A Sex Education Poetry Project: What do you think of this idea?

So Long Ya Doofuses! So Long Ya Doofuses!
Hello everyone! I am a college senior who is working on her B.A. in English with a concentration in poetry. As part of my degree, I'm having to take a Poetry Projects class, in which we spend the entire semester creating and perfecting a poetic project of our choice. Some people are doing a single long poem, others are crafting their portfolio for grad school, and still others (myself included) are writing a sequence of poems centered about a particular theme.
As a volunteer with my school's Women's Resource Center and a minor in women's studies, I have taken on the following challenge: to write a series of poems about the lesser known parts of the female reproductive anatomy. The trick is, I am trying to blend the technical/scientific lexicon of sex education with poetic language to provide an artful yet non-evasive approach to describing things such as the mons pubis, clitoris, and Bartholin's glands.
Right now, I have a poem that I am working on that have been giving me trouble. What better people to ask for advice than the wonderful literary minds that frequent EdenFantasys? I have typed up the poem below, though please keep in mind that this is very much work-in-progress.

*****************

Mons Pubis


“On my volcano grows the grass”;
As Dickinson so deftly wrote.
Yes, the grass is pubic hair.
Yes, the vulva’s volcanic.

Before “the fire that reeks below”
You have to cross a patch of grass
That grows along the mountainside
The great volcano’s first defense.

The mountain is forgotten much too often.

Some have grass like Dickinson's,
In bloom and wild and never trimmed.
Some are sites for crop circles
Or other patterns styled with care.

Others still are cleared away,
With every blade of grass removed,
Cut or ripped out by the roots,
Leaving wounds within the earth,
Nothing to protect it from erosion.


**********************

So what say you all? Is this a manageable idea for a semester project, or am I up Clit Creek without a paddle?
09/16/2012
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Ansley Ansley
I like the idea of the project, I'm just not really sure I'm keen on that specific poem. As a woman who shaves, I feel like the last stanza isn't accurate and gives me the impression that by removing my pubic hair, I am somehow damaging my body. That being said, I understand the difficulty in creating something that flows well, makes sense, and has a voice or a story at the end of the day.

I think Airen might have some really good advice for you. She should be around soon enough.
09/17/2012
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
The rhyme is tight and the meter is polished. I would expect nothing less from an English major! Your project is very ambitious and sounds like it would be a wonderful tool for promoting honestly and poetically looking at the genitals! I'm all for that.
I think you're completely on to something except for the last two lines...
Stormy is right, shaving or waxing off the hair on the genitals, at best, merely stops the pheromones from being concentrated. It doesn't cause any harm to the vagina.
"Others still are cleared away,
With every blade of grass removed,
Cut or ripped out by the roots,"
This first part is pretty accurate...it describes the process of shaving, trimming and waxing. Personally, I would love to see the last two lines a bit more descriptive rather than seeming to pass judgement. I feel it leaves the reader with the wrong impression. Rather than feeling like it's a wonderful exposition of the beauty of the Mons Pubis it leaves me feeling like there's something wrong with shaving and waxing.
Perhaps adding something about feeling smooth and being such an erotic feeling to have complete access to the skin and nerves of the area. It is a powerfully erotic feeling when the hair is removed fr the woman...it's not just for the look or the guy.

I love the way you break from far away vision to up close and personal with just the one line. It provides the perfect break and shows your shift in vision, very nice. I also love that you chose Emily Dickinson, beautiful juxtaposition between a closeted poet and a description of female genitalia. Her words are AMAZING..and man could she have used some freedom, eh?

I would love to see how this all turns out!
09/17/2012
Total posts: 3
Unique posters: 3