Safe Words

The New Intimacy

Safe Words

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Contributor: Reesa Reesa
Quote:
Originally posted by Airlia
For all those BDSM lovers, care to share safe words? My partner and I figured it's about time we needed one and we can't seem to find one that doesn't make us fall about in fits of giggles!
We were just discussing this at a party I went to recently ^_^

A friend mentioned how the ultimate sadist's safe word choice would be the word "Mississippi"...spelle d out, CORRECTLY, before the top will stop what zie is doing.

...I generally just stick to the stoplight system. Once upon a time I considered switching things up a bit, but given that most play parties and such that I go to all subscribe to the same system, it just seems easier all around to be consistent. That way I *don't* find myself in the position of not remembering the safe word.
06/04/2009
Contributor: Juliettia Juliettia
With my husband, we just tend to know or it's never progressed to the point where a safe word was needed. Save for once during a forced anal play. It was "Harpy". I love the idea of the tapping system and may have to implement it.
06/07/2009
Contributor: Raven Raven
Quote:
Originally posted by Red
With my husband, and with casual playpartners, it's all about the green yellow and red. I use green a lot cause I, for one, love knowing when "all is well". Those are more feedback words to me than safewords - I want them respected, ... more
Perfect safewords!!! Maybe I should ditch my standard stoplight words and choose something more appropriate!!
06/15/2009
Contributor: Sir Sir
You know, I've never once made a safe word with someone. I've never been able to trust the use of it with a partner.
06/15/2009
Contributor: Destri Destri
Quote:
Originally posted by Airlia
For all those BDSM lovers, care to share safe words? My partner and I figured it's about time we needed one and we can't seem to find one that doesn't make us fall about in fits of giggles!
Ours is 'rigatoni' - as in the pasta- we haven't used it yet, but we like the idea of a safe word that makes us giggle!
07/08/2009
Contributor: Laccaria Laccaria
I've been thinking about this topic lately. We've used the stoplight system before. I really like the idea, but somehow we never really liked the reality.

We recently discovered that the phrase "I hate you" is suprisingly easy to articulate while gagged. We discovered this while testing out various safe words with a gag. Every word we thought of was a failure until I jokingly told my partner that I hated him for making fun of my inarticulate attempts to get out the potential safe words. It's funny to us because of the context, but I'm worried that if one of us used it seriously it could be rather hurtful, even though we both understand the context. So, I really want to come up with something different, but easy to say.
07/12/2009
Contributor: Darkness Withinus Darkness Withinus
Quote:
Originally posted by Airlia
For all those BDSM lovers, care to share safe words? My partner and I figured it's about time we needed one and we can't seem to find one that doesn't make us fall about in fits of giggles!
I have used a lot of safewords myself and I always prefer that the person pick their own that way it's a word they know well. I have had people use words like Monkey, or Salem, or even annihilate. I am also a fan of having safewords set up in the red, yellow, green system in that you have different words for slow the scene down and stop the scene completely. Other than that my advice is use something that you will always remember because there is nothing worse than forgetting a safeword.
07/30/2009
Contributor: imp imp
Red, yellow and green system is great for a clear communication set up. Red meaning stop now, yellow is more for us a please slow down, give me some breathing space, ease off etc. Checking in is also a great habit to get into.
08/01/2009
Contributor: Liz Liz
We use red-yellow-green, just because these are the words we find easiest to remember in the moment. We've tried using a random word once or twice, but it's amazing how easy it is to forget.

@vanilla impaired, how does checking in work you? is it a regular, periodic thing no matter what's going on in the scene, or just something you do if there's any doubt?
08/01/2009
Contributor: imp imp
Quote:
Originally posted by Liz
We use red-yellow-green, just because these are the words we find easiest to remember in the moment. We've tried using a random word once or twice, but it's amazing how easy it is to forget.

