#ExpressLove - Explore Together!

Ansley Ansley



The world at large has so many things in it to enjoy and discover. All you have to do is reach out and take the chance to find out what's waiting for you.

Throughout our lives we are encouraged to explore our surroundings. When we were young, it was our duty to find new experiences and ask as many questions as we possibly could until our little brains understood the concept. As teenagers we challenged authority and explored the beginning trappings of relationships, both romantic and platonic. We developed a sense of who we are and what we like, what we don't like and catalog the things we're unsure about.

The game changes when we become adults. Or at least so it can seem...we're expected to be well-mannered, well-behaved, and ready to settle down and start good, successful paths in life. That's great and all, but if your marriage or relationship suffers because you aren't exploring what's available to you, what's the point of any of it?



Intimacy is the glue that holds a relationship together. Resorting to the same positions time and again, the same sounds, the same experience over and over again leads to a less-than-enthusiastic desire to continue being intimate with one another.

Exploring fantasies, whether vocally or physically can bring two people very close together. It can also rip them apart if not handled well. Rejecting or shaming a fantasy is a great way to make sure you never know if your partner has another fantasy in the wings that would better suit not only your personal boundaries, but your relationship boundaries as well. The key is compassion, honesty and communication that is not judgmental.

This week's theme is Expressions of Love: Explore Together. If there is a fantasy you've been holding onto for awhile, we encourage you to share it with your partner. Exploring all of those wonderful ways to achieve orgasm is its own brand of stress reliever. Nothing beats a good roll in the hay to calm those anxiety stricken nerves!

Think back on your past relationships, do you think it's easier or harder for you to express your wants now? What has helped you become confident enough to share your deepest desires? Maybe this was achieved through self-exploration or discussing ideas with your partner---whatever the case may be, tell us about it! We'll be posting your comments on Facebook throughout the week.

To help you get started, we're giving away baskets of Cake products on Eden Cafe this week!

04/09/2012
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Seharra Seharra
I think that it is easier to talk with my significant other now than it has ever been for me in the past. However, I still have my moments. Those moments when you just can't bring yourself to put words to a desire. I have a very, long-term, long-distance boyfriend. As a closet romantic I tend to go out of my way to do cute and romantic things for all of the people in my life (I strongly believe that everyone deserves it, regardless of who it is buying you flowers or cooking dinner when you're tired from work). Recently, a close friend has become more important to me than "just friends", and while the boyfriend knows about her... and she certainly knows about the boyfriend... I can't seem to figure out a way to say what I want- to either of them. We're all comfortable with where we are, no one is hurt or jealous, but I really just want to fall asleep in both of their arms. I'm terrified of ruining everything by asking for something so intimate from them both.
04/09/2012
Ryuson Ryuson
I think that it's easier to talk to my current boyfriend, but my past relationships were more open to ideas and being 'kinky.' We're working on it, though, and I finally got him to agree to try a cock ring again. Maybe someday we'll get to try a ton of new things, but for now I'm just moving slowly. We have enough time!
04/09/2012
SubmissiveFeminist SubmissiveFeminist
Oh, so much easier! I'm very much able to communicate what I want. I'm very open and sex-positive. There's no other way to it. People who are having sex NEED to communicate for it to be any good. =)
04/09/2012
Melan!e Melan!e
I've always been very open about what I want and my current boyfriend is now too. It took him a while though before he felt comfortable enough to open up to me but it has really brought us a lot closer.
It was important for me to stay positive and encouraging to him so that he felt that I would accept him no matter what he wanted to tell me. I'm glad we've come so far and I'm sure we can continue to grow and explore both as a couple and as individuals.
04/09/2012
Do emu Do emu
A lot of growing has helped me express myself, and also having a very open and supportive partner.
04/09/2012
Crystal1 Crystal1
I don't think I've ever really had a problem expressing what I want. Having partners that are respectful and really opening to listening has been big help in that!
04/09/2012
lilly555 lilly555
I think the ability to express myself depends on who my partner is. If I think they feel comfortable with what I want then all is good. I do however run into those who do not share the same views as myself and that can lead to conflict.
04/09/2012
NorthBayLady NorthBayLady
I don't have a partner at the moment, but I don have an ex boyfriend who I haven't seen in over 10 years. We connected again through facebook and I found out that he has never gotten over me. He wants to come back to Canada, he is in Germany at the moment. So everyday I get little messages from him and I send him messages. Big shock the other day we sent me a voice message. So to show him that I still cared, I sent him a video message telling him to get better soon. He is still amazing
04/09/2012
OohBaby! OohBaby!
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley



The world at large has so many things in it to enjoy and discover. All you have to do is reach out and take the chance to find out what's waiting for you.

