How does one get their wife interested....

Rescuer136 Rescuer136
How does one get their wife interested, in using toys on the husband? Or strapon play?

My wife is rather submissive, but sometimes, gets ornery, and kind of takes a little control or tops from the bottom, but ya.

Any advice would be beneficial
11/01/2012
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ScottA ScottA
What's her attitude towards anal play now? If she's open to anal play herself then it might be an easier transition. If not you can work up to it with buttplay, letting her know you like it.

In any case start with handheld toys. Strapons have the potential of having their own baggage, so it's best for both of you to be OK with anal play before anyone talks about harnessing up.

I saw some good stuff on Ruby Ryder's Pegging Paradise.
11/03/2012
DB0589 DB0589
Just talk it over with her. If your in a loving relationship in and out of the bedroom, there has to be a moment where your talking about fantasies. Bring it up then, or at least hint toward it. One common mistake is trying to show her a favorite porn scene of it, don't ever do that. A lot of the porn online about it is more about Female domination (Slapping, face-sitting, whipping ect.) and that may turn her off of it. Also remember that its similar to giving head to you for her, in the fact that she isn't getting much of any direct stimulation(some double ended toys do exist but we never had a good experience with them read my Feeldoe review), this doesn't mean there is nothing in it for the 'driver' but it's a different stimulation for them. Many women enjoy turning the table, some people like the idea of giving pleasure to their partner. Don't forget that communication is going to be key here before, during, and after. Unlike when you do it to her she has to strap something on that she has no physical why to feel what she is doing in there. That's why your there to tell her what feels good and what doesn't. If you do get to the point of trying it don't just drop a harness in front of her she is the one who has to put it on and wear it so make sure she is a part of all the shopping you do for it, she will notice that your focusing on her and making her the center of the whole thing. Size, price, and comfort (For both of you) will determine what harness or set to get. If your in a good relationship with your wife she should at least want to try it once if even to check it off the list of things to do that's what happened with us just experimenting with new things and we found one we both liked so our first set was fairly cheap but served its function I reviewed that set too.

Remember! Communication is key!!!
11/04/2012
Andrew1992 Andrew1992
Quote:
Originally posted by Rescuer136
How does one get their wife interested, in using toys on the husband? Or strapon play?

My wife is rather submissive, but sometimes, gets ornery, and kind of takes a little control or tops from the bottom, but ya.

Any advice would be beneficial
I think you just have to jump in and ask.
11/05/2012
robertk2380 robertk2380
Quote:
Originally posted by Rescuer136
How does one get their wife interested, in using toys on the husband? Or strapon play?

My wife is rather submissive, but sometimes, gets ornery, and kind of takes a little control or tops from the bottom, but ya.

Any advice would be beneficial
We tried toys first after I let her know how much it turned me on when my butt was part of our play. She saw the reaction in got and we went from there. Eventually I broached the subject of using a strapon. She was skeptical, but was willing to try it. I think you start slow and communication is critical at all times.
11/11/2012
vanillaSpice vanillaSpice
Really, just ask! Some time when it's not a really charged moment but you're interested in talking things over just bring it up. "Hey, have you ever wondered what it might be like to use a strap-on?" or whatever.
11/14/2012
hanjonatan hanjonatan
have you asked her directly? that's probably the best way to go. explain to her why you'd be into it and why you think she might be into it, too.
11/14/2012
no longer here no longer here
Mrs says, hopefully you have an open line of communication both inside and outside the bedroom. If you do then talk to her. Tell her why you think it would be great if she did. If you do not have open communication, start there. What would she like to incorporate, what would you like.

Once Mrs realized how much pleasure Mr got out of toys we started incorporating them more frequently.

Hope this helps. Good luck!
11/14/2012
KinkyKatiya KinkyKatiya
Quote:
Originally posted by Rescuer136
How does one get their wife interested, in using toys on the husband? Or strapon play?

My wife is rather submissive, but sometimes, gets ornery, and kind of takes a little control or tops from the bottom, but ya.

Any advice would be beneficial
your best bet it to just talk to her about it and let it marinate when shes ready she will start slow and work her way in. that how i personally got my guy into it. he had slight curiosities but i dont think he intended it to go as far at it did. =D
11/15/2012
spiced spiced
I've noticed people have different ideas about strapon play. Some think of it as a submissive/dominant thing while others view it simply as loving play. My wife and I have done both.

We actually started with the s/d side of things. I wanted to be submissive to her, but, like your wife, mine is more naturally submissive than dominant.

So I "drove from the bottom" and after overcoming her initial reluctance, I walked her through it every step of the way. She didn't think she'd enjoy it--but she DID enjoy it! More than either of us had imagined.

And I enjoyed it even more than I'd thought I would. Now we both enjoy it (we do it every few weeks lately, sometimes more). I always have to initiate it, but once she's strapped in, she will take control if she knows I want her to!

I suggest you talk about it with your wife when you're both a bit turned on. Maybe you could ask her about her fantasies/desires first. And tell her which ones you'd be willing to try. Then tell her yours. If she doesn't want to try strapon play, find out what she doesn't like about it. With my wife, it was the idea that I wanted her to "be a man". After I explained that wasn't what I wanted, she was much more open to it.

Have fun--and let us know how it goes!
11/17/2012
ScottA ScottA
"A bit turned on" is not right before, during or after other sexual activity. Bringing up something "different" is best done at a time that you're both thinking sexy thoughts but still thinking.
11/17/2012
spiced spiced
Quote:
Originally posted by ScottA
"A bit turned on" is not right before, during or after other sexual activity. Bringing up something "different" is best done at a time that you're both thinking sexy thoughts but still thinking.
My wife loves to talk about sex a little while after she orgasms from oral, which is often a little while before I do. She and I are both very turned on and open at that point. About 90% of our sex talk happens in that interval! (And about 100% of our [bold|productive sex talk). Of course, this is a highly personal thing; other couples might do better talking over coffee...but that's what works for us.
11/18/2012
Martiniman Martiniman
Very good question. I'm paying attention.
11/18/2012
Tork48309 Tork48309
I came across a Book See Chapter 6: How to ask for it.
12/01/2012
MrWill MrWill
Quote:
Originally posted by Rescuer136
How does one get their wife interested, in using toys on the husband? Or strapon play?

My wife is rather submissive, but sometimes, gets ornery, and kind of takes a little control or tops from the bottom, but ya.

Any advice would be beneficial
Consider approaching it with anatomical explanations of how much pleasure it can bring for a man:
Male Anal Stimulation

The sphincter is absolutely LOADED with nerves, and in men the prostate alone, when stimulated can cause mind blowing orgasms.


Good luck to you sir!
12/01/2012
ScottA ScottA
See these:

link

link
12/02/2012
Total posts: 16
Unique posters: 13