#SummerPleasure - Fire Him Up!

Ansley Ansley


Sex, Stigmas, and Stereotypes. For women, if you tell guys you like to make out with women, someone in the group can usually be heard to shout a perpetual fantasy or a taunt to perform on the spot. For men who like to play with anal toys or other toys for men - it's an entirely different ballgame.



Homophobia and stigmas about men and anal play are still alive and kicking. The terms and slang have changed, but the judgment remains. If a man likes to be pegged or have his prostate massaged to climax, he's weird, or he might as well be gay, if he likes it in the ass. It can be difficult to bring in to a relationship as part of regular play. Thing about it is, it simply feels good. Nothing more or less to it and sometimes a river is just a river. No hidden agendas or meanings can be found, because there aren't any. (Thanks, EdenLit!)

By now, you should have caught on that we're going to talk about anal toys and masturbators for men, and how the preference for this kind of play has affected relationships on all levels.

Let's help get the word out that anal play for men is not only sexy, but it's healthy and a great way to strengthen the bonds of a relationship. Stigmas and stereotypes stay alive because we let them. If you can educate even one person on the benefits and pleasure one can receive through anal sex, consider it your good deed for the day. So, feel free to answer one, some, or all of the following with your opinion...

- Do you enjoy pegging, anal penetration, (surface) anal play, extreme anal play at all? Where does your comfort level lie with girth and length?

- Who brought up anal sex or incorporating strokers into play? Did you have difficulty in either the idea being accepted by your partner or maybe a bad experience the first couple of tries?

- What kind of advice do you have for those who are just starting out with anal play of any kind? Do you have a favorite lube you like to use? Or perhaps, a favorite position?

- For those who are new to the scene but eager to play, what are your fears concerning the subject?

- Last, but not least; do you know more or less people who think males masturbating with anal stimulation are homosexual or that it makes them homosexual if they like it? What have you done to dispel their belief?

To help get the party started, we're offering 25% off men's toys and a Summer Clearance on a whole lotta toys! Happy shopping!
06/11/2012
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Heatherbipoly Heatherbipoly
personally i don't think if u a guy and love anal play don't make u gay. ^_^ only if more belived the same.
06/12/2012
Nirelan Nirelan
We do anal play in my house. He doesn't see it as homosexual in ANY way, he just sees it as pleasure. I brought it up YEARS ago after reading a Cosmo and learning where the P spot was.....Then much to my amazement he let me find it! He likes when I use my fingers and we have just started trying to find toys that can be used as well....so far my finger is the best BUT we're still willing to find something else that might work!
06/12/2012
ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
"Do you enjoy pegging, anal penetration, (surface) anal play, extreme anal play at all? Where does your comfort level lie with girth and length?"
Naw never tried it.
Just kidding, ya I enjoy all kinds of anal play. Plugs, probes, dildos, vibes and prostate massagers can be found in my toy box. The only thing I have yet to add is a harness for the wife to wear for pegging (still working on that). I am pretty comfy with 5-6 inch lengths and 2" or so for diameter, although I have been known to go as big as 2 3/4" diameter on occasion and have conquered 3/4 of the Cowboy.

"Who brought up anal sex or incorporating strokers into play?"
I did, I asked the wife to use one of my anal toys on me one night to massage my prostate. There was some hesitation for her, maybe it was the gay thing (99% sure it was not that) or more probable was the cleanliness factor. I assured her I was clean and there would be no 'mess' aside from the lube and bought some latex gloves too. After she did it a few times I figured if she was willing to do that a stroker would be a small thing.

" What kind of advice do you have for those who are just starting out with anal play of any kind? Do you have a favorite lube you like to use? Or perhaps, a favorite position?"
First thing I would recommend is to buy and read Anal Pleasure & Health. Everything a person, male or female, needs to know is in that book. After that take things slow, listen to you body and enjoy the sensations. Keep an open mind and an open line of communication if you are sharing the experience with a partner. My favorite lube is still Maximus for anal play but any thick lube will work good too. I have had some good luck with Anal lube from Cal Ex as well. For those toys that are compatible with silicone lube, Better Sex Essentials is my favorite. Positions that I like are on my back with my hips supported by our Wedge or even just a pillow. Another one I like is to lay on our Ramp in a doggie style position, this works great as it gives my wife a good angle for anal/P-spot play but still gives her access to my other parts.