Throughout our lives we are encouraged to explore our surroundings. ... More
It is much easier to express my wants now. I have become more confident because he is my husband, not just a boyfriend, and I know we will always be together. We have shared in the miracle of having a child together so it makes complete sense that we are open with each other about our desires. How else are we going to keep the spark alive? My husband is also very open about communication which is something I was very closed off to before I met him!
04/10/2012
socceras socceras
Now that I am 21 I find it a lot easier to express what I want. I am confident in myself and with my life and have no regrets and just plan on moving forward. The only way to get what you want is to make sure that others know what you want and that you will do what you need to get it.
04/10/2012
GONE! GONE!
It's easier for me now because I have more practice. I used to be more shy about asking for what I want when it came to anything but especially relationships but now I'm not ashamed to express my want for things like being close to someone.
04/10/2012
xOhxSoxScandalousx xOhxSoxScandalousx
Looking back on my past relationships I feel that I express myself much better now. I'm married to an amazing man and I do catch myself at times pushing him away and reverting back to the way I used to be with men. I just close myself up at times because I'm afraid to be hurt. But my husband has opened me up so much now. We have great communication with one another most of the time. I have learned a lot with him and am not afraid to be open and honest with him. I'm glad he feels the same way and doesn't hold anything back. I'm not afraid to tell him my wants and needs. We have grown so much together.
04/10/2012
VioletMoonstone VioletMoonstone
I think it's easier for me to express my wants and needs now than it was before. At first I was really shy and closed off to people, but over time I've learned to trust my boyfriend and know that I can tell him anything. We've been together for over 5 years and we are so happy! It's taken me a long time to fully trust someone but I'm so glad that I do now. I feel completely comfortable talking to him about anything, especially my wants and needs. Also, being in a relationship allows me to learn more about myself and in turn it makes it easier for me to be more confident about what I want. I'm sure he feels the same way too. It's all about trust.
04/10/2012
Ansley Ansley
It's great to hear that so many feel more comfortable now than they did in previous relationships. I hope that one day everyone can be comfortable with expressing their desires regardless of how their partner may feel about it. If you can't talk to the person you're sharing your life and body with, then who can you talk to?

I've said for years that if people would just be honest about what they want in a relationship and allow the other person the freedom to make their own decisions in the matter, there would probably be a lot less cases of infidelity based on "not having my wants met". That's just my theory, though.
04/10/2012
onfire4245 onfire4245
I am more open than in the past. My soon to be husband are more open now than when we was together the first time. I have taught him a few things. I tell him we can try anything between him and I. I am not into sharing my man or other women. We both have trust issues. I told him maybe later down the road we can try it. When we was first together he was not open to toys now we use them all time. Just wish he would understand I need a little touching and kissing to go with it. Instead of hey you want to get on top.
04/10/2012
Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by onfire4245
I am more open than in the past. My soon to be husband are more open now than when we was together the first time. I have taught him a few things. I tell him we can try anything between him and I. I am not into sharing my man or other women. We both ... More
Ah yeah, that's an age old problem! Tell him what you need! Or take the lead? Whichever you're most comfortable with.
04/10/2012
Amy Orvin Amy Orvin
I am having trouble being open, especially about having sex and when or where.
04/10/2012
ellejay ellejay
I think it's easier to express my wants in my current relationship. It is the most mature relationship I've ever had the pleasure of being in. Along with that, I am also at my most mature. I realize that I need to be able to express myself like an adult (instead of waiting for my partner to just know everything) to be happy. I gained the confidence to do so through loving and trusting my partner.
04/10/2012
sunchips sunchips
I think it's easier to express my wants now compared to before. I think in life we generally improve ourselves and develop so we are better in the present compared to the past.
04/10/2012
Katelyn Katelyn
I have been single for awhile now and am kinda embarrassed about missing my ex. We haven't been "together" for almost two years now although we occasionally have sex. I wish I had the courage to say what I am feeling but I think it may only complicate things as we live 5 hours apart. So I guess I am not really expressing myself lol
04/11/2012
Teacookie Teacookie
*wants* to love others one must first love ones self. Meaning if you don't love your self how can you know how others fell. Bathcake products awesome way to love your self. when you take care of yoru self and caul your self others will respect your efforts.
04/11/2012
RosesThorns RosesThorns
The more comfortable I am around someone the more comfortable I am expressing myself and expressing love. I am a very touchy person and like to be touching my partner anytime that I can, I feel that its a way to show that I care about them.
04/11/2012
Illusional Illusional
I express love through writing
04/11/2012
pagodess pagodess
My hubby and I have are very open with each other. When it comes to fantasys and things we've only recently been able to share with each other the deepest fantasys. I was a bit nervous as to what he'd think about some of them. He shared some of his with me. While I wasn't super excited about his fantasy I let him try some things he wanted to try and that opened some doors for me to ease into mine. We continue exploring with each other and trying new things.
04/11/2012
smm348 smm348
I express my love and desires through conversation, actions, and intimacy.
04/11/2012
PeaceToTheMiddleEast PeaceToTheMiddleEast
I express my love trough my actions, my kind heart, by helping when I can, and talking to people.
04/11/2012
angelnetinc angelnetinc
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley



The world at large has so many things in it to enjoy and discover. All you have to do is reach out and take the chance to find out what's waiting for you.

Throughout our lives we are encouraged to explore our surroundings. ... More
Hubs and I have been together for 8 years. I have two teenage daughters and one of them just had our first grandchild. We are still young, in our 30's, and sometimes it is hard to make time for each other. I like to leave little cards or notes for my husband, bring him coffee in bed or pull him into the closet for a sneaky passionate kiss
04/11/2012
The Giveaway Diva The Giveaway Diva
I express all my feelings and love for my bf through doing thoughtful things for him to show him that he is always on my mind and that i love and care for him. I think that is the best way to express you love for another person because it's easy to say that you love someone but it's harder to actually do things
04/11/2012
StarFire StarFire
I've never really had a problem expressing my self with anyone but i will say that I'm much more open with my current bf then I've ever been with anyone else. In the long though its the little thinks you do to keep the relationship strong and ever lasting!
04/11/2012
Total posts: 74
Unique posters: 71