Are strap ons really considered BDSM?

Kenneth Fort Kenneth Fort
OR did they just want this section to look bigger. I've never heard of them considered as such.
11/06/2012
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charletnarouh charletnarouh
Quote:
Originally posted by Kenneth Fort
OR did they just want this section to look bigger. I've never heard of them considered as such.
They CAN be used in power exchange and role play, and are considered by many to be "unconventional" but i wouldn't classify them as BDSM, personally.
11/06/2012
- Kira - - Kira -
Quote:
Originally posted by charletnarouh
They CAN be used in power exchange and role play, and are considered by many to be "unconventional" but i wouldn't classify them as BDSM, personally.
Ditto this. Some people use them in that way but I don't consider them BDSM.
11/06/2012
Bill220 Bill220
I don't consider them BDSM. Would actually love to try this but my wife isn't up for it.
11/06/2012
no longer here no longer here
We don't see them as BDSM. They can be, but they don't have to be. Sensual pegging vs. dominatrix. It's all in how you want to enjoy each other.
11/06/2012
Ansley Ansley
Here's the thing, being penetrated has long been seen as a form of submission. Whether that's accurate or agreeable isn't really up for debate, but there really isn't a "better" category to put them in without pulling something out of thin air.
11/06/2012
hanjonatan hanjonatan
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
Here's the thing, being penetrated has long been seen as a form of submission. Whether that's accurate or agreeable isn't really up for debate, but there really isn't a "better" category to put them in without pulling something out of thin air.
that's ridiculous, though - by that logic, all penetrative sex is bdsm, including vanilla hetero PIV sex. and clearly that is not the case, so how is it any different if it's a woman penetrating a man with a strap-on?
11/06/2012
Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by hanjonatan
that's ridiculous, though - by that logic, all penetrative sex is bdsm, including vanilla hetero PIV sex. and clearly that is not the case, so how is it any different if it's a woman penetrating a man with a strap-on?
Ask the ancient Greeks and Romans? They're the ones who started this whole submission nonsense.
11/06/2012
Red Vinyl Kitty Red Vinyl Kitty
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
Ask the ancient Greeks and Romans? They're the ones who started this whole submission nonsense.
I really think that intent should be the driving factor in whether or not something is a submissive act. If being penetrated makes someone feel submissive, than it is a submissive act. If it doesn't make them feel submissive, then it's not. To me, anyway.
11/06/2012
no longer here no longer here
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
Here's the thing, being penetrated has long been seen as a form of submission. Whether that's accurate or agreeable isn't really up for debate, but there really isn't a "better" category to put them in without pulling something out of thin air.
Agree. Just offering out two cents on how we see it. It can be very submissive and it is more submissive than men are used to being in traditional relationships.
11/06/2012
Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by Red Vinyl Kitty
I really think that intent should be the driving factor in whether or not something is a submissive act. If being penetrated makes someone feel submissive, than it is a submissive act. If it doesn't make them feel submissive, then it's not. ... More
I agree. I'm just stating the general, stereotypical (and uneducated) opinion on the matter.

If you strip all of the human emotions and ideas of consent away from the matter, the person being penetrated is submitting to the person doing the penetrating. Add in human emotions and ideas of consent and it becomes an entirely different ballgame.

I mean, there's a reason why guys were tormented for centuries for liking a little ass play now and then. It was seen as an act reserved for females - the weaker (coughbullshitcoughstr ongercough) sex.

I mean you can't just wipe away those ideas and it's something that has been shoved down and kind of ignored for the longest time. Vagina literally means "sheath for a sword" (which is why I prefer the term pussy).

It's a bit disheartening but at the same time, as you said if you don't feel like it's an act of submission, then it isn't. And even if it is, what's the big deal?
11/06/2012
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by Kenneth Fort
OR did they just want this section to look bigger. I've never heard of them considered as such.
I don't pay attention to the labels. I've bought blindfolds, cuffs, slappers and crops that are traditional BDSM gear - but we don't use them that way. We use them to create new and very sensuous sensory experiences completely devoid of pain, control or so-called 'power exchange'.

If we do strap-on some day - it will be for the same reasons.
11/06/2012
Robespierrethecat Robespierrethecat
I was thinking the same thing. Cause pegging isn't necessarily BDSM, but certainly can be. I suppose it's BDSM when it's a power play or sub/dom sort of situation, but it doesn't have to be. If your partner just likes anal stimulation and you provide that, it's not quite BDSM.
11/06/2012
hanjonatan hanjonatan
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
I agree. I'm just stating the general, stereotypical (and uneducated) opinion on the matter.

If you strip all of the human emotions and ideas of consent away from the matter, the person being penetrated is submitting to the person doing ... More
yeah, but none of this explains why pegging is under the bdsm category on the edenfantasys.com forums?

i'm not even trying to argue about it, but like... bringing up the ancient greeks and romans has very little to do with contemporary ideas about BDSM and how penetrating someone or being penetrated relates to such.

like i said, by the same logic you'd have to put (what we'd consider) normative, "vanilla" straight PIV sex under the bdsm category, and i'm not seeing that happening.
11/06/2012
Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by hanjonatan
yeah, but none of this explains why pegging is under the bdsm category on the edenfantasys.com forums?

i'm not even trying to argue about it, but like... bringing up the ancient greeks and romans has very little to do with contemporary ... More
Well, "pegging" isn't under the BDSM category "strap it on" is and that phrase has more than one meaning and there are a lot of people who see being penetrated as a form of submission.

