Eden Flicks/Eden Kink Discussion: Secretary. January 17 at 8 PM EDT

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Eden Flicks/Eden Kink Discussion: Secretary. January 17 at 8 PM EDT

Rayne Millaray Rayne Millaray
So we've already mentioned the cutting and the abusive father. Was there anything else that made you uncomfortable about the movie?
01/17/2012
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
So what did we NOT like about the movie?
01/17/2012
winterseve winterseve
I cut as a teen as a way to bring emotional pain to physical. It was very satisfying. But I wasn't ever suicidal. It was a release.
01/17/2012
Antipova Antipova
Quote:
Originally posted by biancajames
I would imagine it would depend on how serious the cutting is. It's usually symptomatic of a bigger Dx. What I do think this brings up is the ways people use kink to battle their demons or work through/perpetuate their issues.
Good final sentence.
01/17/2012
Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by wrmbreze
AAhh, now that I can see. Many cutters aren't suicidal though, right???
In my experience with other cutters (which I admit isn't tons and I'm not a doctor or any expert by any means) most aren't actually suicidal. At least not the ones I've had experience with. And the ones that were a bit suicidal always tried stuff like pills rather than cutting. Fortunately it didn't work.

A person very close to me cuts on a somewhat regular basis, and I hate that they do, but I know that they're not suicidal. To them, the pain feels good and is something they can control. From my research, that seems to be what a lot of cutting is about, being able to control pain and for some of them it feels good. Again, I'm not an expert by any means.
01/17/2012
AndroAngel AndroAngel
Hm, the cutting isn't a trigger for me. I cut, and I only avoid it now because there are more efficient ways for me to get my fix without leaving as many marks. Still into knife play, and working up to bloodplay with my partner.

That said, I think it could be triggery for me because of the nature of consent. Good consent versus consent from deep seated issues.
01/17/2012
biancajames biancajames
Quote:
Originally posted by AndroAngel
I can get the whole cutting for masochistic pleasure thing, I've been there.

I'm not sure how I feel about the abusive father, though, it strikes me as a reaffirmation of the negative stereotypes the kinky often face.
I've always thought it's interesting that if I cut myself, it's considered self harm. But if I am cut as part of a BDSM scene, it's less stigmatized (at least within kink). Fakir Musafar (father of body piercing in the US) actually believes that in some cases self-cutting can be used as a way to claim the body and have a spiritual experience, though obviously it's not true for everyone...anyway, getting off topic here!
01/17/2012
Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
Quote:
Originally posted by Rayne Millaray
So we've already mentioned the cutting and the abusive father. Was there anything else that made you uncomfortable about the movie?
I don't like Peter. From a writing standpoint I understand why his character is there...but I just don't like him. It didn't make me uncomfortable at all, he just annoys me.
01/17/2012
Serenesub Serenesub
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
I have things to say about this. Just hold that thought!
It is a mainstream movie. There are always aspects of negative stereotyping in it to explain something or brush it off or just present in the background. I don't like it either.. I'm kinky, I'm owned, but I don't have an abusive background. I think the only way that the whole story would be told.. a fully rounded one at least would have to be a kinky production. Those in the lifestyle produce it. Otherwise it's just going to further the stereotype. You're right.
01/17/2012
biancajames biancajames
Quote:
Originally posted by Rayne Millaray
So we've already mentioned the cutting and the abusive father. Was there anything else that made you uncomfortable about the movie?
I thought the ending seemed a little too happily ever after. I didn't buy it.
01/17/2012
wrmbreze wrmbreze
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
In my experience with other cutters (which I admit isn't tons and I'm not a doctor or any expert by any means) most aren't actually suicidal. At least not the ones I've had experience with. And the ones that were a bit suicidal ...
That was my understanding of cutting, that it was a control issue
01/17/2012
lexical lexical
Quote:
Originally posted by biancajames
I've always thought it's interesting that if I cut myself, it's considered self harm. But if I am cut as part of a BDSM scene, it's less stigmatized (at least within kink). Fakir Musafar (father of body piercing in the US) actually ...
Wow, that's very interesting. I've only ever heard of it being regarded as a harmful, negative practice. I might have to read more about that!
01/17/2012
Serenesub Serenesub
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
I don't like Peter. From a writing standpoint I understand why his character is there...but I just don't like him. It didn't make me uncomfortable at all, he just annoys me.
Heh. Me too!
01/17/2012
wrmbreze wrmbreze
Quote:
Originally posted by lexical
Wow, that's very interesting. I've only ever heard of it being regarded as a harmful, negative practice. I might have to read more about that!
Seems to me that this type of movie would make people think all kink started in an abusive way.
01/17/2012
lexical lexical
Something I do not like about this movie isss...

