What is your Safe "action" when a word can't be said due to being gagged?

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What is your Safe "action" when a word can't be said due to being gagged?

Naughty Student Naughty Student
I am trying to think of some original ideas different from the "dropping a scarf" when it gets too intense.

I have looked at other forum posts about this but it mostly tends to be actual safe words verbally used. I am looking for something you can do if your hands or feet our bound and you have a ball gag in place. What actions have you tried, and do they work.

I am reluctant to simply drop a scarf and expect my partner to notice in the heat of the momment. I'm new to this and I'm trying to get my parter more and more involved but I want to make sure we are communicating and we both catch each others signals.
11/01/2010
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DeliciousSurprise DeliciousSurprise
I don't like using scarves; I find that they are too easy to miss. One option is that you drop something heavy that can be heard as it clunks against the floor, a polished stone or small metal ball.

I don't practice that, though, we use another signal. When someone is tied down with no movement possible, our safe action is to shake your head left to right / right to left three times while making a "unh" sound (or a gagged "no"). That way we have a visual, as well as a sound, so if one is missed the other can be noticed.

We find that it works best if the head turn is all the way, shoulder to shoulder, so there's no confusion of someone just writhing in ecstasy
11/02/2010
Naughty Student Naughty Student
Quote:
Originally posted by DeliciousSurprise
I don't like using scarves; I find that they are too easy to miss. One option is that you drop something heavy that can be heard as it clunks against the floor, a polished stone or small metal ball.

I don't practice that, though, we ...
I was hoping someone would talk of something similar to this. My partner and I communicate very well and he can read from my facial expression / body language if something is wrong. So my guess is if we use ways we ar accustomed to then we should be ok. I am still curious though, in situations where you aren't facing the individual...I guess my partner would have to look in my face.
11/02/2010
DeliciousSurprise DeliciousSurprise
Quote:
Originally posted by Naughty Student
I was hoping someone would talk of something similar to this. My partner and I communicate very well and he can read from my facial expression / body language if something is wrong. So my guess is if we use ways we ar accustomed to then we should be ...
If I'm not looking at my partner's face, or she at mine, we tap three times on the bed, or whatever's easily accessible to get the other's attention. For us it works, because any time I'm restrained I have the freedom to at least move my wrist up and down. Even so, unless my partner is too far to see my head, she usually can hear me, but we don't usually play with loud music on, so that has never been a big concern for us.

I hope some more people come in and give you ideas!
11/02/2010
Naughty Student Naughty Student
Me too! I was thinking of making a sort of little road sign red/yellow/green panels on ping pong paddles but smaller, and use those. But I was thinking that might be a little much to go out and actually do that.
11/03/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Naughty Student
I am trying to think of some original ideas different from the "dropping a scarf" when it gets too intense.

I have looked at other forum posts about this but it mostly tends to be actual safe words verbally used. I am looking for ...
For me when I have a gagged playmate I make sure to go very slow and methodical so that I can see ecatly what is going on with their faces and body language. I rarely tie a head still and I prefer the action to take place in front of a mirror so that I can see the person from all angles. My sub knows that to shake his or her head no is to end the scene completely. I will push boundaries but slowly and carefully as I don't want to cause lasting harm to either the sub or our relationship...that trust is so fragile.
Usually I snuggle the sub after and we discuss what was positive about the experience and what was not so positive. I have to have an amazing amount of trust to be bound or gagged myself so this helps my guys when they see how I top to understand how to top me...if that makes sense. I have to allow a person to top me, and I always keep that in mind when I am topping someone else.

I would suggest until you have worked that trust up and your partner learns your body language that you have a break frequently in the session where he looks into your face and asks you whether you think you can handle what he wants to do next. If you shake your head no then he stops and questions you fully about what you are having trouble with (he doesn't have to be polite or gentle while questioning you but he has to stop all physical sensation). When he is comfortable he can either decide to end the session and play comfort time or he can continue in the new direction you will discuss. This builds trust and he learns your true limits. Slow and easy builds years of fun.

