Naked Reader Book Club Discussion: Crazy Little Thing - Why Love and Sex Drive Us Mad, by Liz Langley (December 27, 8-10 PM EST)

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Naked Reader Book Club Discussion: Crazy Little Thing - Why Love and Sex Drive Us Mad, by Liz Langley (December 27, 8-10 PM EST)

bluekaren bluekaren
Quote:
Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours
Speaking of that, if you have not read it already, I just emailed you about tonight's book. Check your email!
I got it and no way....I want to get both for Jan as well, please. I love reading!
12/27/2011
RTx RTx
Quote:
Originally posted by Liz Langley
OMG, I haven't read that yet but saw Jon Ronson on the Daily Show and just listened to a "This American Life" episode where he tells the story of visiting a CEO who he is going to talk to about the potential psychopathic traits of ...
Get the Audio book read by Ronson himself...all the nuances are there OC public library has it...
12/27/2011
Sacchi Sacchi
There are some very interesting discussions in the book about how much or how little we can blame (or thank) the brain chemicals for what we do when we're under their influence. Here's one take on that that I liked:


“Being a biologist who studies behavior, everything’s a combination of your biology and your upbringing,” says Dr. Marlene Zuk,37 author and professor of biology at UC Davis, whom we’ll talk to about animal passions later on. As for our responsibility to stay in control of ourselves while under the influence of love, she says, “There’s a chemical change in your brain if you pick up a donut. There’s always a chemical change in your brain. That’s how we work—we’re physical beings. I’ve always thought this idea of ‘If you can demonstrate there’s brain change’—à la PMS—‘you’re not responsible’ is not understanding what you mean by responsible.”

romantic love is a primitive, profoundly powerful mating drive which evolved millions of years ago to allow us to focus on an individual and start the mating process. And anybody who’s ever felt it—which is just about everybody on the planet—has probably had times when it overtook their rational mind and they went to call some- body when they shouldn’t have, or drove by their house when they shouldn’t have, or sent too many emails when they shouldn’t have. This can overpower the brain center for impulse control and you do stupid things,” she says.3

I have long theorized that computers should come equipped with breathalyzers that lock up the Send key if the user’s blood alcohol level is over the legal limit for driving. Think about how much humiliation the senders of drunken “I love you” emails would be spared. Is there an app for that?
12/27/2011
aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
Quote:
Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours
F.Y.I. - if you have not turned in your January book review choice, make sure you do so tonight (I'm making assignments right NOW!)

If you want to know more about Janurary's books go to the NRBC blog!

Ok, now back to the ...
i still need to finish the review on this book!
12/27/2011
aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
Quote:
Originally posted by Snozzberries
Man, Liz AND gift cards?! What?!
I should visit these things more often.

Now I really need to get the book y'all are talking about here.
you really do! it's very unique. i've never read anything like it, or even heard of a book like it.
12/27/2011
Diabolical Kitty Diabolical Kitty
Sacchi if you can find that BDSM related one I'd really love to hear it if possible.
12/27/2011
bluekaren bluekaren
I know love has to be some sort of brain chemical driven madness. real love makes me act crazy, I love and hate feeling like that.
12/27/2011
aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
Quote:
Originally posted by Sacchi
There are some very interesting discussions in the book about how much or how little we can blame (or thank) the brain chemicals for what we do when we're under their influence. Here's one take on that that I liked:


“Being a ...
ha, this was int he first chapter.

i can totally relate.


it makes things make a LITTLE more sense when we understand the brain chemicals behind our actions, but i still don't think that's any sort of excuse for them. or to not to anything to divert them when they're dangerous to ourselves and/or others.
12/27/2011
Sacchi Sacchi
Quote:
Originally posted by RTx
I'm returning to it now at fifty...feels great like being twenty but not making the same radical mistakes...hell, I wrote 17 songs all about this topic called Haunted Halo...(see my profile)
I'll definitely check that out, RTx. My coping mechanism has been to write erotica (and edit seven (and counting) anthologies of it.)
12/27/2011
Snozzberries Snozzberries
Quote:
Originally posted by Sacchi
There are some very interesting discussions in the book about how much or how little we can blame (or thank) the brain chemicals for what we do when we're under their influence. Here's one take on that that I liked:


“Being a ...
"There’s a chemical change in your brain if you pick up a donut."

