What is your advice to someone interested in BDSM?

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What is your advice to someone interested in BDSM?

Tessa Taboo Tessa Taboo
If your best friend approached you, and said that they felt an urge to start getting into BDSM, what would you tell them? Would you refer them to websites to get info? Would you give them any certain advice, or jumping off points for where to start?

I've just seen all these posts about how Fifty Shades has given so many people the wrong idea.... so, how do you get the RIGHT idea?
07/22/2012
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Feisty Feisty
Quote:
Originally posted by Tessa Taboo
If your best friend approached you, and said that they felt an urge to start getting into BDSM, what would you tell them? Would you refer them to websites to get info? Would you give them any certain advice, or jumping off points for where to ...
i would say to them to make sure that they have good communication with their partners on what they are and aren't comfortable with.
07/22/2012
gsfanatic gsfanatic
The first thing is that communication is key. You can also go look for books on the subject. Think the most common one is 'screw the roses, give me the thorns," but there are a lot
07/23/2012
charletnarouh charletnarouh
Quote:
Originally posted by Tessa Taboo
If your best friend approached you, and said that they felt an urge to start getting into BDSM, what would you tell them? Would you refer them to websites to get info? Would you give them any certain advice, or jumping off points for where to ...
-Read good, reputable, non-fiction books. SM 101, The New Topping Book and The New Bottoming Book are three great places to get started! Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns is a good book but slightly more advanced and more intimidating. Start with one of the other three. If you're interested in Topping, you should still read the bottoming book as well.
-Be SAFE, SANE and CONSENSUAL!
-Connect with your local kink community and go to munches (meetings of kink minded people at coffee shops or restaurants, very casual and social), workshops, discussion groups, etc. You can usually find stuff on fetlife.com or just do a google search for clubs or groups in your area. Yes, this requires going a bit out of a lot of people's comfort zone but it's so worth it.
-Find mentors and teachers if at all possible.
-If you have a partner you're considering playing with, be boldly honest and thorough in your communication with them. If you are going to be seeking a partner, do your research about them, ask around the local community about them, if possible, watch them play at a party. Be safe! The books I recommended give good advice for how to stay safe when considering a relative stranger to play with.
-You WILL make mistakes. You will NEVER be done learning!
07/23/2012
Tessa Taboo Tessa Taboo
Quote:
Originally posted by charletnarouh
-Read good, reputable, non-fiction books. SM 101, The New Topping Book and The New Bottoming Book are three great places to get started! Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns is a good book but slightly more advanced and more intimidating. Start with ...
I just ordered the Topping and Bottoming books the other day! They should be here tomorrow, and I CAN'T WAIT!
07/24/2012
charletnarouh charletnarouh
Quote:
Originally posted by Tessa Taboo
I just ordered the Topping and Bottoming books the other day! They should be here tomorrow, and I CAN'T WAIT!
Great! Enjoy! They are awesome books. Let me know if i can help any more.
07/24/2012
nori nori
All of this is excellent advice. ^^ thanks
07/24/2012
Tessa Taboo Tessa Taboo
Quote:
Originally posted by charletnarouh
Great! Enjoy! They are awesome books. Let me know if i can help any more.
I will do that!
07/25/2012
charletnarouh charletnarouh
Did you get your books and did they help you at all?
08/11/2012
Total posts: 9
Unique posters: 5