BDSM Newbie

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BDSM Newbie

Miss Nessa Miss Nessa
I'm extremely curious about BDSM (I know that covers a large spectrum). I don't know too much about it, but I love what I know. I'm always looking in the bdsm section here on EF; my problem is I don't know where to start. I've talked to my partner about it; he likes the Idea, but is always worried about someone getting hurt. I ask him what he would like to try, but he’s as clueless as me.

soo..

Let’s say you are in a sex store. A newbie someone who doesn't know, doesn't own any type of bdsm items. That person came to you and asked.

What would you think is the best items for newbies?

Any tips? Or tricks?

Best books for reading if any?

Information you wish someone would have told you when you were first learning?

I want to jump into this head first.

Any information would be amazing...
08/09/2011
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sexyintexas sexyintexas
I would look at a light paddle, there are a few here that are great for beginners. Not too intimidating but deliver enough of a sting to see if it is something that you want to try. Maybe a set like this. I have it, its inexpensive but will let you tread lightly into it and see if you like it.link
08/09/2011
Dawn (Lilac Distraction) Dawn (Lilac Distraction)
Quote:
Originally posted by Miss Nessa
I'm extremely curious about BDSM (I know that covers a large spectrum). I don't know too much about it, but I love what I know. I'm always looking in the bdsm section here on EF; my problem is I don't know where to start. I've ...
I'm just the type of person to ask. I work in a store and get asked this all the time!

I'd say start with something simple like Our First Bondage Kit. It's got four cuffs and a blindfold, and it's super comfortable, but not intimidating.

Talk to your partner about what kind of sensations they might be into. If they're into experimenting with spanking or anything like that, there are a lot of great, cheaper, paddles out there that are great for bondage.

A lot of the more sensual bondage stuff, like satin blindfolds/cuffs, and feather ticklers, will help you transition.

I'd also look at something like a Wartenberg Pinwheel. There are two types on here. The first one, even thought it looks intimidating, provides more of a tickling sensation than pain. I love mine and used it to open the BDSM door with my lover.

You'll have to figure out which one of you is dominant and which one is submissive, or if you're both switch. Once you go from there, you can find books that suit you. You can also read some erotica to give you some ideas. We have a great selection.

The biggest part of BDSM is communicating with your partner and making sure you're both comfortable. Look at different items together, consider ones that you like . . .

It's not that hard to get the hang of.
08/09/2011
sexyintexas sexyintexas
Quote:
Originally posted by Dawn (Lilac Distraction)
I'm just the type of person to ask. I work in a store and get asked this all the time!

I'd say start with something simple like Our First Bondage Kit. It's got four cuffs and a blindfold, and it's super comfortable, but not ...
And its great fun!
08/09/2011
Miss Nessa Miss Nessa
Quote:
Originally posted by Dawn (Lilac Distraction)
I'm just the type of person to ask. I work in a store and get asked this all the time!

I'd say start with something simple like Our First Bondage Kit. It's got four cuffs and a blindfold, and it's super comfortable, but not ...
Miss Debauchery, I think I've just fallen in love with you! You are amazing you answered all of my questions. I'm gonna give those items a try. I want to try different type of sensations. I thought abot getting the jimmyjane simpler hot candle set.

We have yet to figure out who is submissive or dominant. I'm thinking he is more dominant at times. He's all for tying me up, a slap here and there. He does not mind his arms and legs being tied up, but thats about all. I figured maybe when we get more into it, that chain of thought would change.

See, I just learned something new! I had no idea that the roll of dominant and submissive could swich up. I thought it was you are "This" and I'm "This" and thats how it is.
08/09/2011
Miss Nessa Miss Nessa
Quote:
Originally posted by sexyintexas
I would look at a light paddle, there are a few here that are great for beginners. Not too intimidating but deliver enough of a sting to see if it is something that you want to try. Maybe a set like this. I have it, its inexpensive but will let you ...
I seen that too, but I was unsure if that would deliver much feeling. I'm willing to try it. Qick question, is there a huge difference in feeling when it comes to paddles and whips?
08/09/2011
Callisto Callisto
Love this post! I was wondering the same thing.
08/09/2011
Miss Nessa Miss Nessa
Quote:
Originally posted by Callisto
Love this post! I was wondering the same thing.
Ha-ha it's good to know I'm not the only fish out of water.
08/09/2011
sexyintexas sexyintexas
Quote:
Originally posted by Miss Nessa
I seen that too, but I was unsure if that would deliver much feeling. I'm willing to try it. Qick question, is there a huge difference in feeling when it comes to paddles and whips?
Normally whips deliver a little more sting but it really just depends. I have paddles that only deliver a mild sting and some that make your eyes water. Its really a matter of preference. Once you try a couple, you will know what works best for you. IMO a paddle to start helps you localize it, so no one gets carried away. You have to be careful about how you approach it because you can cause injury if you get close to vital organs and such.
08/09/2011
Miss Nessa Miss Nessa
Quote:
Originally posted by sexyintexas
Normally whips deliver a little more sting but it really just depends. I have paddles that only deliver a mild sting and some that make your eyes water. Its really a matter of preference. Once you try a couple, you will know what works best for you. ...
Okay, I'm gonna stay away form wips(at least for now) I'll start with a paddle. I don't think I want something that could bring a tear to my eyes. Thank you so much! You have been so helpful. We are going to take it nice and easy, the last thing I want is either one of us to get hurt.
08/09/2011
Dawn (Lilac Distraction) Dawn (Lilac Distraction)
Quote:
Originally posted by Miss Nessa
Okay, I'm gonna stay away form wips(at least for now) I'll start with a paddle. I don't think I want something that could bring a tear to my eyes. Thank you so much! You have been so helpful. We are going to take it nice and easy, the ...
Some crops are good too. They have a nice little bite to them, but don't leave behind much of a sting. When you hit someone with one, it sounds a lot more painful than it actually is. I know we've got some of the feather crops here, too. I'd make sure to read the reviews to make sure you know what to expect from each thing.

A lot of the "Light BDSM Kits" on this site are very beginner friendly, as well.
08/09/2011
iwantyouwantingme iwantyouwantingme
Quote:
Originally posted by Dawn (Lilac Distraction)
I'm just the type of person to ask. I work in a store and get asked this all the time!

I'd say start with something simple like Our First Bondage Kit. It's got four cuffs and a blindfold, and it's super comfortable, but not ...
Perfection, That is amazing advice.
10/17/2011
Dusk Dusk
I'm always a fan of reading - BDSM 101 by Jay Wiseman is a good one, as is Sensuous Magic by Patrick Califia.
10/17/2011
Collogue Collogue
Quote:
Originally posted by Miss Nessa
I'm extremely curious about BDSM (I know that covers a large spectrum). I don't know too much about it, but I love what I know. I'm always looking in the bdsm section here on EF; my problem is I don't know where to start. I've ...
spanking is a good place to start

communication is always important

I always want to experiment with a little of everything!
11/11/2011
Mistress Jezebel Mistress Jezebel
Paddles make a great choice no matter what kind of play youre into
11/11/2011
Drakoni Drakoni
Thank you for posting this. I'm a newbie at this as well. But, I want to learn since my mate has been asking about being tied up and blindfolded...and it sounds interesting.
11/20/2011
CadmiumKitty CadmiumKitty
handcuffs
04/30/2012
gsfanatic gsfanatic
handcuffs and blindfolds.
04/30/2012
Total posts: 18
Unique posters: 11