Originally posted by
THESINDOLL--What is your advice for someone who wants to try the BDSM lifestyle or wanting to join a fetish club?
Well, a fetish club - depends on the area. Some are good. Some are shit. Some can be intimidating. If you;re new to BDSM, I wouldn't suggest busting up into one. Some of those places can be crawling with crazies. Fuck knows no one needs any of those in our lives.
New to BDSM - check out your local community. See what they have to offer. Read. There's some great books out there. Be honest with your partner and with yourself about what you want out of each experience. Keep a journal, maybe even a blog. It might help you to organize your thoughts. What you 'think' you might like, you really might not. Trust me, I've been there. Get references. Seriously. Don't be afraid to speak up, EVER. Sometimes "No" and even "Fuck off" can be your best friends. Never be afraid to stand your ground and don't be swayed. Don't get so frenzied that you want to try everything at once. Go slow. Watch. Listen. Learn. Ask questions. If someone can't take the time to help someone that's new, then you know then and there what you're dealing with. Be open, be honest. Be yourself. And hell... if it ain't fun, don't do it.