband and I have a wonderful relationship where I am most definately the submissive to him in every respect, however he very much considers me his equal. Generally people have a hard time understanding this. How many are in a relationship like ...
I don't worry about what confuses others and I don't discuss intimate details like with just anybody anyway.
02/18/2012
Princess-Kayla ♥ Princess-Kayla ♥
That makes perfect sense. We're equal out of the bedroom too.
02/19/2012
dks210 dks210
Makes sense to me. That's how my relationship is.
02/20/2012
underHim underHim
I like seeing that there are so many relationships out there like ours! It is fun to be different but at the same time it is great to have a sense of community with others who are like minded, there is not much of that around here where we live.
02/24/2012
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by underHim
My husband and I have a wonderful relationship where I am most definately the submissive to him in every respect, however he very much considers me his equal. Generally people have a hard time understanding this. How many are in a relationship like ...
I know what you mean. We're in a D/s relationship, but it still retains many degrees of "equality." Not all of them, there can't be two kings in the castle, but in terms of some things we are equal.

For others, I do defer to him, finances (even though I'm better with money, and I think he's finally learning that) household chores (he does most of the outside stuff and I do a good percentage of the inside stuff) etc.

However, unless it's something regarding the children (I'm the expert on this stuff) or my personal stuff, he has the final word a good part of the time. That doesn't mean I don't have a say, but his word is usually final. (I can be pretty persuasive.)
02/24/2012
SubmissiveFeminist SubmissiveFeminist
Do you mean you're only submissive in the bedroom or you live 24/7 and he's just very considerate?
03/11/2012
xxjoel xxjoel
Yeah, of course! Even if my relationship was 24/7 (which I've considered, and it sort of is but not really) I know my partner would consider me an equal still.
03/17/2012
underHim underHim
Quote:
Originally posted by SubmissiveFeminist
Do you mean you're only submissive in the bedroom or you live 24/7 and he's just very considerate?
I would say we live 24/7 and he is at the same time very respectful of my opinions when they do not interfere with his. He is very considerate to my wants and needs when I deserve his consideration.
03/17/2012
eroticmutt eroticmutt
I understand how this could be.

As a general rule children are considered 'submissive' to their parents, even once grown in many societies. They may not ALWAYS listen, but they tend to defer on certain decisions and always show respect, yet we are taught that all people are equals.
03/18/2012
Hallmar82 Hallmar82
Different but equal is the whole point of a marriage. I'm happy that both of you know each other in such a deeply intimate way. Most other couples don't know what they're missing.
03/18/2012
Total posts: 17
Unique posters: 15