Naked Reader Book Club Discussion: Crazy Little Thing - Why Love and Sex Drive Us Mad, by Liz Langley (December 27, 8-10 PM EST)

OMG, I haven't read that yet but saw Jon Ronson on the Daily Show and just listened to a "This American Life" episode where he tells the story of visiting a CEO who he is going to talk to about the potential psychopathic traits of business leaders, i.e. being fearless in a way other people are not. It sounds brilliant and the story was kind of scary but hysterically funny, too. less

F.Y.I. - if you have not turned in your January book review choice, make sure you do so tonight (I'm making assignments right NOW!)

If you want to know more about Janurary's books go to the NRBC blog!

Ok, now back to the regular discussion!



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There are some very interesting discussions in the book about how much or how little we can blame (or thank) the brain chemicals for what we do when we're under their influence. Here's one take on that that I liked:


“Being a biologist who studies behavior, everything’s a combination of your biology and your upbringing,” says Dr. Marlene Zuk,37 author and professor of biology at UC Davis, whom we’ll talk to about animal passions later on. As for our responsibility to stay in control of ourselves while under the influence of love, she says, “There’s a chemical change in your brain if you pick up a donut. There’s always a chemical change in your brain. That’s how we work—we’re physical beings. I’ve always thought this idea of ‘If you can demonstrate there’s brain change’—à la PMS—‘you’re not responsible’ is not understanding what you mean by responsible.”

romantic love is a primitive, profoundly powerful mating drive which evolved millions of years ago to allow us to focus on an individual and start the mating process. And anybody who’s ever felt it—which is just about everybody on the planet—has probably had times when it overtook their rational mind and they went to call some- body when they shouldn’t have, or drove by their house when they shouldn’t have, or sent too many emails when they shouldn’t have. This can overpower the brain center for impulse control and you do stupid things,” she says.3

I have long theorized that computers should come equipped with breathalyzers that lock up the Send key if the user’s blood alcohol level is over the legal limit for driving. Think about how much humiliation the senders of drunken “I love you” emails would be spared. Is there an app for that? less

There are some very interesting discussions in the book about how much or how little we can blame (or thank) the brain chemicals for what we do when we're under their influence. Here's one take on that that I liked:


“Being a biologist who studies behavior, everything’s a combination of your biology and your upbringing,” says Dr. Marlene Zuk,37 author and professor of biology at UC Davis, whom we’ll talk to about animal passions later on. As for our responsibility to stay in control of ourselves while under the influence of love, she says, “There’s a chemical change in your brain if you pick up a donut. There’s always a chemical change in your brain. That’s how we work—we’re physical beings. I’ve always thought this idea of ‘If you can demonstrate there’s brain change’—à la PMS—‘you’re not responsible’ is not understanding what you mean by responsible.”

romantic love is a primitive, profoundly powerful mating drive which evolved millions of years ago to allow us to focus on an individual and start the mating process. And anybody who’s ever felt it—which is just about everybody on the planet—has probably had times when it overtook their rational mind and they went to call some- body when they shouldn’t have, or drove by their house when they shouldn’t have, or sent too many emails when they shouldn’t have. This can overpower the brain center for impulse control and you do stupid things,” she says.3

I have long theorized that computers should come equipped with breathalyzers that lock up the Send key if the user’s blood alcohol level is over the legal limit for driving. Think about how much humiliation the senders of drunken “I love you” emails would be spared. Is there an app for that? less

There are some very interesting discussions in the book about how much or how little we can blame (or thank) the brain chemicals for what we do when we're under their influence. Here's one take on that that I liked:


“Being a biologist who studies behavior, everything’s a combination of your biology and your upbringing,” says Dr. Marlene Zuk,37 author and professor of biology at UC Davis, whom we’ll talk to about animal passions later on. As for our responsibility to stay in control of ourselves while under the influence of love, she says, “There’s a chemical change in your brain if you pick up a donut. There’s always a chemical change in your brain. That’s how we work—we’re physical beings. I’ve always thought this idea of ‘If you can demonstrate there’s brain change’—à la PMS—‘you’re not responsible’ is not understanding what you mean by responsible.”