If you need the activity to stop because of sensory overload or real pain then the deliberate headshake is the best answer I've found. Be sure to exaggerate the movement and also he needs to be sure that he's looking for that negative shake.
11/03/2010
Naughty Student Naughty Student
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
For me when I have a gagged playmate I make sure to go very slow and methodical so that I can see ecatly what is going on with their faces and body language. I rarely tie a head still and I prefer the action to take place in front of a mirror so that ...
Thanks, that is really helpful. I'm really excited about trying this. I don't have a lot of time on my hands right now with school but I am so excited about working the scene out with him. I think we can read each other well enough to not have to use objects to have him understand me.
11/03/2010
Dusk Dusk
I pinch my partner's arm three times. He always notices it (pinches are pretty painful) and we set things up so I always have some of his skin near my hand, even if I'm tied up and gagged. It's worked really well so far.
11/03/2010
Persephone Nightmare Persephone Nightmare
I have a little finger light, similar to the ones that ravers use. I put it on my index finger so that if need be I can push the button with my thumb and it will turn on. I think this works really good, especially if it's dark in the room.

Something else you could try, you could get one of those silvery hand balls (I think they're called Baoding Balls) that jingle when you swirl them in your hand for meditation. You can hold one in your hand and if need things to stop, you can just drop it. Not only will the "thud" of it hitting the floor help, but also the little jingle (and it'd be definitely more noticeable than a scarf).

Hope that helps
11/03/2010
Naughty Student Naughty Student
Alright, this is great. I will make a little list for my partner and see what he thinks! Thanks guys for your input.
11/04/2010
CleverKitty CleverKitty
Generally when gagged and 3 uh uhs with shaking of the head or basically 3 of anything. The funniest thing I've used is a pen that plaid short clips from Napoleon Dynamite when mummified, gagged and hooded.
11/04/2010
Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
I just attempt to kick him in the nuts and he gets the picture...

*blink*
11/04/2010
Sir Sir
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
I just attempt to kick him in the nuts and he gets the picture...

*blink*
You know what's funny? I was going to suggest this exact thing.


Yeah, I've been kicked enough times to know...it gets the picture across. HAHAHA!
11/04/2010
slavegirl slavegirl
shakes the head n moan 'unh' many times, thats the signal
11/29/2010
Mocha98 Mocha98
Quote:
Originally posted by Naughty Student
I am trying to think of some original ideas different from the "dropping a scarf" when it gets too intense.

I have looked at other forum posts about this but it mostly tends to be actual safe words verbally used. I am looking for ...
I find a cat toy ball, one with a bell in it works. It works really well!
11/30/2010
Hallmar82 Hallmar82
Snapping fingers works the best for us. Bells or other noise makers were easy to ring or drop accidently. At no point in time during "normal" play would we ever snap our fingers. It's something you have to make a conscious effort to do and can't be easily mistaken for anything else.
11/30/2010
LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
Quote:
Originally posted by DeliciousSurprise
If I'm not looking at my partner's face, or she at mine, we tap three times on the bed, or whatever's easily accessible to get the other's attention. For us it works, because any time I'm restrained I have the freedom to at least ...
Thats a good one thanks
12/02/2010
NarcissisticLust NarcissisticLust
Quote:
Originally posted by Hallmar82
Snapping fingers works the best for us. Bells or other noise makers were easy to ring or drop accidently. At no point in time during "normal" play would we ever snap our fingers. It's something you have to make a conscious effort to ...
This sounds like a great idea. Nothing extra to hold, plus it is both physical and auditory. Thanks for the advice.
05/27/2011
iveversxe iveversxe
The idea of snapping fingers sounds appealing, but what happens if you go unconscious? (I don't know how hard of a player you are, so it might be the right thing for you.)

Personally, I like holding two sets of keys. Drop one if you need to be ungagged and check in with your partner or for them to slow down (negotiate it beforehand). Drop both to end the scene.
06/07/2011
Total posts: 19
Unique posters: 14