"do you know more or less people who think males masturbating with anal stimulation are homosexual or that it makes them homosexual if they like it?"
I only know two people that I have talked to about anal play in a general fashion, while they claim not to participate they were open to the discussion. As far as masturbation goes, I find more and more guys willing to admit to doing it. Not all of them claim to use toys though. These folks I suggest they shop around Eden and see what options there are.
06/12/2012
Ansley Ansley
Awesome that you two are willing and able to get down like that. It's not something I'm personally comfortable with receiving but I love to give. I'm just too neurotic to chill and enjoy it. I get too caught up on the safety issues surrounding it, but I'm hoping that with time and patience I'll be over to get over the hump and into the fun!
06/13/2012
sammyjojo sammyjojo
We've never tried it, but I'm pretty open to things. I don't know that my husband would be as open to it, but if he was interested I'd give it a shot. And for the record, I don't believe in labeling people. Whatever feels good is what you should do. Who cares what social implications there might be? I mean, your sex life is YOUR sex life, no one else's!
06/13/2012
mjtheprincess mjtheprincess
My biggest advice for beginners is to take a chance on anal play! Maybe it's a little scary, but if you start out real slow, take your time, and let go of the social stigma against it, you will experience some of the most intense orgasms you will ever have! And trust me, the sensation...totally worth it!
06/13/2012
glassman glassman
Personally, I love prostate play. Some of the best orgasms of my life have come from it. My wife is open to it and helps out sometimes. When she is involved we get out the " Billy" vibrator or just used fingers. Alone I love my Aneros Helix and the Pfun Plug. Guys, if you have not tried it, go for it. It is worth the trouble.
06/13/2012
phoenixfiress phoenixfiress
I don't believe just because you love anal your automatically gay. It is like my friends puts in I like a women, if that women likes anal well then I'll enjoy it. If you say you like anal but not women that's when your happy homosexual.
06/13/2012
Yasmine93 Yasmine93
I'm a huge fan of anal play. It's always fun and interesting. My ex and I did it all the time, I did it on him and vice-versa. He never thought of it as being gay. However my current boyfriend will only do it on me. It just depends on the person, how giving/getting anal is perceived. As for people who are doing it for the first time, I would say try it with an anal toy first and see if you like it.
06/13/2012
Sangsara Sangsara
When at work in a sex shop I move towards the anal section with this comment: " are you comfortable moving to the more adventurous part of the store?" or when showing the perks of a certain toy I say " oh and it's great for stimulation of the p-spot - if you or your partner is so adventurous". Contrary to popular belief not even all GAY guys enjoy or are comfortable with anal sex. I usually mention that males are basically made for anal sex seeing as how they have a p- spot and women don't but many men (and women) think that the outdoor is the out-door and nothing should be going in. Uncomfortable is uncomfortable and though I am a total vibrator/ sex toy thumper I have no intention and share no joy in making anyone personally uncomfortable- wearing something out of the ordinary- that kind of " making people uncomfortable" sure but not when it comes to sex.
But to answer what seemed to be the question: I just discovered enjoy ent in a thin vibe in my ass while being penetrated vaginally and it actually was quite nice- length was not an issue as long as the girth was as slim as possible. I'm the other way around with vaginal. I would love to try pegging and fun factory's share- the little pink one looks great for beginners. Intimate organics soothe is an anal lube with the thickest viscosity I've seen plus it has guava bark which is a natural antibacterial agent. Phew sorry for the long post I get excited when I have lots to say
06/13/2012
Castielskitten Castielskitten
Honestly, if a guy likes to be fingered anally, or have a toy there, or even pegging, doesn't mean he's completely gay.
Some guys thinks that it feels good, and they wouldn't be wrong!
06/13/2012
Shiromisa Shiromisa
I'm excited to try anal stuff with my guy! I'm a bit of a newbie, so I'm a little nervous I'll, um, do it wrong at first, but I'm sure we can figure it out.
06/13/2012
ghalik ghalik
I think the whole "anal = gay" thing is strange considering not all that many gay men take part in anal sex. Everybody (well, almost) has an anus and rectum! Play with it if you want, don't if you don't. It's that simple.
06/13/2012
JennSenn JennSenn
Anal is anal, it's not gay. After all, both genders have an anus! XD I would probably bring it up with my guy if I had one. I know a gay man and, well, my father is actually bi so pretty much everyone I know is open minded.
06/13/2012
mllebeauty mllebeauty
I know many people who are less accepting of anal play in general, for both men and women. These people definitely have issues with males masturbating with anal stimulation and do seem to think this indicates homosexuality. I do my best to explain it's just about pleasure and has nothing to do with sexual preference.
06/13/2012
wrmbreze wrmbreze
I have never tried anal play and he doesn't want to. I don't understand why everything is tagged as someone being gay if they do a certain thing. How about we are humans who like to feel pleasure in all its forms and leave it at that?