romantic love is a primitive, profoundly powerful mating drive which evolved millions of years ago to allow us to focus on an individual and start the mating process. And anybody who’s ever felt it—which is just about everybody on the planet—has probably had times when it overtook their rational mind and they went to call some- body when they shouldn’t have, or drove by their house when they shouldn’t have, or sent too many emails when they shouldn’t have. This can overpower the brain center for impulse control and you do stupid things,” she says.3

I have long theorized that computers should come equipped with breathalyzers that lock up the Send key if the user’s blood alcohol level is over the legal limit for driving. Think about how much humiliation the senders of drunken “I love you” emails would be spared. Is there an app for that? less

There are some very interesting discussions in the book about how much or how little we can blame (or thank) the brain chemicals for what we do when we're under their influence. Here's one take on that that I liked:


“Being a biologist who studies behavior, everything’s a combination of your biology and your upbringing,” says Dr. Marlene Zuk,37 author and professor of biology at UC Davis, whom we’ll talk to about animal passions later on. As for our responsibility to stay in control of ourselves while under the influence of love, she says, “There’s a chemical change in your brain if you pick up a donut. There’s always a chemical change in your brain. That’s how we work—we’re physical beings. I’ve always thought this idea of ‘If you can demonstrate there’s brain change’—à la PMS—‘you’re not responsible’ is not understanding what you mean by responsible.”

romantic love is a primitive, profoundly powerful mating drive which evolved millions of years ago to allow us to focus on an individual and start the mating process. And anybody who’s ever felt it—which is just about everybody on the planet—has probably had times when it overtook their rational mind and they went to call some- body when they shouldn’t have, or drove by their house when they shouldn’t have, or sent too many emails when they shouldn’t have. This can overpower the brain center for impulse control and you do stupid things,” she says.3

I have long theorized that computers should come equipped with breathalyzers that lock up the Send key if the user’s blood alcohol level is over the legal limit for driving. Think about how much humiliation the senders of drunken “I love you” emails would be spared. Is there an app for that? less

I have been wishing for years there was some kind of tool that could go into the inbox of someone else and pull back that unfortunate email you sent... or into the voicemail to erase the message you never should have left. It hasn't happened to me too often, but it HAS happened.

You'd think, given these chemicals can so drastically affect our moods and behaviors, someone would have come up with a pill to counteract it and help us behave.

I mean, you know, we don't always want to behave, but occasionally it's warranted. less

Kitty, I did find it. It goes on into discussing Asperger's Syndrome as an example of the need for clear communications, too. There's a later interview with someone in a BDSM relstionship which is very interesting, but I didn't copy that part.

"Relationships built on BDSM (the acronym refers to bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism) can provide good communication models for people in an AS relationship. BDSM relationships require explicit communication for partners to tell each other exactly what they want, need, don’t want—what their limits are. “I think all kinds of relationships can benefit from that up-front precision,” Dr. Marsh says. It could get boring if you had to do it all the time, she says, but a few rules and a lot of talk could be productive in some ways.

Part of the reason communication is so important is that people can be reluctant to engage in it. We’ll have sex with people but we don’t want to talk to them about having sex with them: talking can feel more intimate than sex. I asked Dr. Marsh if she had any talking points for lovers, whatever their relationship may be.

“If it’s an Asperger’s person talking to a partner, they’re going to be blunt, because that’s the way they are,” she says. It won’t occur to them that someone’s feelings might get hurt. NT people can be really matter-of-fact about it too, but if one partner feels he’s done all he can and he still can’t make his partner happy, that kind of impasse could cause a blowup.
But to communicate things about yourself you first have to know what those things are, and this takes a great deal of self-awareness, especially on the part of the aspie partner. Unless you were lucky enough to have been diagnosed in childhood and worked with therapists to help you integrate certain issues into mainstream life, it can be very difficult, Dr. Marsh says. That’s why it’s important to consider AS a potential issue in certain relationships. If this is truly appropriate, the AS person can be empowered by a diagnosis and can begin to understand the benefits and the challenges of the condition: “Okay, this is a real thing. I’m not just hopelessly incompatible with everybody.” less

F.Y.I. - if you have not turned in your January book review choice, make sure you do so tonight (I'm making assignments right NOW!)

If you want to know more about Janurary's books go to the NRBC blog!

Ok, now back to the regular discussion!



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