EdenKink - Fetish Etiquette - Thursday, December 22nd, 2011 @ 8pm ET

The New Intimacy

EdenKink - Fetish Etiquette - Thursday, December 22nd, 2011 @ 8pm ET

Skip to last post
Set alerts
Updates
Forum search
Contributor: Tagmstr Tagmstr
Quote:
Originally posted by Rayne Millaray
Hi you guys! It's time for another EdenKink meeting! This month, based on your vote, we're going to discuss fetish ettiquette in and out of the home. This ranges from kink events and munches to rules and rituals within your own relationship. ... more
I have never been to one myself
12/22/2011
Contributor: Vanille Vanille
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
You have a new picture! I love it!
Thank you! -^^- Finally had a 'me' photo I was satisfied with.
12/22/2011
Contributor: luna[KM] luna[KM]
Quote:
Originally posted by Rayne Millaray
Hi you guys! It's time for another EdenKink meeting! This month, based on your vote, we're going to discuss fetish ettiquette in and out of the home. This ranges from kink events and munches to rules and rituals within your own relationship. ... more
I'm a Board Member for my local munch and I regularly attend the other munches in the area.

We have general etiquette rules that we apply to events such as be courteous, don't touch other people's property, what goes on here stays here, etc.
12/22/2011
Contributor: Kake aka PoeticErotica Kake aka PoeticErotica
Hey y'all! I made it! \o/
12/22/2011
Contributor: AndroAngel AndroAngel
I've been to a few munches. Our local munch is pretty laid back, but in general rules include: Dress in street clothes, take care of your tab, don't bring your children, and respect everyone present.

Oh, and don't talk about Fet Club.
12/22/2011
Contributor: winterseve winterseve
I've looked into munches in my area (I've never been to one) and I can only find negative feedback
12/22/2011
Contributor: Rayne Millaray Rayne Millaray
Luna, AndroAngel, do your munch groups have rules for becoming a member and/or rules for a member bringing someone into a munch group?
12/22/2011
Contributor: AndroAngel AndroAngel
Quote:
Originally posted by winterseve
I've looked into munches in my area (I've never been to one) and I can only find negative feedback
Have you tried Fetlife?
12/22/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Vanille
Thank you! -^^- Finally had a 'me' photo I was satisfied with.
I love your hair color
12/22/2011
Contributor: luna[KM] luna[KM]
Quote:
Originally posted by winterseve
I've looked into munches in my area (I've never been to one) and I can only find negative feedback
Negative feedback will be as common as positive feedback. Not every group is compatible with every person. A lot of what negative feedback is, is really a compatibility issue.
12/22/2011
Contributor: Rayne Millaray Rayne Millaray
Quote:
Originally posted by winterseve
I've looked into munches in my area (I've never been to one) and I can only find negative feedback
Same here. I've been considering trying to put one together myself, but I wouldn't have the first idea where to start. I'm researching, though!
12/22/2011
Contributor: winterseve winterseve
Quote:
Originally posted by AndroAngel
Have you tried Fetlife?
yes - unfortunately that's where I've found most of the negative comments for the ones in my area. Trying to find other ways to find munches besides on Fetlife.
12/22/2011
Contributor: Rayne Millaray Rayne Millaray
Quote:
Originally posted by luna[KM]
Negative feedback will be as common as positive feedback. Not every group is compatible with every person. A lot of what negative feedback is, is really a compatibility issue.
That's what I've heard. We've been considering checking out a couple groups, but the one that used to meet closest to us is currently without meeting place.
12/22/2011
Contributor: luna[KM] luna[KM]
Quote:
Originally posted by Rayne Millaray
Luna, AndroAngel, do your munch groups have rules for becoming a member and/or rules for a member bringing someone into a munch group?
To become a member you have to be 18+ and an interest in kink/BDSM. Bringing someone the only rule is that they also have to be 18+ and you are responsible for their behavior.
12/22/2011
Contributor: AndroAngel AndroAngel
Quote:
Originally posted by Rayne Millaray
Luna, AndroAngel, do your munch groups have rules for becoming a member and/or rules for a member bringing someone into a munch group?
Ours is pretty open. We operate under the assumption that if you go to the kinky meeting and tell someone you saw someone else there, you'd also be outing yourself.

The rules for the local parties and the cons are much more strict.
12/22/2011
Contributor: Vanille Vanille
I've not personally been to a munch. But from what I've observed from others organizing them:

-Be pretty darn vanilla since it is a vanilla setting that most will organize at. (this includes dress!)