I should also say that I am open to just about any type of play that my hubs is open to.
06/13/2012
sexyfun sexyfun
Me and my partner are both not interested in anal play but if you are that certainly doesn't mean you're gay. If you are gay that is not a big deal either, people just need to get over the old ideas and welcome people because they're human
06/13/2012
gsfanatic gsfanatic
It's not something I'd try (not pleasurable), but I wouldn't consider it as necessarily gay or straight. Being gay means you're attracted to someone of the same gender, not what part goes where
06/13/2012
guro guro
if a guy likes anal play there's nothing wrong with that, ever! it's only gay (or part of being bi/pan/etc) if he's attracted to other guys, period.

if i had a male partner who was into pegging, heck yes i'd peg him, why not. exploring new things sexually is a good way to learn about one another and build trust!
06/13/2012
All His All His
So tired of homophobia and all the labels it puts on people. Anal play does not make you gay, just means you enjoy another aspect of sexual play
06/13/2012
Faeya Faeya
- Do you enjoy pegging, anal penetration, (surface) anal play, extreme anal play at all? Where does your comfort level lie with girth and length?

I had a bad experience with anal sex once upon a time and have been very leery of trying it again. However, I am curious and we plan to buy some very small anal toys for me and possibly for Him.

- Who brought up anal sex or incorporating strokers into play? Did you have difficulty in either the idea being accepted by your partner or maybe a bad experience the first couple of tries?

He's the one who has been trying to bring me around to a place where I could try it again. There's no real pressure involved, just a sense of curiosity. As for Him, He's done some anal play in the past, but doesn't push me in that direction either because of my skittishness.

- What kind of advice do you have for those who are just starting out with anal play of any kind? Do you have a favorite lube you like to use? Or perhaps, a favorite position?

GO SLOW the first time. My first (and last) time involved someone who was very comfortable with anal sex but had no clue how to initiate a virgin...hence my nervousness...

- For those who are new to the scene but eager to play, what are your fears concerning the subject?

Besides the possible pain, I would need about 20 condoms to make sure it wasn't messy. It just sounds like it's potentially gross...

- Last, but not least; do you know more or less people who think males masturbating with anal stimulation are homosexual or that it makes them homosexual if they like it? What have you done to dispel their belief?
I haven't really discussed anal stimulation with that many people, but both of my ex's were of the "anal=GAY!" camp, and there wasn't much I could do to change their mind. Then again, one of them was so homophobic that he wouldn't even let me play with his nipples, so I think anal was the least of his worries!
06/13/2012
TheSinDoll TheSinDoll
Do what makes you happy! Who cares what others think!
06/13/2012
Stooshy Stooshy
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley


Sex, Stigmas, and Stereotypes. For women, if you tell guys you like to make out with women, someone in the group can usually be heard to shout a perpetual fantasy or a taunt to perform on the spot. For men who like to play with anal toys or ... More
There's nothing wrong with anal play at all, I find it very exciting.
06/13/2012
RomanticGoth RomanticGoth
I'm a big fan of anal play. My guy... not so much. I'm working on getting him a little more open to the idea. *sigh* Maybe someday.
06/13/2012
ScarletFox ScarletFox
Anal play goes both ways in my relationship, though he is still very tentative in trying any toys. He is okay with me using a very basic non realistic looking toy that we have designated just for him which he enjoys. Though he is still very unsure about me using anything else.
06/13/2012
digit88 digit88
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley


Sex, Stigmas, and Stereotypes. For women, if you tell guys you like to make out with women, someone in the group can usually be heard to shout a perpetual fantasy or a taunt to perform on the spot. For men who like to play with anal toys or ... More
anal play doesn't make him gay
06/13/2012
TicklingPink TicklingPink
I think any guy who wants to try anal play on a woman should be willing to try it himself too. Turn about is fair play!

Oh, and I'm not sure what's gay it unless you're doing it with someone of the same sex. If you're a man having sexy fun times with a woman then that's not "gay."
06/13/2012
hesteele09 hesteele09
Just because a guy likes a little anal play here and there does not make him homosexual. To be homosexual means you are unattracted to womean and attracted to men while all in all enjoying anal and sucking cock. My boyfriend very much LOVES anal especially while giving him a bj but trust me he is not attracted to men in any way shape or form. lol As far as first timers in anal sex I would say go slow, dont jump into anything and think you are going to be able to take a 10 inch dildo like in the porn films. See what you can handle first and then go from there.
06/13/2012
Pi Pi
I like anal play but my wife has been very leery. I have a couple probes and a nice p-spot vibe and I am very interested in trying pegging. Until recently stories of painful encounters and cleanlyness fears held her back from even discussing it but she knows I enjoy it so she is slowly warming to the idea.

As far as anal being gay I know several people that think that way and honestly its easier usually not to argue. I'm not gay and I like it, one of my gay friend hates it so it's all a matter of taste.
06/13/2012
Total posts: 99
Unique posters: 92