There's not enough spanking. Just kidding I don't think there's much of anything I dislike. James Spader really does it for me. lmao

Although...I do feel terrible for her fiance That's a thing I don't like, but it's still an important part of the movie. Turning away from a chance at "normalcy" and really claiming her identity.
01/17/2012
Serenesub Serenesub
Quote:
Originally posted by lexical
Wow, that's very interesting. I've only ever heard of it being regarded as a harmful, negative practice. I might have to read more about that!
Depending on who you talk to ALL kink is regarded as a harmful negative practice
01/17/2012
Rayne Millaray Rayne Millaray
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
I don't like Peter. From a writing standpoint I understand why his character is there...but I just don't like him. It didn't make me uncomfortable at all, he just annoys me.
Lol. He annoys me too.
01/17/2012
Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
Quote:
Originally posted by lexical
Wow, that's very interesting. I've only ever heard of it being regarded as a harmful, negative practice. I might have to read more about that!
There are some very intelligent, well educated people that I've seen write about cutting from an autobiographical stance that have determined it to be a coping mechanism. I'm not sure if I agree or not because it could be harmful if done improperly...but I also know people that jog as a coping skill - which could also be harmful. Obviously not to the same extent and I am NOT comparing jogging to cutting as an even activity in any way, but the thought process behind it is interesting.
01/17/2012
winterseve winterseve
I agree. I don't like Peter. He was annoying to me. And the laundry scenes bugged me. I also was a little bothered by that ending. Could have been better, but it was a way to tie it up I guess all sunny on the porch waiting for Master to return.
01/17/2012
Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by wrmbreze
That was my understanding of cutting, that it was a control issue
That's one of the things my psychiatrist had explained to me. I've also been accused of getting tattoos and piercings as a way to "work around" the whole cutting issue. Well, "accused" isn't the right word, but she seemed very concerned about it. I kept assuring her that there were much more economical ways to bring myself pain if that's all I was after, lol.
01/17/2012
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by Rayne Millaray
So we've already mentioned the cutting and the abusive father. Was there anything else that made you uncomfortable about the movie?
Oh, I've been hanging onto these thoughts for a while. OK.

The story is very plausible. A guy who likes to dominate encounters a girl who likes/needs pain as a release. They meet. They test the boundaries of their relationship. People like this exist.

HOWEVER:

What I don't like is that this movie is an introductory lesson for people and kink. If someone were to take this as a stereotypical D/s relationship, they're likely to believe that it takes someone who is on the brink of psychopathy to like dominating others and/or someone who is irreparably damaged to want to be dominated.
01/17/2012
AndroAngel AndroAngel
Quote:
Originally posted by wrmbreze
Seems to me that this type of movie would make people think all kink started in an abusive way.
That was my opinion from what I know about it. I'm hoping to learn more before I watch it because I don't actively seek things that upset me.
01/17/2012
biancajames biancajames
Quote:
Originally posted by lexical
Wow, that's very interesting. I've only ever heard of it being regarded as a harmful, negative practice. I might have to read more about that!
There's a whole book written by a psychologist from this perspective, message me later and I can look up the title...Fakir himself is incredibly fascinating.
01/17/2012
wrmbreze wrmbreze
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
That's one of the things my psychiatrist had explained to me. I've also been accused of getting tattoos and piercings as a way to "work around" the whole cutting issue. Well, "accused" isn't the right word, but she ...
I like tattoos, I only have one but I want many many more.
01/17/2012
Serenesub Serenesub
Quote:
Originally posted by wrmbreze
Seems to me that this type of movie would make people think all kink started in an abusive way.
Or that it's all romanticized and ends picture perfectly and then new subs come in expecting this. They jump into things expecting the movie and get hurt or disappointed or numerous other things. That's one aspect I've always disliked about this movie.
01/17/2012
Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
Quote:
Originally posted by Serenesub
Heh. Me too!
They simply had to show another weaker personality to show the viewer what Lee wasn't getting, etc. and I get that. But his weakness just...irks me. The way he sits on the couch facing her staring while she's talking to his parents on the couch totally creeps me out.
01/17/2012
biancajames biancajames
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
Oh, I've been hanging onto these thoughts for a while. OK.

The story is very plausible. A guy who likes to dominate encounters a girl who likes/needs pain as a release. They meet. They test the boundaries of their relationship. People like ...
You nailed it!
01/17/2012
winterseve winterseve
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
Oh, I've been hanging onto these thoughts for a while. OK.

The story is very plausible. A guy who likes to dominate encounters a girl who likes/needs pain as a release. They meet. They test the boundaries of their relationship. People like ...
Very good point.
01/17/2012
Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
Quote:
Originally posted by winterseve
I agree. I don't like Peter. He was annoying to me. And the laundry scenes bugged me. I also was a little bothered by that ending. Could have been better, but it was a way to tie it up I guess all sunny on the porch waiting for Master to return.
Waiting to return with her having pushed a limit...it gives it interesting continuance.
01/17/2012
biancajames biancajames
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
They simply had to show another weaker personality to show the viewer what Lee wasn't getting, etc. and I get that. But his weakness just...irks me. The way he sits on the couch facing her staring while she's talking to his parents on the ...
The funny thing is the first time I saw this I was trapped in a vanilla relationship where I cheated to get my kink needs met, and I sooooo related to the scenario with Peter...
01/17/2012
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