The Acid Test

I read this when you first posted it, but it wasn't a good time to respond. I have been thinking about it ever since though.

I haven't seen it, and I think it's a great article with some words of caution. It is after all the words of only one person (or maybe even a handful.)

It does emphasize safety first which is probably the most important thing. There is a difference between online chat and reality though and you should always have a safety net set up for people that you meet.

One thing that bothered me, is that it talked about "verbal degradation" and some commands (example - "On your knees, slut") as an example of control freaks and not true dom's. Especially in online, but also in reality this type of play is something that some people truly enjoy from both sides. It does not automatically mean that you should immediately move on.

I agree with DBD's points. It's a good guide, some words of caution to advise but BDSM is potentially risky and we must all decide how much risk we're willing to take.

That depends. If the Dominant is feeling like being having play time immediately upon greeting someone, then they may very well do that. Or maybe the Dominant refers to their submissive as slut. I agree that it doesn't necessarily make the Dominant a "fake" Dominant. I truly do not enjoy the term.

...like having play**, excuse me.

That's not how a true Dom will greet, but it is a direction that i've personally heard in numerous situations from numerous experienced Doms who actually have really good standings in BDSM communities nationally, not just "control freaks". The test is whether or not being called a slut is on the sub's "no-list." If the submissive makes it clear that she does not want to be referred to in that respect, it is the Dom's responsibility to take that into account. If He/She does not, then that's a problem.

In my case, it is something that i do enjoy, and therefore the Doms that i submit under take advantage of the opportunity.

Ya follow?

Let me make it clear that any sort of D/s dynamic over a distance, especially online, requires a significant amount of trust and commitment. Can't tell you how many stories i've heard about things gone awry...