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There is nothing wrong with intimacy other than one's own partner because some people are compatible on the bdsm level but not on other levels. I may have a partner who I love who is completely vanilla, but I need someone to fill the BDSM part of
There is nothing wrong with intimacy other than one's own partner because some people are compatible on the bdsm level but not on other levels. I may have a partner who I love who is completely vanilla, but I need someone to fill the BDSM part of me (this is an example, not exactly true). That's how it is for some. Yes, BDSM is a very intimate form of sharing one's wants and desires with another, that exchange, but it's not necessarily sexual or even something that's lived for a set amount of time. The two may play nicely together in a dungeon setting, but they may not outside of that.
Hope that that helps!
It does help, thank you. It also raises a slew of other questions, not the least of which being: is it common for people in the lifestyle to be romantically/sexually spoken for but play with others on a platonic level? Perhaps I simply haven't been exposed to the scene long enough, but I've observed more people who play either with their sexual partners or have agreements with said partners to play sexually/non-platonica lly with others. I could easily be mistaken, but it seems more common for polyamorous relationships to occur amongst play partners rather than keeping the level of intimacy strictly non-sexual/romantic.
It seems the ideal D/s relationship demands a great deal of investment from all parties involved, so the idea of that relation being relegated to a 'casual' play or to something aside from complete devotion is strange to me. That could easily be my ignorance speaking, however, so take this with a grain of salt. I understand there is a difference between those who live a BDSM lifestyle and those who participate in sessions of BDSM play, but I'm not sure how wide the spectrum actually is or where along it my questions actually apply.
Perhaps it's the idea of splitting parts of oneself between people instead of seeking one person who can complement oneself as a whole that my comfort zone-- and admittedly, logic-- has trouble seeing the merit of. Would one treat one's BDSM play partners like friends, or something else?