Strapping on...without a partner?!

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Strapping on...without a partner?!

Triangles Triangles
The first time I ever bought a harness/strap-on dildo was when I was single and wasn't looking. I would just enjoy wearing it and pretending I had a hard-on, and also for jokes. Right now, I do have a girlfriend and use my tools for their purpose but I also like to wear it sometimes when I'm in the mood around the house.

However, I was wondering, what are you opinions on this?
Would you buy a strap-on just to wear for your own personal amusement?
Would you buy one "just in case"?
I would love to hear your opinions on this
08/05/2011
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Valentinka Valentinka
Quote:
Originally posted by Triangles
The first time I ever bought a harness/strap-on dildo was when I was single and wasn't looking. I would just enjoy wearing it and pretending I had a hard-on, and also for jokes. Right now, I do have a girlfriend and use my tools for their purpose ...
My answer is simple: why not? ) I mean, yes I would
08/05/2011
Wild Orchid Wild Orchid
I sometimes put the base of my Acute against my pubic bone and stroke it like it is my cock while thinking about fucking a cute boy. It's an interesting feeling.

Once I take care of purchasing the necessities (my clit vibe is falling apart and I'm using a bullet cut out from my rabbit to replace it; I don't have a butt-plug that can be inserted without difficulty; yada dada) I will definitely think about a harness. I feel it's something a girl interested in pegging cute boys and fucking other girls should definitely have in her emergency kit. Even when she is as socially stunted and virginal as me.
08/05/2011
Waterfall Waterfall
I want to try the Feeldoe, which is technically a strapless strap on and I am currently single. I kind of want to see what I would look like with a silicone penis and I want to see if my vaginal muscles can keep it in place. I hope I get to try it out soon. So, no I don't think it is strange at all, just being curious
08/05/2011
Ghost Ghost
I do this a lot with some of my glass dildos. I insert them and hold them in with my vaginal muscles and walk around. It amuses me to no end. >_>

I am also thinking of getting one of the Share's to do this as well.
08/06/2011
Ivy Wilde Ivy Wilde
I never thought about it before, but now I am. Though I think it might scare my husband to come home and find me walking around wearing a huge dildo.
08/06/2011
froggiemoma froggiemoma
dont think its strange... I've done it!
08/06/2011
jessterinthebed jessterinthebed
I don't think it is strange either, besides who decides what normal is?
08/07/2011
Booktease Booktease
Quote:
Originally posted by Triangles
The first time I ever bought a harness/strap-on dildo was when I was single and wasn't looking. I would just enjoy wearing it and pretending I had a hard-on, and also for jokes. Right now, I do have a girlfriend and use my tools for their purpose ...
I love strap on toys. There is something about feeling like a toy has suddenly become a part of you that is so fun. But I didn't own one before my partner. I guess I didn't understand why I should. But now that I've had one, I might think about it for my own sake.
08/08/2011
emiliaa emiliaa
If you want it, it sounds like fun! I don't think it's strange at all. I have plenty of friends who are bi-gendered and those who are biologically female might enjoy that XD Though me, I'm very feminine and female so I don't even know if I'd like to use one. Having one used on me by a very cute girl though ~ <3 mm.
08/25/2011
Shellz31 Shellz31
Yes, I bought my first harness awhile ago and I'm single. I have the Ultra Realistic Cock and Ass to practice pegging on which is the main reason I got the harness.
08/25/2011
mizzmilla mizzmilla
I wouldn't, but if my girlfriend did I wouldn't mind
08/25/2011
Rawhide Rawhide
I bought my first cock and harness when I was single. If you know you're interested in strap-on sex I would definitely have it on hand when the opportunities knock. Otherwise you're like the guy who waits until he's definitely getting laid to go buy condoms... "Uh, hold on, I, uh, gotta run a quick errand! Be right back!"

Plus these toys aren't exactly cheap, so its nice to take your time and shop around before all the blood starts rushing into your genitals and you start making rush decisions.
08/28/2011
Booktease Booktease
Quote:
Originally posted by Rawhide
I bought my first cock and harness when I was single. If you know you're interested in strap-on sex I would definitely have it on hand when the opportunities knock. Otherwise you're like the guy who waits until he's definitely getting ...
I love this comment.
08/29/2011
[Red] [Red]
I'm very curious about them and how it feels when a 'toy' is treated as part of one's body. I have fantasies about having and using a penis and I am envious of the cock in general, so I anticipate future escapades into this territory sometime.
08/29/2011
Booktease Booktease
Quote:
Originally posted by [Red]
I'm very curious about them and how it feels when a 'toy' is treated as part of one's body. I have fantasies about having and using a penis and I am envious of the cock in general, so I anticipate future escapades into this territory sometime.
Red: You should definitely try it out!