@vanilla impaired, how does checking in work ... more
He will check in constantly and also uses a number scale so will ask what level something ie. a 4/10(bleah bring it) to perhaps an 8/10 (fuck me yup thats rather hurty) is to gage where we are at with something, especially new things we try.
08/01/2009
Contributor: victoria_ victoria_
thank you for sharing the info

link
08/02/2009
Contributor: Afrodisiac Afrodisiac
We usually use "mercy" as ours. Not normal in our vocabulary so it works.
08/06/2009
Contributor: Rayne Millaray Rayne Millaray
Mine was "Enough." Plain and simple. Not something I'd say during sex or a scene normally. It worked for us.
08/12/2009
Contributor: Raven Raven
Quote:
Originally posted by Rayne Millaray
Mine was "Enough." Plain and simple. Not something I'd say during sex or a scene normally. It worked for us.
Exactly. Even though I have always favored the traffic light words, I remember a time or two years ago when the only thing I could get out was, "That's enough!"
08/13/2009
Contributor: Atargatis Atargatis
i don't use safewords. Some of the Dominants that i submit to in my training provide safewords, should i need them, typically "Yellow" and "Red." Typically my Dominant is able to tell which sets or aspects of a scene will give me trouble, so He breaks it down and says like "Okay, we're going to have 5 of these softly, and 5 more moderately, and 2 hard" and asks me after each set. If i need to stop, i simply say so. i don't do the whole "No, no, no, stop" thing unless i actually mean it.

Besides, typically i'm gagged or something and that just doesn't work with safewords.
12/07/2009
Contributor: Astia Astia
We use "ostrich", because its definitely not a word we would use even in the weirdest role playing.
02/18/2011
Contributor: TheSinDoll TheSinDoll
I use the simple, red, yellow, green.

I've tried to come up with cute little words in the past and totally forgotten them mid-scene. Thank God I didn't need it that go-round. Since then I stick to the simple stuff.
02/18/2011
Contributor: bunny love bunny love
My boyfriend and I use "cactus."

I was constantly trying to think of the kookiest and funniest safe words a little while ago. I kind of want to use "Catbus." hehehe
02/18/2011
Contributor: toxie m toxie m
Officially our safe word is "fire" but we've haven't used it yet. When we're doing super deep throating/face fucking where I'm on the bottom we usually hold hands so I can squeeze his if I need him to lay off a bit so I can breathe/not throw up. We both like it because it adds an extra sort of soft intimacy to be holding hands during that kind of thing.
02/23/2011
Contributor: LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
Quote:
Originally posted by Red
With my husband, and with casual playpartners, it's all about the green yellow and red. I use green a lot cause I, for one, love knowing when "all is well". Those are more feedback words to me than safewords - I want them respected, ... more
LOL! "Lawsuit" I'm on the floor!
02/23/2011
Contributor: Scarlette Scarlette
I havent had a safe word yet, my partner and I have a pretty good body language system. Taps, usually Im slapping the bed or his closest body part. If Im unable to tap, or speak clearly, I let out a really long humming sound.
03/05/2011
Contributor: Happy Camper Happy Camper
We use the traffic light system: green, yellow, red. Although I've never had to use a safeword with my partner before. He reads me pretty well and tends to error on the side of being nice. Which is strange because he's a major sadist.
03/05/2011
Contributor: IrishLassie IrishLassie
Quote:
Originally posted by Adriana Ravenlust
Well, we jokingly use "banana" but we haven't had anything serious enough to need a real safeword. I am partial to the red light, green light, yellow light system.
That's funny that you acutually mention that because our safe word is banana. HAHAHA!!
We are still figuring a safe "act" I can do if I am gagged and can't say banana.
03/07/2011
Contributor: Zapples Zapples
Yoshi!

It's verbally distinct (hard to confuse it for any other word) and we both love that character. Funny thing is, we've never actually had to use it.

If I'm gagged, I have a little light-up keychain that can be turned on easily. Pretty nifty, if I do say so myself.
03/11/2011
Contributor: hut22dunn2 hut22dunn2
Quote:
Originally posted by Airlia
For all those BDSM lovers, care to share safe words? My partner and I figured it's about time we needed one and we can't seem to find one that doesn't make us fall about in fits of giggles!
Yeah same problem lol
07/17/2013
Contributor: SickOnSin SickOnSin
Bambi for oh hell no let's stop as I said this one is from Rough Cut by Mari Carr
Thumper for I'm getting uncomfortable please slow down.
07/18/2013