Eden Kink - Misconceptions in BDSM June 15, 2011 8 PM EST

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Eden Kink - Misconceptions in BDSM June 15, 2011 8 PM EST

Antipova Antipova
Just dropped over from the Edenlink interview... are things still warming up?
06/15/2011
Serenesub Serenesub
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
I want to take this opportunity to thank Sam (aka Jul!a) for being here for every discussion and for guiding me along. She's been an awesome manager and even though I've probably given her a few gray hairs, she's really made me realize ...
Agreed! Thank you. ... to both of you actually.
06/15/2011
VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
Quote:
Originally posted by Wondermom
awww I missed a tutorial on how to make beating implements!
It's in the Eden Kink link from last month. I'll send you the link after the meeting.
06/15/2011
Wondermom Wondermom
Quote:
Originally posted by Emma (Girl With Fire)
If I had thought it was, I wouldn't have come.
we could shock you awake
06/15/2011
VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
Quote:
Originally posted by Antipova
Just dropped over from the Edenlink interview... are things still warming up?
Yes, actually. We're about to start!
06/15/2011
Serenesub Serenesub
Quote:
Originally posted by Wondermom
we could shock you awake
I'm going to second the shocking things. Electricity toys are ever so loverly.
06/15/2011
Antipova Antipova
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
Yes, actually. We're about to start!
Great, hi!
06/15/2011
sexyintexas sexyintexas
Hi everyone, what a great q&a with Pipedreams.
06/15/2011
VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
What are some misconceptions in BDSM that you all have heard? I want to start this discussion by addressing the misconceptions you have heard and such in the past
06/15/2011
Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
Quote:
Originally posted by Wondermom
we could shock you awake
I would do it myself but I haven't picked up my replacement pads yet..... I'm thinking I need to stock up so I might buy 3 packs.
06/15/2011
KinkyKrissy KinkyKrissy
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
It's in the Eden Kink link from last month. I'll send you the link after the meeting.
Could you send me the link too please?
06/15/2011
Wondermom Wondermom
Quote:
Originally posted by sexyintexas
Hi everyone, what a great q&a with Pipedreams.
it was, nice to hear more BDSM products are coming soon
06/15/2011
Sir Sir
"Abuse. It's all abuse."

Hear this one CONSTANTLY!
06/15/2011
PunkyB PunkyB
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
What are some misconceptions in BDSM that you all have heard? I want to start this discussion by addressing the misconceptions you have heard and such in the past
The main things I have gotten are that something is wrong or your a freak for needing that sort of thing
06/15/2011
Serenesub Serenesub
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
What are some misconceptions in BDSM that you all have heard? I want to start this discussion by addressing the misconceptions you have heard and such in the past
That all subs are doormats. That you have to fit into the labels. That all dominants are assholes. That there is only one true way to do things. That you have to submit to every man that requests it. That all subs are pain sluts ....to name a few.
06/15/2011
VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
One of the biggest misconceptions I've heard is that the BDSM lifestyle is all about the sex and people getting naked together. In fact, that's what I thought when I first got involved in the community. I realized after getting involved, though, that it's more about the lifestyle than the sex.

Most people in BDSM are in the community, or into kink, because it's a part of them or it's something fun to explore. Many people who play publicly at parties rarely have sex afterward. I know personally that BDSM doesn't turn me on to want to have sex. Many people separate kink from sex, though many incorporate it into their sex lives.

BDSM is very much about the connections made with people and not all about the sex...at least from my experience
06/15/2011
sexyintexas sexyintexas
Quote:
Originally posted by Serenesub
I'm going to second the shocking things. Electricity toys are ever so loverly.
Im ordering Shock Therapy tonight!
06/15/2011
Sir Sir
Oh, that reminds me. Another one, that all submissives have no self-confidence, self-esteem, self-worth, or pride.
06/15/2011
Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
What are some misconceptions in BDSM that you all have heard? I want to start this discussion by addressing the misconceptions you have heard and such in the past
The only reason people LIKE to be hurt is because they are trying to relive a past trauma. Or overshadow their emotional pain.
06/15/2011
Antipova Antipova
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
What are some misconceptions in BDSM that you all have heard? I want to start this discussion by addressing the misconceptions you have heard and such in the past
When I first started sharing with my boyfriend that I wanted to explore submission a bit, he got worried and asked "Do you mean like a dungeon? Or wearing masks?" obviously distressed. It took a bit to convince him that being submissive does *not* go hand in hand with wearing masks.

Loooong discussion.
06/15/2011
Wondermom Wondermom
"only perverts and sickos enjoy stuff like that, its wrong"

this is one I used to hold myself before I started researching and opening my mind
06/15/2011
Serenesub Serenesub
Quote:
Originally posted by sexyintexas
Im ordering Shock Therapy tonight!
Ohhh I have a jealous!
06/15/2011
Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
I want to take this opportunity to thank Sam (aka Jul!a) for being here for every discussion and for guiding me along. She's been an awesome manager and even though I've probably given her a few gray hairs, she's really made me realize ...
Aww, all of you do such a great job kissing my ass
06/15/2011
Wondermom Wondermom
Quote:
Originally posted by sexyintexas
Im ordering Shock Therapy tonight!
congrats on your new icicles 24
06/15/2011
Sir Sir
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
One of the biggest misconceptions I've heard is that the BDSM lifestyle is all about the sex and people getting naked together. In fact, that's what I thought when I first got involved in the community. I realized after getting involved, ...
Mm, I agree. It can be about sex, but it's generally not solely, and sometimes not even at all, about that! Of course, sex is wonderful and it's great to incorporate the lifestyle into that form of "playtime," but it's not always the case.
06/15/2011
Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
What are some misconceptions in BDSM that you all have heard? I want to start this discussion by addressing the misconceptions you have heard and such in the past
That everybody who's into kink is crazy. That's one I've heard.
06/15/2011
VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
"Abuse. It's all abuse."

Hear this one CONSTANTLY!
"Abuse. It's all abuse."

I've heard this argument several times myself. There is a fine line between abuse and BDSM. I actually wrote a paper on BDSM where a case was brought to court on behalf of a woman who claimed she was abused in a BDSM situation. If you google "Jodie BDSM case" it should come up. It's an interesting argument, but the difference between abuse and fun is defined. It's called consent.

BDSM is all about CONSENT. The majority of people involved in BDSM do nothing before getting consent from the other person. Playing safe is better than getting brought to court later because there was no negotiation or consent at the time of the play.
06/15/2011
Serenesub Serenesub
To expand on the abuse thing, there are those even in the lifestyle that say that anything beyond _____ (usually what they do and are comfortable with) is abuse. When there are people that consider just regular rough sex abuse.
06/15/2011
sexyintexas sexyintexas
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
What are some misconceptions in BDSM that you all have heard? I want to start this discussion by addressing the misconceptions you have heard and such in the past
I was always under the impression that it was a bunch of degenerates until I became one of said people. Now I know that it is a little bit of everybody, every walk of life, young and old alike.
06/15/2011
Antipova Antipova
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
Oh, that reminds me. Another one, that all submissives have no self-confidence, self-esteem, self-worth, or pride.
Or have Freudian issues.

Thanks for knowing otherwise, Sir!
06/15/2011
Total posts: 300
Unique posters: 23