I really want to experiment with harness' that are closer to the skin and with less material. For a more 'bare' feel. We've only used really bulky (but nice) harnesses. I want something... sleeker.
08/29/2011
Sir Sir
Quote:
Originally posted by Booktease
Red: You should definitely try it out!

I really want to experiment with harness' that are closer to the skin and with less material. For a more 'bare' feel. We've only used really bulky (but nice) harnesses. I want something... sleeker.
Have you tried the Joque? I personally love it, it's wonderful. Another good one that I have is the new one that I just got, it's the...what's it called again...I believe it's called the Driver harness. I haven't tried the Commando, but I should soon, so we'll see if that one's bare, too. But Joque, definitely Joque. I love my Joque.
08/29/2011
Booktease Booktease
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
Have you tried the Joque? I personally love it, it's wonderful. Another good one that I have is the new one that I just got, it's the...what's it called again...I believe it's called the Driver harness. I haven't tried the ...
Oh, my goodness. Thank you for the suggestion! I would really love to find a harness that would let me really 'feel' and engage in the activity. I'm going to go look those up right now.
08/29/2011
Rawhide Rawhide
The Joque is super comfy, no doubt, but it's thick and feels kinda like a boxer's belt to me. I go for leather harnesses because, well, leather is skin and has the properties of skin. It will transfer body heat and conform to your own shape over time. It's like my second skin.

But the truth is, the connection with the toy as a part of you isn't going to happen based on what materials you use. It's gonna happen in your head, and in your partner's head. Less stuff between you is nice, but you might find more satisfaction by focusing on connecting your passion and your power with the toy and having your partner make that association as well. If you treat it like your cock, they will too. Take some time to get a feel for putting it on so that you can do it smoothly when the time is right (even though a bit of nervous fumbling the first time with someone you really like is understandable and should be taken as a compliment). Spend some time alone with your cock, lounging in bed or in front of a mirror, just to get used to it.

When you're with a partner, stroke your cock and have them feel it with their hands, let it absorb the body heat. Let them suck it, with their hand on the base pressing it up against you. If they do something that pleases you, make sure they know it
08/29/2011
Booktease Booktease
Quote:
Originally posted by Rawhide
The Joque is super comfy, no doubt, but it's thick and feels kinda like a boxer's belt to me. I go for leather harnesses because, well, leather is skin and has the properties of skin. It will transfer body heat and conform to your own shape ...
Right now we use a Vac-u-lock harness, and while that's pretty awesome sometimes, it doesn't allow for much skin to skin contact. Or, as you mentioned, flexbiity and body heat.

I think that I struggle a bit with the getting used to it, not giggling and fumbling. I am a pretty feminine person. I wear skirts and dresses almost all the time. I don't know that I could ever pull off (or feel comfortable with) a packing toy. But in the bedroom, I totally think strap-on sex is delightful and I love to be the wearer. I just haven't found a way to 'connect' with the toy.

(My inner self just said: 'Because you're still calling it a toy?')

Not to mention that the one we have right now is huge. Like whoa. I love the way it feels, but my partner feels like she's getting speared. And the other one we have is rubber. And not really very attractive. So its hard to connect with either of those.

I think there is a great disconnect in my head. Because I can't help but think, when I have it on: 'Just because I'm wearing this, doesn't mean I want one'. Because I don't really. I love what I've got beneath my skirt. But still.

I don't even know if half of this comment made sense. Hah.
08/29/2011
Rawhide Rawhide
Quote:
Originally posted by Booktease
Right now we use a Vac-u-lock harness, and while that's pretty awesome sometimes, it doesn't allow for much skin to skin contact. Or, as you mentioned, flexbiity and body heat.

I think that I struggle a bit with the getting used to ...
No worries, it makes total sense. Giggling and fumbling can be part of the fun, especially if you're the type that loves to laugh with partners in the bedroom (I know I am).

I know plenty of femmes who love to strap it on. I'm definitely not in the camp that says everyone who straps it on does so because they wish they had a flesh cock. I love my cunt and wouldn't trade it for the world. I was attracted to strap-ons because I wanted a way to penetrate my partner while still being face to face, to be able to kiss and touch them with my hands. Now that I've gotten deeply identified with having a cock, I would still choose the cocks I've got over one made of flesh because, while they don't have nerve endings (only downside), they never go down unexpectedly, never get diseases, they're there when I want them, gone when I don't, and they can be any size or shape I want. Plus they can't get anyone pregnant

So yeah, just because you are wearing one, does NOT mean you want a flesh one.