-If that's not yours, don't touch it

-Common respect! Use what I like to call 'Whatever floats your canoe! Just don't sink mine!' Not everyone is going to like your kinks, and you're probably not going to like someone else's

-Pay for what you consume
12/22/2011
Contributor: Girl Deviante Girl Deviante
Quote:
Originally posted by luna[KM]
To become a member you have to be 18+ and an interest in kink/BDSM. Bringing someone the only rule is that they also have to be 18+ and you are responsible for their behavior.
The munches held in my area have the same rules.
12/22/2011
Contributor: Rayne Millaray Rayne Millaray
Back when I was an OP in Submission on dalnet (IRC), some kinksters told me there were often probationary periods for new members and sometimes even extensive joining protocols. Some said you had to know at least five people, or something. Have you guys ever encountered anything like that?
12/22/2011
Contributor: luna[KM] luna[KM]
Quote:
Originally posted by Rayne Millaray
Back when I was an OP in Submission on dalnet (IRC), some kinksters told me there were often probationary periods for new members and sometimes even extensive joining protocols. Some said you had to know at least five people, or something. Have you ... more
Not in the Midwest. We're much more relaxed protocol-wise when it comes to entrance into groups.
12/22/2011
Contributor: AndroAngel AndroAngel
18+, forgot that. I guess it's taken for granted since our munch happens in a bar that won't let you in the door if you aren't 21.
12/22/2011
Contributor: Kake aka PoeticErotica Kake aka PoeticErotica
Quote:
Originally posted by Vanille
I've not personally been to a munch. But from what I've observed from others organizing them:

-Be pretty darn vanilla since it is a vanilla setting that most will organize at. (this includes dress!)

-If that's not yours, ... more
We have one munch that is alcohol-free - the other 2 (?) are both held in settings where alcohol is sold & consumption is not encouraged nor discouraged. I'd add in those situations, don't get shitfaced.

As for the issue of a fit for a munch or group, I've found that of the three groups I've been to one is aight but I wouldn't go out of my way to attend, one is a great fit, and one is in-between. Also, what you're looking for from a munch or other event/group isn't going to be the same as what Sally or Jim is looking for, so take criticism with a grain of salt.

Oh yeah, and use scene names.
12/22/2011
Contributor: Rayne Millaray Rayne Millaray
Quote:
Originally posted by Vanille
I've not personally been to a munch. But from what I've observed from others organizing them:

-Be pretty darn vanilla since it is a vanilla setting that most will organize at. (this includes dress!)

-If that's not yours, ... more
Those are the main things I've heard, as well.
12/22/2011
Contributor: Kake aka PoeticErotica Kake aka PoeticErotica
Quote:
Originally posted by Rayne Millaray
Back when I was an OP in Submission on dalnet (IRC), some kinksters told me there were often probationary periods for new members and sometimes even extensive joining protocols. Some said you had to know at least five people, or something. Have you ... more
Never. We're pretty open & laid-back here, I think.
12/22/2011
Contributor: Rayne Millaray Rayne Millaray
Quote:
Originally posted by Kake aka PoeticErotica
We have one munch that is alcohol-free - the other 2 (?) are both held in settings where alcohol is sold & consumption is not encouraged nor discouraged. I'd add in those situations, don't get shitfaced.

As for the issue of a fit ... more
Is using scene names always mandatory? And was it difficult for you to get used to answering to your scene name instead of your given name? I always worry about that.
12/22/2011
Contributor: AndroAngel AndroAngel
Quote:
Originally posted by Rayne Millaray
Back when I was an OP in Submission on dalnet (IRC), some kinksters told me there were often probationary periods for new members and sometimes even extensive joining protocols. Some said you had to know at least five people, or something. Have you ... more
You need to know someone to get into some of the munches in areas where BDSM is still illegal and prosecuted. And bigger city munches. Also, there are invite only conventions.
12/22/2011
Contributor: Girl Deviante Girl Deviante
Quote:
Originally posted by Rayne Millaray
Back when I was an OP in Submission on dalnet (IRC), some kinksters told me there were often probationary periods for new members and sometimes even extensive joining protocols. Some said you had to know at least five people, or something. Have you ... more
No, not within the groups that are local to me. Some meetings, especially those that include demos, are held in private residences. The hosts of these often require references or time to get to know attendees in advance of allowing them in their homes, but that's not quite the same thing as a public munch.
12/22/2011
Contributor: luna[KM] luna[KM]
Quote:
Originally posted by Rayne Millaray
Is using scene names always mandatory? And was it difficult for you to get used to answering to your scene name instead of your given name? I always worry about that.
Scene names aren't mandatory. They are personal preference. It's very unlikely you'll be giving your full name so who's going to know you by your first name only? I answered to my scene name very quickly as it feels more comfortable to me than my given name.
12/22/2011
Contributor: Kake aka PoeticErotica Kake aka PoeticErotica
Quote:
Originally posted by Rayne Millaray
Is using scene names always mandatory? And was it difficult for you to get used to answering to your scene name instead of your given name? I always worry about that.
I use a scene name that's a nickname in my vanilla life as well, so no.

And as for mandatory, pretty much. It's your choice, I reckon, whether or not you go by a scene name but certainly in terms of addressing others, even if you know their rl name or w/e, I'd err on the side of caution.
12/22/2011
Contributor: AndroAngel AndroAngel
Quote:
Originally posted by Rayne Millaray
Is using scene names always mandatory? And was it difficult for you to get used to answering to your scene name instead of your given name? I always worry about that.
Most do, I go by Remiel. Most people seem to choose scene names that mean something to them or describe them in some way.
12/22/2011
Contributor: Rayne Millaray Rayne Millaray
Quote:
Originally posted by AndroAngel
Most do, I go by Remiel. Most people seem to choose scene names that mean something to them or describe them in some way.
That's a nice name. How do you pronounce it?
12/22/2011