Anyway, all of that being said the subcategories were created years ago and we are working on reorganizing them and none of us agree that strap-on topics should be under BDSM. If you look around there are quite a number of head-scratchers when it comes to the subcats and we're aware of them and are working on trying to change them.
11/06/2012
RonLee RonLee
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
I don't pay attention to the labels. I've bought blindfolds, cuffs, slappers and crops that are traditional BDSM gear - but we don't use them that way. We use them to create new and very sensuous sensory experiences completely devoid of ... More
I agree, it's certainly not power exchange with us.
It's just plain fun!
11/06/2012
ScottA ScottA
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
Here's the thing, being penetrated has long been seen as a form of submission. Whether that's accurate or agreeable isn't really up for debate, but there really isn't a "better" category to put them in without pulling something out of thin air.
"Everyday Sex?"

Not strictly "Everyday", but it reduces the percieved stigma vs. "BDSM"
11/07/2012
kendra30752 kendra30752
Quote:
Originally posted by Kenneth Fort
OR did they just want this section to look bigger. I've never heard of them considered as such.
It totally depends on each person and what THEY'RE view of BDSM is. I'm more of a light BDSM'r and don't engage in hardcore pain, bleeding or harmful/hurtful activity. We don't gag and hit each other, but we use restraints and light pressure, never force either. We don't do strap ons at all, so it's really no matter for us, but yes, I see strap-ons fitting just fine in the BDSM section.
11/07/2012
MidnightStorm MidnightStorm
I don't really think strap-ons should be considered BDSM. I think LOTS of people are into them that don't necessarily like or dislike dominance
11/07/2012
hanjonatan hanjonatan
Quote:
Originally posted by ScottA
"Everyday Sex?"

Not strictly "Everyday", but it reduces the percieved stigma vs. "BDSM"
yeah, i don't see how it's not "everyday sex", tbh. especially because strap-ons are a part of a lot of people's everyday sex lives.
11/07/2012
ScottA ScottA
Quote:
Originally posted by hanjonatan
yeah, i don't see how it's not "everyday sex", tbh. especially because strap-ons are a part of a lot of people's everyday sex lives.
Or maybe just to "Sex Talk" and "Toy Talk" rather than trying to break out the categories.
11/07/2012
Mikemanz Mikemanz
no, not in my house!
11/08/2012
PrincessYagami PrincessYagami
It really does depend how you use it.
11/09/2012
Mikemanz Mikemanz
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
Ask the ancient Greeks and Romans? They're the ones who started this whole submission nonsense.
really?
11/10/2012
Vanille Vanille
Quote:
Originally posted by Kenneth Fort
OR did they just want this section to look bigger. I've never heard of them considered as such.
I don't consider 'em BDSM. I'm pretty certain 'nilla couples whip 'em out too.
11/10/2012
Kat and Aaron(aaron) Kat and Aaron(aaron)
Our strap on play doesn't fall into the BDSM category.
11/11/2012
emiliaa emiliaa
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
Here's the thing, being penetrated has long been seen as a form of submission. Whether that's accurate or agreeable isn't really up for debate, but there really isn't a "better" category to put them in without pulling something out of thin air.
Meh, I disagree that penetration=domination , necessarily... But I do agree that this is the best topic to put this under.
11/11/2012
hanjonatan hanjonatan
Quote:
Originally posted by Mikemanz
really?
haha seriously. how are the ancient greeks and romans relevant to a discussion about strap-ons and BDSM in 2012.

it's lazy analysis, anyway; being penetrated is seen as a submissive act because it's seen as something women do, and women are considered submissive to men, whereas to be a "real man" is to be sexually dominant. which is why it's extra jarring to see strap-ons under BDSM, because it serves to underscore that patriarchal notion - if you enjoy being penetrated, you are inherently submitting to the penetrating partner, because you are acting the part of a woman, which is to be submissive and subservient.

which is a load of rubbish, so.
11/13/2012
Roz W Roz W
Quote:
Originally posted by ScottA
"Everyday Sex?"

Not strictly "Everyday", but it reduces the percieved stigma vs. "BDSM"
Better yet, why not change the "Everyday Sex" heading to something like "Getting it on" or "doin' it"...something obviously /about/ sex that doesn't force categories of normal vs. abnormal.
11/13/2012
vanillaSpice vanillaSpice
I agree that this could really be categorized better under Everyday Sex - I was just looking for this subforum and got confused because it wasn't there! I ended up having to CTRL-F for it.

Philosophy of strap-ons 101 aside, I think it's just a mainstream enough thing now that it makes sense.
11/14/2012
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