Eden Kink - Misconceptions in BDSM June 15, 2011 8 PM EST

  • Christmas shipping schedule

Eden Kink - Misconceptions in BDSM June 15, 2011 8 PM EST

VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
Quote:
Originally posted by PunkyB
Is that mainly due to the leather community being so active?
I believe so, yes.
06/15/2011
Sir Sir
Quote:
Originally posted by Serenesub
I agree. I've been punished physically but it wasn't an out of control, you pissed me off and now you'll pay for it type of situation.
Yeah, I understand that completely. I am out of that relationship where I lost control and could not, as VieuxCarre put it, give punishment with a clear mind.
06/15/2011
Jul!a Jul!a
Wow, I'm learning a lot here just by reading.
06/15/2011
VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
Quote:
Originally posted by Emma (Girl With Fire)
The only thing you want to make sure you make VERY clear in that situation is that it is not your daughters (if you have one) duty to take care of a man like you do her daddy. Also you want to make sure your son does not grow up with the expectation ...
Oh, absolutely! We plan to educate our future children when they are old enough to understand that not everyone lives the way we do. They will respect each other and the people around them...or there will be HELL to pay
06/15/2011
sexyintexas sexyintexas
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
All dominants are sadistic, womanizing assholes.

While my Master might be a sadistic asshole sometimes (who am I kidding? I love it) he is not like that all the time. In fact, the majority of dominants are sadistic only in a scene with ...
I have found that most doms have genuine affection for their subs. It's not just someone to take out aggression on.
06/15/2011
VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
Quote:
Originally posted by sexyintexas
I have found that most doms have genuine affection for their subs. It's not just someone to take out aggression on.
Absolutely. Mine cares deeply for me as do most dominants who aren't in it for a piece of ass or instant submission.
06/15/2011
KinkyKrissy KinkyKrissy
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
Wow, I'm learning a lot here just by reading.
Agreed. I love learning about BDSM and the lifestyle.
06/15/2011
Serenesub Serenesub
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
Absolutely. Mine cares deeply for me as do most dominants who aren't in it for a piece of ass or instant submission.
There are quite a few of those. Fake dominants.
06/15/2011
Wondermom Wondermom
The self confidence issue with subs really hits home for me, I am an OCD controlling freak in normal life, but it took a lot of trust and confidence with my husband to submit and let him take control during sex and other activities.
06/15/2011
PunkyB PunkyB
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
All dominants are sadistic, womanizing assholes.

While my Master might be a sadistic asshole sometimes (who am I kidding? I love it) he is not like that all the time. In fact, the majority of dominants are sadistic only in a scene with ...
Anybody can be an asshole...Its not specific to any community.

I like that people in the BDSM community are open. If your into more than one person you dont hide it. Its not womanizing its just your prefrence.
06/15/2011
sexyintexas sexyintexas
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
Absolutely. Mine cares deeply for me as do most dominants who aren't in it for a piece of ass or instant submission.
Mine as well. When it's all said and done he is right there to hold and pamper.
06/15/2011
Sir Sir
I actually cannot be a proper Dominant to someone unless I have an emotional attachment too them. In order for me to desire and actually want their submission, I need that piece. I can Dom someone for play, like in a dungeon setting, quite easily, but to actually have someone be my slave 24/7, I need more than just play compatibility.
06/15/2011
VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
Once you've stated you're one thing you can NEVER EVER CHANGE IT.

Fuck that noise. If anyone tells you that you have to be submissive because you said you were when you went to a party, screw them. You may start off submissive, but that doesn't mean that will be who you are for all time. I'm submissive and I always will be. Master was an owned slave to a Mistress a long time ago and he learned how to BE a good Master for me through that relationship. You can be who you want to be and explore what you want in kink. It's not an end all be all type deal.
06/15/2011
Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
Oh, absolutely! We plan to educate our future children when they are old enough to understand that not everyone lives the way we do. They will respect each other and the people around them...or there will be HELL to pay
That's very awesome.
06/15/2011
[Red] [Red]
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
There is nothing wrong with intimacy other than one's own partner because some people are compatible on the bdsm level but not on other levels. I may have a partner who I love who is completely vanilla, but I need someone to fill the BDSM part of ...
It does help, thank you. It also raises a slew of other questions, not the least of which being: is it common for people in the lifestyle to be romantically/sexually spoken for but play with others on a platonic level? Perhaps I simply haven't been exposed to the scene long enough, but I've observed more people who play either with their sexual partners or have agreements with said partners to play sexually/non-platonica lly with others. I could easily be mistaken, but it seems more common for polyamorous relationships to occur amongst play partners rather than keeping the level of intimacy strictly non-sexual/romantic.

It seems the ideal D/s relationship demands a great deal of investment from all parties involved, so the idea of that relation being relegated to a 'casual' play or to something aside from complete devotion is strange to me. That could easily be my ignorance speaking, however, so take this with a grain of salt. I understand there is a difference between those who live a BDSM lifestyle and those who participate in sessions of BDSM play, but I'm not sure how wide the spectrum actually is or where along it my questions actually apply.

Perhaps it's the idea of splitting parts of oneself between people instead of seeking one person who can complement oneself as a whole that my comfort zone-- and admittedly, logic-- has trouble seeing the merit of. Would one treat one's BDSM play partners like friends, or something else?
06/15/2011
bluekaren bluekaren
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
Once you've stated you're one thing you can NEVER EVER CHANGE IT.