On calling it a toy... I use the word "toy" when speaking in general about dildos, because I know that not everyone wants to connect with their stuff the way I do. But when I talk about my stuff, it's always "my cock". Never "my toy". You might find a word that works better for you- dick, shlong, tool, prick, boner, pecker, package, unit, wang, chub, sausage, sword, staff... the list is endless. Using something that works for you and expresses your personality may help. Maybe something femme like... uh... stiletto? I'm no good at this...

Choosing stuff that really suits you and your preferences is also a really good idea to help connection. I know femmes who buy elaborate pink harnesses (check out Aslan Leather for those) and shiney silver glittery dicks (like the Leo). They look gorgeous. I invest alot of time and effort into getting stuff that fits my personality, and it's really gratifying to watch someone show love to something they heavily associate with who I am. This extends past cocks and sex toys too... watching someone shine my boots or sharpen my knives is also pleasurable. Those objects reflect me, so the care they are given reflects how that person feels about me.
08/29/2011
Booktease Booktease
Quote:
Originally posted by Rawhide
No worries, it makes total sense. Giggling and fumbling can be part of the fun, especially if you're the type that loves to laugh with partners in the bedroom (I know I am).

I know plenty of femmes who love to strap it on. I'm ...
Ah, yes. Thank you. Do you write for Eden Cafe? Because if not-- you should be.

I love the word cock, so I can't imagine calling it anything else, though 'stilleto' made me giggle. I think we've made good progress in the last four years. We went from never using toys, to experimenting with them, to buying our first strap on (actually, someone bought the first one for us as a gift, but it was a dud). And I'm actually finally comfortable enough to enjoy watching her put it in her mouth. At first, I thought: 'Oh, man. This is way too heterocentric for me." But then I realized.

Dude. I know this girl. She doesn't like boys. She likes me. And she likes what I'm giving to her, no matter how I go about it. And that made it easier. Because it is pleasurable to watch, even if there aren't, obviously, nerve endings there.

I love what yous said about 'the care they are given reflects how that person feels about me'. That's perfect.
08/29/2011
Rawhide Rawhide
Quote:
Originally posted by Booktease
Ah, yes. Thank you. Do you write for Eden Cafe? Because if not-- you should be.

I love the word cock, so I can't imagine calling it anything else, though 'stilleto' made me giggle. I think we've made good progress in the last ...
Sounds like you are on the right track

Nope, haven't heard of Eden Cafe, but I have been looking for more writing avenues. Still trying to get upgraded to advanced reviewer. Loving this site so far though.
08/29/2011
babychika babychika
I am buying a strap on soon, just dont know which one is the best quality one. Many i have seen are so unappealing when being worn.
08/29/2011
Booktease Booktease
Quote:
Originally posted by Rawhide
Sounds like you are on the right track

Nope, haven't heard of Eden Cafe, but I have been looking for more writing avenues. Still trying to get upgraded to advanced reviewer. Loving this site so far though.
I'd love to see you as an advanced reviewer! I think you'd review things I'd enjoy learning more about. I've already 'followed' you and started looking at the reviews you've got up.

You should definitely check out Eden Cafe. The perks are great and its a lot of fun. I submitted a few articles about my wedding and being gay in the south.
08/29/2011
Beaners Beaners
My boyfriend bought the harness we have before we were even dating. He bought it with the intention of his at the time girlfriend using it and she absolutely refused. (Silly girl doesnt know what she missed out on.) When he first brought it up to me, he actually suggested just wearing it around the house and getting used to it and checking it out before we actually ever did anything with it. It really was a great way to get comfortable with it. Every now and then I think about strapping up and using his Fleshlight, just for kicks. But I haven't yet.
09/01/2011
Beaners Beaners
Quote:
Originally posted by Booktease
Right now we use a Vac-u-lock harness, and while that's pretty awesome sometimes, it doesn't allow for much skin to skin contact. Or, as you mentioned, flexbiity and body heat.

I think that I struggle a bit with the getting used to ...
I know this convo has already kind of played out, but I'd like to be "that girl" and give you another recommendation for a harness. I'm like you, pretty feminine with a small build, and we have the Mia-Z harness and it is awesome. It's very low riding and has minimal bulk, yet if you position it right, it allows for a good amount of control. And comes in an adorable pink color. We actually wrote in the review that it keeps me looking cute and feminine even when i have a big ol' cock strapped to the front of me lol! Although Rawhide is right, it doesn't matter what kind of harness or cock you're wearing if you're not in the right mindset. However, it might be a step in the right direction. it's hard to get into the right mindset when you feel that you look silly.
09/01/2011
Kirill1171 Kirill1171
Nice)
02/11/2012
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Unique posters: 18