Change of category, I want a strap on, gf thinks it is too bdsmish

Mike69 Mike69
I want to get my gf to get a strapon. I don't like the videos where the talk is all 'yes mistress,' I just want a strapon in my ass to get my prostate going. I think if the category for this discussion was in another group, maybe jusst sex toys, it might not be so intimidating for a lot of hetero couples. I would love to get this going on, but can't quite get her over the hump that it is ok, and I'm not gay if I want it. There needs to be a website or forum here that supports the idea that it is ok for me to know I can cum from prostate manipulation, and I'd like to include my hetero gf. Any thoughts? How do we as a community make it more acceptable?
05/29/2010
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Liz2 Liz2
Using a strap-on is gender fluid. My b/f who is 100% hetero, loves me to peg him using a strap-on. I have used a strap-on with a g/f and she has used it on me. We have used them for both vaginal and anal penetration.
I suggest you explore prostate stimulation with butt plugs and toys (with bases). My b/f usually masturbates using a butt plug....says it causes a stronger climax for him.
Good luck!!
05/29/2010
Sir Sir
Well, I can tell you right now, using a strap-on is not necessarily "bdsm-ish." They're sometimes, actually, used in very vanilla ways, and this is what you have to explain to her. Explain that many straight, VANILLA couples use them, and that they're not exactly intended to be "bdsm-like." Though they can be used in that way, her wearing one does not have to mean that it's the two of you having a role change.
05/29/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
If you are attracted to women and not interested in men you are NOT gay regardless of what you do during hetero sex. Prostate stimulation is extremely pleasurable for SOME men. Lots of people who participate in the BDSM lifestyle do enjoy pegging but so do lots of people who wouldn't ever want to try BDSM. The point is no one group "owns" the sex toy!
If she is wearing a strap on she isn't a substitute guy "fucking you" she is a woman pleasuring her man in a very direct way. You aren't submissive to her you are being pleasured BY her and you can try different positions that will make it seem less intimidating such as side by side.
Liz2 has a good suggestion as well, get a butt plug or a dildo meant for a strap on and use it while you masturbate. If you feel comfortable let her watch the pleasure it brings you. Discuss how she could play with you using the plug. Work up to a harness...it can be a bit intimidating if you've been raised to believe sex is black and white and certain things aren't meant for hetero people.
05/29/2010
El-Jaro El-Jaro
Feeldoe?
05/29/2010
ScottA ScottA
Just out of curiosity - I've been wondering for a while why Eden has the strap-on/pegging forum under BDSM. Didn't say anything about it because I wasn't sure where the best fit was, but given the topic of this thread...

There's a Tribe out there (Pegging is for Everyone) that seems to be generally from a non-BDSM standpoint, and there's a great essay that someone put out that's linked from my Bottomtalk blog here: link

It's written by Jason of Erosophilia and is very well-reasoned. Direct link: link
05/29/2010
Peg Peg
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
If you are attracted to women and not interested in men you are NOT gay regardless of what you do during hetero sex. Prostate stimulation is extremely pleasurable for SOME men. Lots of people who participate in the BDSM lifestyle do enjoy pegging but ... More
If she is wearing a strap on she isn't a substitute guy "fucking you" she is a woman pleasuring her man in a very direct way.

Very well said!
05/29/2010
bend over hottie bend over hottie
If you guys are into porn maybe you could try watching a video together with some "vanilla" type strap-on in it. Tristan Taormino's Chemistry has a scene with 2 girls using a strap-on on a guy and it isn't BDSM style at all. And if you wanna show her all the basics about it try Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide To Anal Pleasure For Men, I've not seen it but it looks like it would be a good education video for a couple.

But I agree with Liz2...you really need to just try prostate stimulation with a toy before you throw her straight into strap-on, might make it an easier and much more fun transition for her.
05/30/2010
Total posts: 8
Unique posters: 8