Fuck that noise. If anyone tells you that you have to be submissive because you said you were when you went to a party, screw them. You may start off submissive, but ...
That is awesome to hear, oh Hi everyone!
06/15/2011
Serenesub Serenesub
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
Once you've stated you're one thing you can NEVER EVER CHANGE IT.

Fuck that noise. If anyone tells you that you have to be submissive because you said you were when you went to a party, screw them. You may start off submissive, but ...
Totally. I started out as submissive, then gravitated into slave... and now? I'm a mix of both with a lot of cunt thrown in. (cunt = doesn't really fit into either sub or slave labels has some freedom but still totally enslaved, generally smart assy, etc)... I call myself a slub. A mix of all three because just one doesn't work for me.
06/15/2011
sexyintexas sexyintexas
Quote:
Originally posted by PunkyB
Anybody can be an asshole...Its not specific to any community.

I like that people in the BDSM community are open. If your into more than one person you dont hide it. Its not womanizing its just your prefrence.
And it's a choice. I choose just like he does to participate in this lifestyle. We have a better relationship now than we had the first 15 years that we knew eachother, are more open with eachothers wants and needs.
06/15/2011
sexyintexas sexyintexas
Quote:
Originally posted by PunkyB
Anybody can be an asshole...Its not specific to any community.

I like that people in the BDSM community are open. If your into more than one person you dont hide it. Its not womanizing its just your prefrence.
And it's a choice. I choose just like he does to participate in this lifestyle. We have a better relationship now than we had the first 15 years that we knew eachother, are more open with eachothers wants and needs.
06/15/2011
VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
EVERYONE is kinky.

False. Not everyone is kinky. Some people are not into kink whatsoever and it doesn't interest them. There isn't a switch you can flip to make someone suddenly become interested in kink. It's kind of like being homosexual. You're born that way. You can't just "decide" one day that that's how you are and what you're into. It may take you years to realize you're into it, but some people aren't born that way. Some people aren't born kinky and they will never discover that they like it in their life. A lot of people don't take that into consideration and say "I brought my husband over to the dark side, but he doesn't like it." Well, he's not into it. What you're into isn't necessarily what he's into and he can't just up and decide that he likes kink if he really doesn't deep down inside. There is nothing you can do to change it, either.

I will say, though, that there are a lot of closet kinksters who don't go out and explore on their own who need a bit of guidance to explore and learn. Again, not everyone is like that, though.
06/15/2011
sexyintexas sexyintexas
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
I actually cannot be a proper Dominant to someone unless I have an emotional attachment too them. In order for me to desire and actually want their submission, I need that piece. I can Dom someone for play, like in a dungeon setting, quite easily, ...
<----is feeling my heart well up for you. I think for most that truer words could not be spoken.
06/15/2011
PunkyB PunkyB
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
Once you've stated you're one thing you can NEVER EVER CHANGE IT.

Fuck that noise. If anyone tells you that you have to be submissive because you said you were when you went to a party, screw them. You may start off submissive, but ...
Still havent figured this one out for myself...
06/15/2011
[Red] [Red]
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
Well, I don't play with others on a BDSM or sexual level. Master and I have our sex life and we have our BDSM life. In my past, though, the scenes I shared with others were intimate, but there was nothing sexual about it. Not even kissing. I ...
Yes, I believe it does. Thanks for your response, I'm digesting all of this meticulously.
06/15/2011
sexyintexas sexyintexas
Quote:
Originally posted by bluekaren
That is awesome to hear, oh Hi everyone!
*waving* Hi!
06/15/2011
Serenesub Serenesub
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
EVERYONE is kinky.

False. Not everyone is kinky. Some people are not into kink whatsoever and it doesn't interest them. There isn't a switch you can flip to make someone suddenly become interested in kink. It's kind of like ...
Some also don't explore that side of themselves even when it's quite evident because they have misconceptions about the people involved in the lifestyle and the stigma they believe goes with it.
06/15/2011
VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
Everyone into kink likes to be beaten and hit.

There are plenty of people I know who actually hate impact play. There are plenty of things to do in BDSM that don't involve impact like fire play, wax play, massages, etc. It doesn't all have to deal with whips and chains.
06/15/2011
PunkyB PunkyB
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
EVERYONE is kinky.

False. Not everyone is kinky. Some people are not into kink whatsoever and it doesn't interest them. There isn't a switch you can flip to make someone suddenly become interested in kink. It's kind of like ...
took me about 8 years to own up to really own up to my kinky side.
06/15/2011
VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
Quote:
Originally posted by PunkyB
Still havent figured this one out for myself...
What do you mean?
06/15/2011
Sir Sir
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
Everyone into kink likes to be beaten and hit.

There are plenty of people I know who actually hate impact play. There are plenty of things to do in BDSM that don't involve impact like fire play, wax play, massages, etc. It doesn't ...
HAHAHA!!! Well, sure everyone likes being beaten and hit! (sarcasm)

I'm...not by any stretch of the imagination into that. Though I have met many Dom/mes who are!
06/15/2011
sexyintexas sexyintexas
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
Everyone into kink likes to be beaten and hit.

There are plenty of people I know who actually hate impact play. There are plenty of things to do in BDSM that don't involve impact like fire play, wax play, massages, etc. It doesn't ...
But whips and chains are pretty awesome
06/15/2011
Total posts: 300
Unique posters: 23