One of the biggest misconceptions I've heard is that the BDSM lifestyle is all about the sex and people getting naked together. In fact, that's what I thought when I first got involved in the community. I realized after getting involved, though, that it's more about the lifestyle than the sex.
Most people in BDSM are in the community, or into kink, because it's a part of them or it's something fun to explore. Many people who play publicly at parties rarely have sex afterward. I know personally that BDSM doesn't turn me on to want to have sex. Many people separate kink from sex, though many incorporate it into their sex lives.
BDSM is very much about the connections made with people and not all about the sex...at least from my experience