What do kink and bdsm mean for you?

Contributor: carenautilus carenautilus
I recently had a discussion with a contributor about the nature of kink and bdsm that really made me think. So, what do these words mean to you? Have they always meant the same thing? How has your idea of kink and bdsm evolved as you gain more life experience?
10/07/2011
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Contributor: Ciao. Ciao.
Kink to me is anything out of the realm of traditional vanilla sex and foreplay (which I would say generally encompasses manual masturbation, kissing, touching/fondling, oral, and vaginal intercourse). If you bring toys into the mix, do a little role playing, or get wilder that's probably a little kinky. (It's a good thing).

BDSM is a little more specific, in that to me it's bondage and sadomasochism...so you are talking specifically about restraining, power dynamics, and pain/pleasure balance. There are things that would fall into kink (like enjoying someone in high heels) that probably wouldn't fall into BDSM, but most BDSM falls into kink...though there are certain aspects of the power relationships (Dominance/submission) that go well outside of pure sexual territory and might not be considered so much kink anymore as they would just lifestyle choices).
10/07/2011
Contributor: carenautilus carenautilus
Quote:
Originally posted by Ciao.
Kink to me is anything out of the realm of traditional vanilla sex and foreplay (which I would say generally encompasses manual masturbation, kissing, touching/fondling, oral, and vaginal intercourse). If you bring toys into the mix, do a little ... more
Thanks so much for you input! Very thoughtful and clear.
10/07/2011