Where to go next?

Perish, that's a bit too extreme of a leap. They are beginners, and are asking for the next step. Clearly, they have only been doing tying up.

I'd suggest going over a whole list of fetishes/kinks/etc. You can probably find one on the internet somewhere. Make sure you know what each kink is. Then, both of you sit down and go over, "Well, I might be interested in that." to "No, definitely not." Maybe even mark your responses in different colors to differentiate which check marks are yours and your partner's. Whenever I am with someone new, I try to ask them flat out. It's a lot easier than trying to hack into their porn folder!

Part of it was the product, as it wasn't very well made, but we couldn't even really take it seriously. Honestly, it made us both laugh so much, and it kind of killed any seriousness.

What did you use for tying up the legs? Also, did it get in the way/restrict the number of positions?

I might suggest a normal collar and/or leash, then. I do think the jock strap thing is a bit silly.


Also, you can get ankle cuffs and spreader bars for lower body restraint. Or something like under the bed restraints. They even make thigh cuffs.

I never made an assumption i made a suggestion :} Two different things lol
(Someone didn't pay attention in class).

I don't want to insult you but you really need to get off my dick here.

Well, it wasn't appreciated. This sort of thread takes a lot of seriousness, BDSM is not a joke.

No, you made a joke. I think you need to rethink anything before you type it out again.

Seconded. I feel that I answer any advice with a bit of insight and maybe a joke (that DOESN'T focus on them, because that comes off as ridiculing.) More like a funny incident from my past that helped me learn and grow. It makes the response more personable, and educated. A lot of us here are professionals, and responses like Perish's undermines that.

Joke =/= Suggestion.

See if your local sex sex shop ever runs classes; a BDSM101 class is a really common offering in even limited class offerings. You'll get a sampling of a number of common BDSM things as will be able to see if anything tickles your fancy.

In lieu of that, and in addition to the many good ideas in this thread, look into:

- Saran wrap for quick bondage, and fun stuff like partial and full mummification. That only sounds hardcore - it's not very complicated or threatening to play with being covered in saran wrap!

- climps and clamps for your dollar store. clothespins are cheap and fun to play around with, as are many hairclips. Just be sure to test them on the skin between your thumb and forefinger first to see how hardcore they will be on tender tissure. Start off putting them on nipples, go from there. Doing scrotum or outer labia can be really fun as well...

- Low level impact play. Pick up something like a paint stirrer (clean and new paint stirrer!) and play around with slapping ass and thighs and boobs during sex or bondage. Go from there! Be sure to test out whatever implement on yourself before use on your partner. Paint stirrers are wide an flexible, so the impact is cushioned over a big area and is very mellow.

- You can also play around in a bit of dominance and submission to see if that fits you guys as well. Do a trial evening with someone designated as being in charge and see if that mixes well into the bondage you already do....or whatever.

That's it - explore! Try stuff out - if you like it, cool, if not, no biggie. Enjoy the journey!

I don't think it is that hard to sit behind a computer and ask a question. I showed your reply to a friend and he found it kind of funny that a 39 year old lady is trying to flame on a 20 year old lol. In my opinion you're pathetic. Well since Bodymodboy is saying it is a joke then it's a joke. Could be both i guess. Ah... before i leave this thread, i will say one last thing directly towards you. Ahem, in the future i would suggest if you're going to try and attack someones ignorance with stupidity, i *suggest* you go and kill your pathetic self. 39 years old really? I will admit i'm immature at some point but i would expect more from someone that is as old as you are.

done.

What the fuck man?! Your suggestion was not helpful and was especially not helpful considering the gravity of some BDSM suggestions. Furthermore, it could potentially alienate community members. We don't need to be brushing off new folks who come to use for advice. Especially when you say "don't think it is that hard to sit behind a computer and ask a question." I'm glad you're so amazingly self confident but it CAN be difficult to ask questions, especially about sex.

Carrie Ann made a valid point AND pointed out why your joke wasn't helpful. I'm not sure why you had to bring up her age or start insulting her, neither of which she did to you.

BDSM situations*

There have been some great suggestions here.

You may also think about picking up a book. I'm finding the books I picked up very helpful in moving forward with our play. I was like you - I didn't have any ideas what to do next. I also wanted to make sure I was being safe. (this thread discusses it: link)

I wound up picking up both the books suggested and reading the website Carrie Ann provided. I'm working my way through all three.

Excuse me, you said it was a joke. I'm filing a complaint against you to the program manager, I hope you will take this as a sign to grow up and get mature. Your immature boyish tactics do not work on a thread with adults.

I was defending myself from getting flamed on. If i get into trouble for anything else than making a stupid reply and defending myself then what ever.

Well, he called me a faggot in PM and said he had his dick in my mouth. It just proves his immaturity.