Heck yes.
I love donuts.

(I'm desperately trying to participate despite not getting the book yet.)
12/27/2011
aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
Quote:
Originally posted by Sacchi
I'll definitely check that out, RTx. My coping mechanism has been to write erotica (and edit seven (and counting) anthologies of it.)
good for you!


gosh, thanks ladies. now you have me excited for my sexy future.
12/27/2011
LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
Quote:
Originally posted by Sacchi
There are some very interesting discussions in the book about how much or how little we can blame (or thank) the brain chemicals for what we do when we're under their influence. Here's one take on that that I liked:


“Being a ...
I have been wishing for years there was some kind of tool that could go into the inbox of someone else and pull back that unfortunate email you sent... or into the voicemail to erase the message you never should have left. It hasn't happened to me too often, but it HAS happened.

You'd think, given these chemicals can so drastically affect our moods and behaviors, someone would have come up with a pill to counteract it and help us behave.

I mean, you know, we don't always want to behave, but occasionally it's warranted.
12/27/2011
RTx RTx
Quote:
Originally posted by Sacchi
There are some very interesting discussions in the book about how much or how little we can blame (or thank) the brain chemicals for what we do when we're under their influence. Here's one take on that that I liked:


“Being a ...
I don't think the"love "ones are as frought with peril for the sender as all those harsh F###you ones!!!Still, don't drink and type!!!
12/27/2011
aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
Quote:
Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours
I have been wishing for years there was some kind of tool that could go into the inbox of someone else and pull back that unfortunate email you sent... or into the voicemail to erase the message you never should have left. It hasn't happened to ...
there are pills! antidepressants curb the over-reactivity for some people. makes you mellow out and not swing so high and low.
12/27/2011
RTx RTx
Quote:
Originally posted by Sacchi
I'll definitely check that out, RTx. My coping mechanism has been to write erotica (and edit seven (and counting) anthologies of it.)
checking your profile...
12/27/2011
aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
Quote:
Originally posted by RTx
I don't think the"love "ones are as frought with peril for the sender as all those harsh F###you ones!!!Still, don't drink and type!!!


12/27/2011
Sacchi Sacchi
Kitty, I did find it. It goes on into discussing Asperger's Syndrome as an example of the need for clear communications, too. There's a later interview with someone in a BDSM relstionship which is very interesting, but I didn't copy that part.

"Relationships built on BDSM (the acronym refers to bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism) can provide good communication models for people in an AS relationship. BDSM relationships require explicit communication for partners to tell each other exactly what they want, need, don’t want—what their limits are. “I think all kinds of relationships can benefit from that up-front precision,” Dr. Marsh says. It could get boring if you had to do it all the time, she says, but a few rules and a lot of talk could be productive in some ways.

Part of the reason communication is so important is that people can be reluctant to engage in it. We’ll have sex with people but we don’t want to talk to them about having sex with them: talking can feel more intimate than sex. I asked Dr. Marsh if she had any talking points for lovers, whatever their relationship may be.

“If it’s an Asperger’s person talking to a partner, they’re going to be blunt, because that’s the way they are,” she says. It won’t occur to them that someone’s feelings might get hurt. NT people can be really matter-of-fact about it too, but if one partner feels he’s done all he can and he still can’t make his partner happy, that kind of impasse could cause a blowup.
But to communicate things about yourself you first have to know what those things are, and this takes a great deal of self-awareness, especially on the part of the aspie partner. Unless you were lucky enough to have been diagnosed in childhood and worked with therapists to help you integrate certain issues into mainstream life, it can be very difficult, Dr. Marsh says. That’s why it’s important to consider AS a potential issue in certain relationships. If this is truly appropriate, the AS person can be empowered by a diagnosis and can begin to understand the benefits and the challenges of the condition: “Okay, this is a real thing. I’m not just hopelessly incompatible with everybody.”
12/27/2011
bluekaren bluekaren
Quote:
Originally posted by aliceinthehole
there are pills! antidepressants curb the over-reactivity for some people. makes you mellow out and not swing so high and low.
I am so guilty of stalking and sending nasty voicemails not just while drinking either. Loving like that is dangerous!
12/27/2011
Snozzberries Snozzberries
Google's gmail actually does have a "drunk mail" filter that makes you answer a math question before you send it during a certain hour timeframe and they also have a new undo function.

Which is sweet.
12/27/2011
RTx RTx
Quote:
Originally posted by aliceinthehole


AWESOME!!!
12/27/2011
Snozzberries Snozzberries
Quote:
Originally posted by Sacchi
Kitty, I did find it. It goes on into discussing Asperger's Syndrome as an example of the need for clear communications, too. There's a later interview with someone in a BDSM relstionship which is very interesting, but I didn't copy that ...
Just as a note, you're my new friend.
12/27/2011
Nothere Nothere
Shoot, I'm late. Here now!
12/27/2011
aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
Quote:
Originally posted by bluekaren
I am so guilty of stalking and sending nasty voicemails not just while drinking either. Loving like that is dangerous!
tell me about it.



it's like, at least for me, the vagina is connected directly to the heart. once you're allowed in there, you can potentially be placed in one's heart, so to speak.

that can be a dangerous place to be, at least if one's residency there is unwillingly temporary.
12/27/2011
aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
Quote:
Originally posted by Nothere
Shoot, I'm late. Here now!
howdy and welcome!
12/27/2011
aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
Quote:
Originally posted by Snozzberries
Google's gmail actually does have a "drunk mail" filter that makes you answer a math question before you send it during a certain hour timeframe and they also have a new undo function.

Which is sweet.
lmao. that's kind of awesome.
12/27/2011
Liz Langley Liz Langley
Quote:
Originally posted by RTx
Liz, I haven't read far along enough to know...in Crazy Little Thing...do you explore people who pine themselves away for love...a la the 1980 film Somewhere In Time, based on Ricard Matheson's sci-fi/romance novel?
I do talk about some people who were simply not able to let go of their love relationships, even after they had been rejected, or even after the people they loved died.
I think when people get completely hooked that way it's just that the rush of love is still there for them and nothing else feels quite as good as the thought of that other person, even if that other person is out of reach. It's that addictive feeling....nothing is as good as that one particular rush. Also there's a known quantity...a comfort...that's better in their mind than the unknown (that's not in the book...I just thought about it).
The danger is if that pining turns into stalking...and that depends on the individual, their chemistry and to a great degree how they were taught to deal with emotions.

I also interviewed Cristina Nehring, author of "Vindication of Love," an amazingly beautiful book about intellectual women in history (Mary Wollstonecraft for one) who had love lives that were as intense - not always happily -as their careers. She talks about the richness of that romanticism, the kind that makes you hang on in that way and I'm very much in her corner on the high-highs and low-lows being very alluring. I was just talking with a friend today about that crazy, intense kind of love versus the sweet, sane stable kind...I have had both but never with the same person!
12/27/2011
LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
Quote:
Originally posted by Nothere
Shoot, I'm late. Here now!
Better late than never! Glad you could make it Leviathan!
12/27/2011
tim1724 tim1724
Quote:
Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours
F.Y.I. - if you have not turned in your January book review choice, make sure you do so tonight (I'm making assignments right NOW!)

If you want to know more about Janurary's books go to the NRBC blog!

Ok, now back to the ...
Wow, she's not kidding people. Just sent in my choice and got the "Administrator has sent you an assignment" message a minute or two later.
12/27/2011
Sacchi Sacchi
Welcome, Leviathan. We're rolling right along, but there's time yet.
12/27/2011
Diabolical Kitty Diabolical Kitty
Quote:
Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours
Better late than never! Glad you could make it Leviathan!
Laurel do you have my request for my assignment?
12/27/2011
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Unique posters: 19